Ob visits-the norm, what I do, and how it is all different with #2

Typically when one becomes pregnant, they call and make a new ob appt.  The receptionist has some guidelines to follow and you get in according to the doctor's preferences and their schedule.  There is some typical bloodwork to be completed.  There is an ultrasound if you are far enough along (which usually they are because they don't see patients early typically).  Then you start seeing the doctor monthly.  Each time you give a urine sample (UTIs aren't good to have when pregnant, so they test frequently) and mostly spend the time getting your questions answered.  It is normal to have a ton.  A good doc patiently listens.  If you are fortunate, they track progesterone.  Sometimes three ultrasounds per pregnancy is on the typical end.  More if you are high risk or had a history of miscarriage.  None of these frequent visits are subject to copay, thankfully.

My experience, admittedly, is a little different than this.  And better in my opinion.  Some due the miscarriages.  Some due to a fabulous doctor.  First of all, when I mention history, I can get in asap upon positive pregnancy test.  I have just learned to ask.  I could easily have just accepted the appt at 9 weeks given to me by my first ob upon pos test.  But no thank you.  lol.  Secondly, I get scanned quite frequently.  Those that are more of a natural nature might not like this idea, but it doesn't concern me (the quick exposure of the baby).  After the dx "habitual aborter" which I hate of course, ultrasounds are covered at the doctor's disgression.  My first ob, though lacking in a lot of ways, branded me with this after one miscarriage which was helpful in insurance coverage.  Dr. Hilgers always covers my progestone support, and I have had to find ob/gyn that support this and don't feel their ego is being stepped on (one reason I left the initial ob).

Initially my ob (new as of this pregnancy) had decided to see me every two weeks.  He also gave me that open req for hcg draws every 48-72 hrs (which was a mixed blessing if you recall...).  Two appts ago, when he was seeing me for the 2nd time (I had also had an appt with his nurse when he was out of town), he said "let's go to monthly visits after next time."  However, after the next visit, he said "come back...whenever you want."  I smiled.  He doesn't want me to worry.  And I haven't been.  Really.  I haven't asked him a million questions.  I really have none.  I just want to come in, see the baby is okay, and leave.  Very different than with charlie.  Maybe having an 18 month old pushing the "call" button every 5 seconds and sticking his hand in the trash can adds to this?!  lol 

Yesterday I had another appt.  I came after 3 weeks, trying not to take advantage.  First the nurse gives me the forms for testing you can do for abnormalities.  Let me clarify for anyone who doesn't know-a) these tests carry risk-from slight to more b) these tests are not near 100% accurate and can tell you more often than not your baby has down's syndrome and are wrong-no lie and c) if they do find any of the things wrong they test for, there is not one thing they can do about any of them.  No surgeries in utero, nothing.  So, these tests are mainly if you a) want to be prepared for a problem (though you may prep for a problem you don't have or not prep for a problem you do have if the tests are wrong) or b) if you want to terminate.  I have confirmed this with my not even pro life and def doesn't believe in God brother in law anesthesiologist.  So, as you can probably tell, I immediately deny all of them. 

Second, I got in there and they tried to the use the doppler just to hear a heartbeat.  Don't ever let this scare you?!  I don't know why they do this, but for some women I imagine it is torture (maybe for me the first time it was, but I don't remember).  It is hard to hear a heartbeat on top.  The baby has to be older.  And the position of your cervix matters (mine is tipped back).  So they don't ever hear anything this way until I am very far along!  Then they moved to a top of belly scan (if they make you wait to pee, this really can be torture!).  Again, they never see anything until very far along. So there is that time of silence while they look and look and then give up.  Eventually they go to the transvag ultrasound where they have no trouble seeing the baby.  Since my doc is the one doing the ultrasound and not a tech, it is fast.  He sees a heartbeat and prints a few pics.  I prefer to have the baby measured (crown rump length gives you a measurement and then also corresponds that to the age of the baby so you can see if the baby is growing appropriately.  A few days ahead or behind is no big deal, but some docs change your due date from this growth).  I would love to hear the baby's heartbeat audibly and have it measured, but I am not complaining.  I got to see the baby.  I got to see the heartbeat flicker.  It is a wonderful thing.  I get dressed and he says, "I'll see you back here...whenever."  He said he would keep operating this way, and scanning me at every visit, until I could feel the baby move for reassurance.  I smile.  I am attaching the baby pictures since it is one that is exceptionally clear. The head is to the left.  I am 11 weeks 2 days here.  Amazing, huh?  One more piece of great news. This ob/gyn is getting trained in Omaha in September.  Praise God!  I hope he learns the surgery stuff too; I hear he is an amazing surgeon already!

