Dr. Hilgers was kind enough to write me (some time ago, sorry for the delay) and let me know about the different levels of training Napro docs can get. Many of you, especially fertilitycare practitioners yourself, already know this. But others, like me, had no idea (thank you for those of you who did start to explain it to me under the comments section of previous posts and via email; the letter explained this in more detail). This stemmed from the fact that at one time I saw a doc I thought was Napro (referred to by my former practitioner) and came to find out he only completed half the training once and never attended anything else to learn more. While he was the nicest physician ever, it was frustrating. Frustrating, but not disastrous because I am insanely fortunate to be on my second insurance that covers Dr. H as in network even though we are out of state (though I still curse them regularly, I am forever grateful)! Napro docs are listed on the fertilitycare.org site, but it doesn't distinguish the level of training, only that they've received it. Here is what I learned. First of all there are NFP only docs, and while arguably doing something noble and good and need our support and prayers, they have not received any training in Naprotechnology and therefore will not be qualified to just "wing it." It is something that definitely requires specified training. I have a wonderful ob/gyn that is NFP only at this time. I go to him as "baby catcher" since Dr. H still manages my care. I am excited to report to the locals that he will be attending the training in the fall, which is huge as he is the ONLY ob/gyn in this large metropolitan area that will be trained in Napro! I digress...
The letter explained the levels of actual training available. They are:
1. The medical consultant program, which is 16 days long and the basics are covered. There is a variety of physicians that come out of this, some good and some that just seek the certificate.
2. The next level is Certified Fertility Care Medical consultation. They do the same program but get additional certification through the organization that requires some peer review of cases and a three hr exam based on Hilger's textbook. I personally have found the good docs own and refer to this book regularly. Good is my own term, here being defined as "adhering closely to Dr. Hilgers' methods." Dr. Hilgers himself said this group "is the most enthusiastic and generally involved in their practice."
3. Finally, the most advanced program is the ob/gyn that has done the fellowship program to learn the surgical aspect of napro. They also know the medical components, but the surgery component allows them to be skilled at Hilgers' high tech methods of less adhesions/scar tissue and tube repair etc. In my opinion, these are the docs for sure well worth traveling several hours to go see for surgery if they are closer than Dr. H and/or Dr. H isn't covered by insurance. Personally, I would never trust another doc with even a lap again. Scarring is too big of a deal.
I am grateful for Dr. Hilgers, his methods, and his network of trained professionals. I am sorry this information isn't more readily available, but now you have it. Your personal experience and thoughts are welcome.
I am on the journey we are all called to-to accept God's will and perfect love. Whether I am white knuckling it with my eyes shut tight or standing up with my arms outstretched enjoying the ride, I try always to let God be the driver and not bail out the side when there are bumps (like IF!). On good days, I trust He won't run me into a tree. :)
5.28.2010
5.26.2010
Blog giveaway, Vegas, Charlie, yeast and more drama at Cig.na
First of all, let me say that Sew was the only entry in my blog giveaway, so progesterone in oil to you asap my friend!
I called Ci.gna again yesterday because they can’t seem to repeat the correct things about my order two times in a row resulting in a different error every time they mail me meds or needles. That is five times now. Geez. One of these days maybe…one can hope. Weight gain and eating has slowed down to half of what it was before or more, probably because I am on half the progesterone and out of the first trimester. I got a progesterone draw today so hoping I can remain on this dose, but armed with my super strength progesterone in case I go back up to four shots a week (then it will only be two like now-yeah!) Also, dh and I just finished our ten days of orals that we go on every 8 weeks of the pregnancy per Dr. Toth. I am amazed at how well the Syn.tol is working at keeping any yeast at bay-for the “small” price of $70 for 180 pills-yikes!
On to fun topics, Dh and I had a little getaway last week to Vegas. It is funny, I would NEVER choose Vegas given the option, but I always have a good time. Dh had to go there for work and so I tagged along. We had an amazing hotel, oh my gosh (Ar.ia in the new City Cen.ter-paid for by his work)! A remote control worked the tv, lighting, do not disturb sign, curtains…it was crazy. I enjoyed days by the pool while dh was at his conference during the day for two days plus we had the whole day the day we got in to bum around. Dh did want to play some blackjack, and so we were able to find a few good alternatives to dark and smoky casinos. We especially enjoyed Harrah’s outside where the dj was good and we could sing along and enjoy the 75 degree weather (at night). Perfect. And we saw “O” which is absolutely incredible. It is the Cirque d’ Solei water show and it featured 9 former Olympians (divers, synchronized swimmers, and gymnasts). It was right up my alley (I don’t get into the other shows as much) and dh enjoyed it as well. And there was plenty of good food to be had the whole trip-I have a weak spot for Smit.h and Wolens.ky’s and envy those of you that live in Chicago. We don’t have one here, not that I could afford it more often! I wish I had pictures other than the hotel (the remote control is on the left side table), lol, but I didn’t take my camera around much and I have none of dh and I :(
It was also nice that Charlie did so well with my in laws, that went a long way toward us relaxing; they kept him on schedule and he slept great, which is probably why they were amazed at such a good boy he was. Sleep is imperative for that! They live 3 hrs away and I could tell they had a whole new bond when we got back so that was great too. Dh and I needed some time for just us. It was only the 2nd time we have ever left him for more than a date night. The first was only about 30 hrs (a quick getaway to a nearby bed and breakfast).
Speaking of Charlie, I know I rarely talk about him here, but that guys just melts my heart daily. He language is growing, but it is still the things he says wrong that I love so much, like “wiwi” for kiwi now and “wawa” for water. He gives tight hugs and pats our backs and comes up for random leg hugs or arm pats before running off to play with his trucks. His summer sitter is a friend of mine (speech path with the summer off-I have the best sitters!) and she has a 2 ½ year old daughter. She led him all over the house yesterday by the hand and it was cracking me up seeing him be her willing follower. I need to post a video or two of that man in action. He does keep me humble though! The other day we hit the library for the first time by our house and he saw a huge stuffed dog. He ran over, mounted it, and started “vigorously” riding it screaming “go horsie go” and other things I couldn’t make out. Let’s just say we had all eyes on us! He is definitely full of personality.:) Here is a pic of another friends' daughter and him cheesing it up!
Oh yes, and dh left town for a day so I got my shot at the doctor's office yesterday. They just pinch the fat and shove it in. And all along, dh has been spreading the skin taught. It went in really smooth today and that may be why. Also, dh is so good about giving it slow and I can't believe how fast she gave it. But I am definitely feeling that today-thanks a lot! :( Curious as to your thoughts about skin pinching versus holding taught.
On to fun topics, Dh and I had a little getaway last week to Vegas. It is funny, I would NEVER choose Vegas given the option, but I always have a good time. Dh had to go there for work and so I tagged along. We had an amazing hotel, oh my gosh (Ar.ia in the new City Cen.ter-paid for by his work)! A remote control worked the tv, lighting, do not disturb sign, curtains…it was crazy. I enjoyed days by the pool while dh was at his conference during the day for two days plus we had the whole day the day we got in to bum around. Dh did want to play some blackjack, and so we were able to find a few good alternatives to dark and smoky casinos. We especially enjoyed Harrah’s outside where the dj was good and we could sing along and enjoy the 75 degree weather (at night). Perfect. And we saw “O” which is absolutely incredible. It is the Cirque d’ Solei water show and it featured 9 former Olympians (divers, synchronized swimmers, and gymnasts). It was right up my alley (I don’t get into the other shows as much) and dh enjoyed it as well. And there was plenty of good food to be had the whole trip-I have a weak spot for Smit.h and Wolens.ky’s and envy those of you that live in Chicago. We don’t have one here, not that I could afford it more often! I wish I had pictures other than the hotel (the remote control is on the left side table), lol, but I didn’t take my camera around much and I have none of dh and I :(
It was also nice that Charlie did so well with my in laws, that went a long way toward us relaxing; they kept him on schedule and he slept great, which is probably why they were amazed at such a good boy he was. Sleep is imperative for that! They live 3 hrs away and I could tell they had a whole new bond when we got back so that was great too. Dh and I needed some time for just us. It was only the 2nd time we have ever left him for more than a date night. The first was only about 30 hrs (a quick getaway to a nearby bed and breakfast).