Eleven Pounds Later...

Not my best pic (glasses on due to my contact going down the drain that morning-we recovered it but-gross.  It had to undergo some serious cleaning!) but you get the point...this was at least a week ago and I am sure I am larger.  It is coming on even faster this time. 
Going to try and get my progesterone level results from PPVI today and an ob appt this week since yesterday I was dreaming the infection was hurting the baby!

To Make You Smile

Charlie has a new "trick."  I say "show me your cheesy smile" and boy, he doesn't dissapoint!  This was just taken last week and it definitely is contagious! 

Also, if you are interested in more pics, about 3 posts ago I posted Easter pics. I started with one and later added many without really denoting that I had changed it. Almost immediately after I posted again about my friend in need, so some of you may have missed them. (Btw, she took a pill to induce miscarriage yesterday so please pray it is quick, effective, and as emotionally and physically pain free as possible!)

Thank you for following!

This is a post with a simple purpose-to thank everyone who is "following" this blog (officially or unofficially) and everyone who comments.

I know I am not a great writer.  I know that many ladies with IF are turned off by blogs of those that have children, and that is understandable-no judgement.

When I started this blog, I had no readers.  I knew it.  I didn't make my blog public in any way.  I didn't want it public.  It wasn't "ready."  That was years ago!  In November, I read This Cross I Embrace's blog through getting to know her from the Dr. Toth yahoo health discussion group.  I was blown away. She introduced me to the larger Catholic IF community and...wow.  I knew I needed to get my blog up to speed.  I wanted to share back with these amazing ladies.  That was last November.

A lot has happened since then.  I got it up to speed, became addicted to a million other blogs out there, and started spreading the word about my blog, mainly trying to share what has worked for us-the effective treatments as well as the spiritual healing that took place throughout our IF journey. 

I am someone who likes to see tangible progress (which is why the dissertation is so dang hard!).  And can I just tell you, seeing the number of followers increase exponentially to twenty just blows my mind.  Literally beyond my wildest dreams!  I know it isn't supposed to be a pat on the back, it can be for so many reasons that you follow, but can I just say THANK YOU!  I think it is awesome!  And can I also just say don't ever leave me!  Just kidding-but one follower did leave and I tracked her down and dragged her back, so I am just warning you, I love each and every one of you, even those without a blog I know nothing about!  Seriously, if you do decide to stop following, feel free to send me an email with the reason why, if has something to do with something I have said or done.  I am not saying I will change for people, just that am open to feedback and I want to know how I am being perceived.  As I have said before, I am not a talented writer (admit freely) and it is a little scary that people are getting to know me only through what I say on here...never quite sure if I come across how I intend...or how I do in person...but anyway...

I am always especially grateful when someone takes the time to go through my archives.  I know that time is precious, and I guarentee my archives are a lot juicier than the day to day stuff going on right now.   I love it when people read and comment on old posts-it lets me know you visited!  Sometimes I comment back, I love it!

I also wanted to tell you I am always open for anyone to email me if they want to know more about a particular topic I've mentioned or just share their story.  I love this personal aspect to blogging, and am always willing to answer a stranger's email.  We won't be strangers for long! 

Anyway, it has been on my heart awhile to thank you, so there you go!  Being part of the blogging community has truly enriched my life!  I pray for each of you often!

Progesterone, Infections, and Dissertation

Thanks again for prayers for my friend.  I updated everyone in the comments, so be sure to check there if you haven't already.  Warning-this is sort of an all over the place post.

First a pregnancy update.  All is going relatively well.  My prog is being a bit of a downer though.  Literally.  P+8 was 24.5 so I stayed on the 200mg dose of poi until I found out the next level; P+17 was 38.8 (high zone 3) so I went down to the 100 mg dose; 30 dpo was 22.4 (high zone 2) so I went back to 200mg dose; and 44po was 20.6 (mid zone 2) so staying on the 200 mg dose.  I am not worried.  I am annoyed. Lol.  I would like it to be higher.