Speaking of Charlie, I know I rarely talk about him here, but that guys just melts my heart daily. He language is growing, but it is still the things he says wrong that I love so much, like “wiwi” for kiwi now and “wawa” for water. He gives tight hugs and pats our backs and comes up for random leg hugs or arm pats before running off to play with his trucks. His summer sitter is a friend of mine (speech path with the summer off-I have the best sitters!) and she has a 2 ½ year old daughter. She led him all over the house yesterday by the hand and it was cracking me up seeing him be her willing follower. I need to post a video or two of that man in action. He does keep me humble though! The other day we hit the library for the first time by our house and he saw a huge stuffed dog. He ran over, mounted it, and started “vigorously” riding it screaming “go horsie go” and other things I couldn’t make out. Let’s just say we had all eyes on us! He is definitely full of personality.:) Here is a pic of another friends' daughter and him cheesing it up!
5.23.2010
The Holy Spirit in My Life
I love the Holy Spirit! It started with my crazy conversion at a Steubenville conference (click here and here to relive the craziness and learn the history of my blog name) when my friend, Sherri, calmed my nerves. She told me anything was possible with the help of the Holy Spirit (when I was struggling with how I was going to explain my conversion, and the fact that I was no longer going to engage in premarital se.x to my now dh). I said a lot of prayers to the Holy Spirit and we got through that difficult time a stronger and better couple.
Then (or maybe it was before-sorry, not sure), a speaker at my youth group talked about the key to happiness was to a say a prayer daily. It was the first I had heard of this Holy Spirit prayer, but for some reason I actually believed him and started praying faithfully (this from a person who had probably said 10 rosaries in my whole life!) Since then it has a been a mainstay in my life. During every fear, every everything, I turn to this prayer. Dh and I have prayed it together many time. I know I have recommended it to many of you, and though it is on the front page of my blog, I am posting it again here.
Holy Spirit, Beloved of my soul, I adore you. Enlighten me. Guide me. Strengthen me. Console me. Tell me what I should do. I promise to accept all that you deisre of me and accept all you permit to happe to me. Let me only know your will. Amen
For Mother's Day, I received a necklace that has a beautiful dove on it to represent the Holy Spirit. You see, with my last pregnancy, I wore a miraculous medal given to me by a priest that prayed we'd get pregnant (to St. Rita, and then we immediately did get pregnant). I decided at the end of the pregnancy to take it off and give it to my son. It is tucked safely away for now until he is older. As a result, I had been wondering what necklace to wear during this pregnancy for this baby. I liked the idea of this tradition. When I saw the Holy Spirit necklace at our local Catholic store, I knew it was the one. I told dh I had found the one and he said he really wanted to get it to me for Mother's Day, thought it was fitting. :)
When I heard about the Holy Spirit novena, I was thrilled. I knew I wanted to participate. And now today, on Pentecost, I was able to have our priest say a special blessing over the necklace. How cool is that?!
Then (or maybe it was before-sorry, not sure), a speaker at my youth group talked about the key to happiness was to a say a prayer daily. It was the first I had heard of this Holy Spirit prayer, but for some reason I actually believed him and started praying faithfully (this from a person who had probably said 10 rosaries in my whole life!) Since then it has a been a mainstay in my life. During every fear, every everything, I turn to this prayer. Dh and I have prayed it together many time. I know I have recommended it to many of you, and though it is on the front page of my blog, I am posting it again here.
Holy Spirit, Beloved of my soul, I adore you. Enlighten me. Guide me. Strengthen me. Console me. Tell me what I should do. I promise to accept all that you deisre of me and accept all you permit to happe to me. Let me only know your will. Amen
For Mother's Day, I received a necklace that has a beautiful dove on it to represent the Holy Spirit. You see, with my last pregnancy, I wore a miraculous medal given to me by a priest that prayed we'd get pregnant (to St. Rita, and then we immediately did get pregnant). I decided at the end of the pregnancy to take it off and give it to my son. It is tucked safely away for now until he is older. As a result, I had been wondering what necklace to wear during this pregnancy for this baby. I liked the idea of this tradition. When I saw the Holy Spirit necklace at our local Catholic store, I knew it was the one. I told dh I had found the one and he said he really wanted to get it to me for Mother's Day, thought it was fitting. :)
When I heard about the Holy Spirit novena, I was thrilled. I knew I wanted to participate. And now today, on Pentecost, I was able to have our priest say a special blessing over the necklace. How cool is that?!
5.13.2010
Grateful to a Dear Friend and Blog Giveaway
Today I received a very thoughtful package in the mail. A dear friend, the one who lost her baby at 10 weeks, was kind enough to be thinking of others despite her grief. This is so like her! She has gifted me her progesterone in oil that was leftover from her pregnancy. It is a higher concentration than what I get currently, so I only have to take half the dose. My hiney and I are so grateful!
I want to return the favor and do a blog giveaway for 4 vials of my progesterone (equivalent to the two she gifted me). My progesterone in sesame oil is concentrated at 50mg/ml (rather than the 100mg/mL) that Dr. Hilgers recommends. (This is because my insurance covers it 100% this way and they do not cover compounded medication). Anyone can enter this giveaway by leaving a comment to tell me you are "in" by Friday, May 21st at 5pm (CST). Those that are paying out of pocket for progesterone, if any, should note it in the comment box and they will be given priority. And this is only for folks who have a valid progesterone in oil script-I am not supporting anyone's self medicating! That only seems fair; I hope you all agree :)
I want to return the favor and do a blog giveaway for 4 vials of my progesterone (equivalent to the two she gifted me). My progesterone in sesame oil is concentrated at 50mg/ml (rather than the 100mg/mL) that Dr. Hilgers recommends. (This is because my insurance covers it 100% this way and they do not cover compounded medication). Anyone can enter this giveaway by leaving a comment to tell me you are "in" by Friday, May 21st at 5pm (CST). Those that are paying out of pocket for progesterone, if any, should note it in the comment box and they will be given priority. And this is only for folks who have a valid progesterone in oil script-I am not supporting anyone's self medicating! That only seems fair; I hope you all agree :)
5.11.2010
A Great Day at the Lab
Today dh had a little peak into my world, and it was actually a very good day in IF world! I asked him to come with me for my blood draw. I go every two weeks, and usually try to go before he gets home from work, but we were having a home phone installed this afternoon and there wasn't time. I didn't want to leave as soon as he got home and miss out on Charlie's awake time, and I really didn't want to do it when Charlie went to bed. Dh agreed.
We drove 15 min to the hospital and I ran in while dh and Charlie waited in the car (hospital germs!). No one was waiting, and I was greated by a very friendly face. I have seen this receptionist several times since my pregnancy and last time we talked about my son, who was with me. She asked about him and I was open. She immediately shared her faith with me and told me what a blessing he was. Today when I walked in, I was greated with "how is Charlie?" and a smile. Isn't that the nicest thing? I am so bad with names and two weeks later she recalled his. Wow. And it got better.
Unfortunately the lab seems to have quick turnover. I have yet to see anyone since I had Charlie that was there when I was pregnant with him. But today that changed. She called my name before she even turned the corner, said she saw my name in her system and couldn't believe it was me. She had drawn my blood a ton during my pregnancy (and no, I didn't recall her name because I am so awful!) and she had shared with me back then her own IF (she went into menopause way early like her mom). The best part was when she turned to the receptionist and said, I had a part in that little guy! I could see her heart swelling with pride, and I agreed. It took a village to get Charlie here, and she was one of those people that makes life (and the lab) so much nicer. She was eager to look at pics of Charlie and couldn't believe how fast the time had gone. I guess she is manager there now. I can't believe I hadn't seen her before. I brought Charlie and Craig in with me after we had eaten dinner (the blood takes 45 min to process and I take the serum with me to mail it).
I was glad dh got to see how much love we are surrounded by that he doesn't even know about. It made me think about how I really need to bake these people some cookies and send them a nice card. Maybe I will even stop in on the way out with my newborn this fall (God willing!)-last time I didn't deliver at this hospital, but this time I will. The lab was so much better to do this as a family. It was even fun to show dh how I have systematized everything and had the package in the mail before we even left the hospital. My dh appreciates efficiancy! lol
Please say a prayer for the lab manager, Kristin. I asked how she was doing and just got a shoulder shrug for her. And I will be praying that all of you have a Kristin in your life, at the lab or somewhere close, that makes the IF journey that much easier. (also, search "lab" for more lab tricks to make life easier-I have a whole post about it!
P.S. My ultrasound/appt was supposed to be today, but got moved to Thursday. Also, the draw was for progesterone again, so hopefully it will keep climbing so I can stay on the smaller shot dose.
We drove 15 min to the hospital and I ran in while dh and Charlie waited in the car (hospital germs!). No one was waiting, and I was greated by a very friendly face. I have seen this receptionist several times since my pregnancy and last time we talked about my son, who was with me. She asked about him and I was open. She immediately shared her faith with me and told me what a blessing he was. Today when I walked in, I was greated with "how is Charlie?" and a smile. Isn't that the nicest thing? I am so bad with names and two weeks later she recalled his. Wow. And it got better.