My friend's loss makes me face something about my own dx since we are similar.  Though her infection is multi generation and mine isn't necessarily and is arguably not as severe, it is important to realize that each time we ttc and each time we get pregnant, we are bringing out the big guns to suppress the infection.  Though needed, at some point the abs will no longer work, the infection will be resistant and will no longer surpress. This is what has happened to her.  I am grateful for the abx during pregnancy.  I know that abx to get pregnant doesn't ensure a healthy pregnancy or a lasting one, just improves the odds.  I was afraid when I first did orals it would be enough to get pregnant and not stay pregnant, but they worked fine.  But the next time the same amt may not work. So I am glad we are doing orals during pregnancy this time.  But what next time.  At some point the "luck" will run out.  That is a sobering thought.

Okay, now on a totally different note, I have to recommend a book.  I have read it before and am rereading it with dh now.  The Good News about Se.x and Marri.age by Christo.pher Wes.t is amazing.  I know some of you have rock star Catholic hubbies and that is great.  But mine is not familiar with the Theol.ogy of the Bo.dy teaching and it is important he learns for many reasons.  We have been cuddling up each night and reading together and I can't express the closeness it is bringing to our marriage.  It is like a light has turned on for him and he is totally getting it.  Before, indoctrinated in the world's view of se.x, this book has a completely different and amazing take.  It will make your marriage better.  No question.  And it is a totally easy read.

Prayer request for me.  I am on the computer.  Instead of working.  I need to refocus.  I need to get my dissertation done.  I like tangible results and this process continues to be void of any.  I can never see progress, it is hard to even have little goals be successful.  Example, my advisor and I came up with a timeline to get done before the baby.  I was excited.  Advisor thought it was doable.  What do I know?!  I believed him.  I sent the timeline to another committee member, who nicely told me it was completely unreasonable and basically I could maybe get done in Dec.  The baby is due in November.  I was crushed.  I keep finding it so hard to recover from these blows.  They just come one right after another.  I just want to taste success.  Achievement.  It is my personality, I guess.  But this process, it seems to allude me.  Ugh.  I am going to really try to buckle down today.  And every day. Until the baby comes, but after avoidance for this long...needing prayers.  It is so hard to be focused at home working.  When I am hungry and tired and nauseated and not motivated.  But I have childcare, must make the most of it.  Sorry I keep asking, but I am so grateful for the prayers!

Begging All Prayer Warriors

Please join me tonight in storming heaven for a dear friend.  I have mentioned her before to you-after many years of trying, with the help of Dr. Toth and Hilgers, she and her husband finally conceived and had a beautiful daughter on their first try post Dr. Toth's full treatment.  Their daughter is a little older than Charlie.  They ttc on the same cycle as us for #2 and were successful, due one week before us.  She had a healthy beautiful heartbeat.  And then today, it was gone.  She is ten weeks. I write to you through tears in disbelief.  This women is so good, so deserving, such an amazing faith-filled Catholic that lives it to her core.  I admire her so much, and I ached to my core to read this tonight.  Here is her email:

"Now today's appointment wasn't so good. The doctor did the doppler and of course it wasn't to surprising to not hear anything because I wasn't necessarily far enough along, but the follow-up US did not look hopeful. We didn't see any blood with the baby (when she switched to something that highlighted blood movement), and the baby seemed younger than it was supposed to be, and no heartbeat. So tomorrow we are doing a transvaginal with the specialist for this age. Slim chance that this US is wrong, but we aren't all that hopeful. The sack was still good quality, but I wonder if the progesterone shots were prolonging it. So there is a good chance I am miscarrying. I suspect the infection is the most likely culprit because the quality of that mucus build-up was so good. So please keep us in your prayers".


I know God can provide a miracle, should He see fit in His infinite wisdom.  I have called on you girls to pray before, and you have always come through ten fold.  Please, I am begging you selfishly, lift her and her husband and their child up in your prayers and plead God for the miracle they so deserve!

Happy Easter!

Family pictures are rare!

day prior-2 eggs are better than one-very pleased

gotta love the tongue!

showing the sound a monkey makes!

discovering the egg hunt!

yum-dried apple!

pleased with a new toy!

first time using bubbles-I think he likes them!

love it!

Story of Baby that Defied Doctors and Refused to Die

I just came across this story again (my best friend had shared it with me awhile ago) when cleaning out my email and it is definitely worth reading if you haven't already-such an amazing story of how a baby defied "science" and lived!  You won't be sorry for checking this out!