Unfortunately the lab seems to have quick turnover. I have yet to see anyone since I had Charlie that was there when I was pregnant with him. But today that changed. She called my name before she even turned the corner, said she saw my name in her system and couldn't believe it was me. She had drawn my blood a ton during my pregnancy (and no, I didn't recall her name because I am so awful!) and she had shared with me back then her own IF (she went into menopause way early like her mom). The best part was when she turned to the receptionist and said, I had a part in that little guy! I could see her heart swelling with pride, and I agreed. It took a village to get Charlie here, and she was one of those people that makes life (and the lab) so much nicer. She was eager to look at pics of Charlie and couldn't believe how fast the time had gone. I guess she is manager there now. I can't believe I hadn't seen her before. I brought Charlie and Craig in with me after we had eaten dinner (the blood takes 45 min to process and I take the serum with me to mail it).
I was glad dh got to see how much love we are surrounded by that he doesn't even know about. It made me think about how I really need to bake these people some cookies and send them a nice card. Maybe I will even stop in on the way out with my newborn this fall (God willing!)-last time I didn't deliver at this hospital, but this time I will. The lab was so much better to do this as a family. It was even fun to show dh how I have systematized everything and had the package in the mail before we even left the hospital. My dh appreciates efficiancy! lol
Please say a prayer for the lab manager, Kristin. I asked how she was doing and just got a shoulder shrug for her. And I will be praying that all of you have a Kristin in your life, at the lab or somewhere close, that makes the IF journey that much easier. (also, search "lab" for more lab tricks to make life easier-I have a whole post about it!
P.S. My ultrasound/appt was supposed to be today, but got moved to Thursday. Also, the draw was for progesterone again, so hopefully it will keep climbing so I can stay on the smaller shot dose.
5.10.2010
Dun.der Miffl.in
Since things are slow around here (post worthy items anyway), just thought I would start a little side series called "Dun.der Miff.lin". This is what dh calls my work. (Carrie, I will seriously hunt you down if you share this! And I mean that in the most loving way possible!) Here is why-Introducing Mary, Willy, Bonnie, and Jonas (and a few other players that may make a later appearance).
Mary is an assistant for a technologically challenged brilliant man (my boss) that also is extremely forgetful (Willy). She does all his typing/computer work. He edits via paper. Problem is, Mary doesn’t know computers herself. Mary repeatedly sends items with no subject line, making it difficult for her and us to search emails. Maybe that was the problem in example three. Mary also has sent out professional documents with the title “RECOVERED”?! I spend most of my time resending Mary emails she sent me and then can’t find and asks me to send back. Or a lot of time is spent asking Mary for something she doesn’t recall or can’t find. Then I have to reminder her of it. Then she claims to have never been involved. Then I finally find it and show her involvement.
Bonnie is the account manager for several large grants. Bonnie has the habit of telling people that we are running out of money and making everyone fear for their job unnecessarily. Bonnie also hoards money to protect us and those she cares about. Bonnie has let $80,000 go unspent on a grant. It expired. The money had to be given back. That looked bad.
These are the three people I interact with in the office and quite often via email. The other person I interact with is Jonas. Jonas knows nothing about my job, but often tells me how to do it. Jonas expects others to be anal (though isn’t himself) and Mary drives him nuts. He has been working on her about subject lines. He actually has asked me to footnote all our documents and page number them so they don’t get out of order when he prints. Yet he keeps his calendar and to do list on a notecard in his pocket. And when I asked him where he comes up with the numbers for the budget (for example, how many days did you plan on the summer training being or how much did you estimate rental cars to be), Willy doesn’t really know and tells me it was a “rough estimate.” Hmm. Thankfully, I work from home most days!
I should also note that I work with three amazing women, two of which I barely ever see, and then two students (one is a shadow and the other is busy tooting her own horn and backstabbing on most days). Let’s call them Abby and Hilary. As a sidenote, with the exception of Hilary they are all incredibly nice well-meaning people. Infuriating sometimes, but very well-meaning!
I have compiled several past examples. I hope in my hurriedness you can still get the main message.
Example one (occurred via email):
Samantha-Please send us updated scores for X school.
Me-Mary, do you have these? I do not.
Mary-(sends scores)
Me-Wow, I really wasn’t sure that that school had updated scores. It wasn’t on the list I was given. Any others I should know about? (communication is horrible, that part is not mary’s fault)
Mary-She wasn’t asking for the ones that changed was she? I just sent what I had and wasn’t looking for changes.
Me-Yes she was. She asked for “updated scores”. And you sent her one set that was old for that school and one set that was new. So you did send her what she was asking for (along with a little extra-I don't mention that out loud). (Mind you, I am thinking, omg, read the freakin’ email first off, secondly, really read it before you send something, and thirdly, you sent her the right thing and didn’t even know it. Geez!)
Example two:
I send Mary the report in sections-goal one, goal two etc are separate documents. Mary evidently saves them on her desktop only. Mary informs me she can’t remember which ones he has seen and approved or not. I can't remember the details, but during that conversation I am compelled to ask Mary if she is saving them as “namefinal” or something similar. No. She shows me her strategy. She is moving the desktop icon from the left side of the screen to the right side of the screen once he approves the sections. Um, seriously?! Blind leading the blind.
Example three:
Mary asks for availability. Everyone gives it to her via email by date. Everyone signs in a different color on the same document. Mary does the date. The date needs to change due to circumstances outside everyone’s control. Mary asks everyone to resend their availability. Evidently she can’t search received emails?! I mean, our deleted emails are even held on to FOREVER!
Example four:
Everyone is working on a grant. Mary sends out a section evidently to many different folks for their input. At the same time. No, we aren’t talking google docs here. We are talking email attachment. The document name? “Narrative_use this one”. Hmmm. Sound like a disaster waiting to happen?! Well it did.
Example five:
Bonnie tells me my student funding will end in May, despite me no longer graduating in May. I tell Bonnie I am graduating in the fall, but can’t I continue at least until August when the new students come on? That makes sense because they will pick up when I end. I realize the new students need the money I am using and have had long enough, but really do I need to end months before they begin? The money will just sit going to noone over the summer. Bonnie says no. She is concerned my service obligation is too big. That is not for Bonnie to worry about. I get an email a month later when I ask for my exact end date. It is August. I ask Bonnie why August now and not May-did something change? She says no, she asked my boss repeatedly and asked me repeatedly for an end date and no one would get back to her (huh?!) and so she chose an end date of Aug. Is that okay with me? Yes, Bonnie, that is fine with me. Do I work in the twilight zone?
Example six:
Willy sends me an email. Please fill this out and return. It is for a spring graduation. This is in March. Yet, I have not proposed my dissertation. To graduate in the spring it would have had to have been proposed (via large meeting that includes Willy there), worked on for months and months, and then defended (via large meeting that includes Willy there) by April. I tell Willy I am not graduating in the spring. This is news to him. He is actually quite shocked and upset this is news to him. Yes, I guess I should have blantantly spelled it out, but I kind of thought the emails regarding the illness and the lack of progress or meetings on his calendar might tell him something.
There is more, so much more. And now that you have the main players down, I will let you know as they continue their nutty behavior. Not only will this give a good laugh and make you appreciate your work, but I have noticed that I need another sane person to hear the situation and agree it is absurd. Becasue if I hang out with looney folks long enough, I may just start thinking the sky is green and the grass is blue-just because they say it so often! Did I mention how nice they are? (They are, but I am clearly feeling a little guilty for this).
Mary is an assistant for a technologically challenged brilliant man (my boss) that also is extremely forgetful (Willy). She does all his typing/computer work. He edits via paper. Problem is, Mary doesn’t know computers herself. Mary repeatedly sends items with no subject line, making it difficult for her and us to search emails. Maybe that was the problem in example three. Mary also has sent out professional documents with the title “RECOVERED”?! I spend most of my time resending Mary emails she sent me and then can’t find and asks me to send back. Or a lot of time is spent asking Mary for something she doesn’t recall or can’t find. Then I have to reminder her of it. Then she claims to have never been involved. Then I finally find it and show her involvement.
Bonnie is the account manager for several large grants. Bonnie has the habit of telling people that we are running out of money and making everyone fear for their job unnecessarily. Bonnie also hoards money to protect us and those she cares about. Bonnie has let $80,000 go unspent on a grant. It expired. The money had to be given back. That looked bad.
These are the three people I interact with in the office and quite often via email. The other person I interact with is Jonas. Jonas knows nothing about my job, but often tells me how to do it. Jonas expects others to be anal (though isn’t himself) and Mary drives him nuts. He has been working on her about subject lines. He actually has asked me to footnote all our documents and page number them so they don’t get out of order when he prints. Yet he keeps his calendar and to do list on a notecard in his pocket. And when I asked him where he comes up with the numbers for the budget (for example, how many days did you plan on the summer training being or how much did you estimate rental cars to be), Willy doesn’t really know and tells me it was a “rough estimate.” Hmm. Thankfully, I work from home most days!
I should also note that I work with three amazing women, two of which I barely ever see, and then two students (one is a shadow and the other is busy tooting her own horn and backstabbing on most days). Let’s call them Abby and Hilary. As a sidenote, with the exception of Hilary they are all incredibly nice well-meaning people. Infuriating sometimes, but very well-meaning!
I have compiled several past examples. I hope in my hurriedness you can still get the main message.
Example one (occurred via email):
Samantha-Please send us updated scores for X school.
Me-Mary, do you have these? I do not.
Mary-(sends scores)
Me-Wow, I really wasn’t sure that that school had updated scores. It wasn’t on the list I was given. Any others I should know about? (communication is horrible, that part is not mary’s fault)
Mary-She wasn’t asking for the ones that changed was she? I just sent what I had and wasn’t looking for changes.
Me-Yes she was. She asked for “updated scores”. And you sent her one set that was old for that school and one set that was new. So you did send her what she was asking for (along with a little extra-I don't mention that out loud). (Mind you, I am thinking, omg, read the freakin’ email first off, secondly, really read it before you send something, and thirdly, you sent her the right thing and didn’t even know it. Geez!)
Example two:
I send Mary the report in sections-goal one, goal two etc are separate documents. Mary evidently saves them on her desktop only. Mary informs me she can’t remember which ones he has seen and approved or not. I can't remember the details, but during that conversation I am compelled to ask Mary if she is saving them as “namefinal” or something similar. No. She shows me her strategy. She is moving the desktop icon from the left side of the screen to the right side of the screen once he approves the sections. Um, seriously?! Blind leading the blind.
Example three:
Mary asks for availability. Everyone gives it to her via email by date. Everyone signs in a different color on the same document. Mary does the date. The date needs to change due to circumstances outside everyone’s control. Mary asks everyone to resend their availability. Evidently she can’t search received emails?! I mean, our deleted emails are even held on to FOREVER!
Example four:
Everyone is working on a grant. Mary sends out a section evidently to many different folks for their input. At the same time. No, we aren’t talking google docs here. We are talking email attachment. The document name? “Narrative_use this one”. Hmmm. Sound like a disaster waiting to happen?! Well it did.
Example five:
Bonnie tells me my student funding will end in May, despite me no longer graduating in May. I tell Bonnie I am graduating in the fall, but can’t I continue at least until August when the new students come on? That makes sense because they will pick up when I end. I realize the new students need the money I am using and have had long enough, but really do I need to end months before they begin? The money will just sit going to noone over the summer. Bonnie says no. She is concerned my service obligation is too big. That is not for Bonnie to worry about. I get an email a month later when I ask for my exact end date. It is August. I ask Bonnie why August now and not May-did something change? She says no, she asked my boss repeatedly and asked me repeatedly for an end date and no one would get back to her (huh?!) and so she chose an end date of Aug. Is that okay with me? Yes, Bonnie, that is fine with me. Do I work in the twilight zone?
Example six:
Willy sends me an email. Please fill this out and return. It is for a spring graduation. This is in March. Yet, I have not proposed my dissertation. To graduate in the spring it would have had to have been proposed (via large meeting that includes Willy there), worked on for months and months, and then defended (via large meeting that includes Willy there) by April. I tell Willy I am not graduating in the spring. This is news to him. He is actually quite shocked and upset this is news to him. Yes, I guess I should have blantantly spelled it out, but I kind of thought the emails regarding the illness and the lack of progress or meetings on his calendar might tell him something.
There is more, so much more. And now that you have the main players down, I will let you know as they continue their nutty behavior. Not only will this give a good laugh and make you appreciate your work, but I have noticed that I need another sane person to hear the situation and agree it is absurd. Becasue if I hang out with looney folks long enough, I may just start thinking the sky is green and the grass is blue-just because they say it so often! Did I mention how nice they are? (They are, but I am clearly feeling a little guilty for this).
5.08.2010
Happy Mother's Day to Bloggers!
Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful bloggers-moms of all children (adopted, saints, biological, and/or fur babies!) and those that want so badly to be moms! You are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you get the honor you so deserve on this special day!
5.06.2010
Just for Fun-Boys Are Fun to Dress Too!
I realized after this photo, how I feel like I look much bigger than I actually look. Two poses to demonstrate.
See what I mean?
and a just for fun post for Jeremiah (ha, you are probably way to busy to read this!) and others...I may not be the girliest girl, but I constantly have heard over and over how much fun girls are to dress. Well, I happen to think it is tons of fun to dress up my little boy, so I just had to share just a few of his cute ensembles as examples. By the way, I am too cheap to spend much on his clothes. What he wears comes from Old Nav.y (only sales), G.ap Outl.et (only clearance), Koh.l's (sales) and Ta.rget. Oh, and a fabulous find is that Sam's club and Cost.co-they have Carter's outfit sets for $6-$8 and you he's wearing them in the last 2 pics! The last pic was yesterday and I just couldn't stop begging him for kisses and hugs he looked so stinkin' cute, but that isn't different from any other day!
5.02.2010
The Nothing New Update
I can't believe I have gone this long without posting, but what can I say? There is nothing to say really. but somehow, I am pretty sure I will find something to blog about...haha!
There was a tiny scare. I didn't get overly worried, but I think I started a post and then quit and never got back to it. What happened was lots of sharp pains that were over a few days. Pain alone doesn't bother me, knowing lots is going on, but then I realized in the shower lymph nodes in my groin area were huge and tender. Ut oh. My mind went to infection. I emailed Dr. Toth and asked if I should start the orals earlier than the scheduled May 12th. And called my doctor. Dr. Toth said it was around the time that corpus luteum was absorbed and that could cause is. My doc said could be a viral infection coming on. Turns out the next day I got a miserable horrible cold that started with a sore throat and moved to coughing junk and then face full of snot. Good times. Hoping the baby and dh don't get it.
I should tell you my progesterone went up for the second time in a row-woohoo! This time it seemed relatively substantial (10 points maybe?! still not where it started-so odd) but I can't tell you exactly because like everything in my life it is scribbled lightly on some post it that probably also contains a half written grocery list. They did let me half my progesterone. I am 13 weeks today so maybe the placenta is doing what is should? It didn't last time. One thing is for sure, I am grateful to be this far along. And, the exhaustion is no longer daily, but I still get sick if I don't eat pretty often. That will pass, but I will trade for new symptoms I am sure. Like heartburn. :)
I went to a lovely baby shower Saturday of a dear friend. She had been trying to get pregnant ever since she got married (June '08) and I couldn't be happier for her. At her shower, she said some nice things about how hard it was to get there and how the odds were against her and how she appreciated it all so much more. It reminded me...when I was trying to get pregnant, I would often picture myself at my own baby shower. The thought would overwhelm me and I would literally cry (IRL) tears of joy imagining finally getting to that moment. This happened multiple times, every time I thought about it. I thought I would be a wreck on the day, full of tears, but I really wasn't. I gave a similar speech and glowed, but really not the tears like when I pictured it. I always thought that was interesting.
I have been busy working on my dissertation and things are going relatively well for once. It seems that it has slightly changed (with big implications) so many times, but last time was great and needed and I am so happy wtih it. My passion is back, thankfully. This will get me through the rest of the work and frustration I am sure. I have almost written a post many times about how jacked up this process is, but I am not sure if it will help or make me dwell on it more. Now that I am at a better place, maybe best not to relive that.
So that is it for now. Oh, one more thing, I also want to tell you my best friend that returned from a huge long trip to Peru (months!) is now in Costa Rica for a long time (my pregnancy brain can't remember her return date-but it was like 6-8 weeks). She is so adventurous and brave. She researches and saves and then goes alone, but meets people along the way and knows people there. She does mostly off the beaten track things. She is a runner and very athetic. In Peru she climbed mountains, volcanoes, canyons, hiked to Mayan Ruins, and did a ton of amazing things. Variation Under Nature is her wordpress blog. She is living singleness to the fullest. I hope that she lives that way when she is married without kids yet too-I live vicariously :)
There was a tiny scare. I didn't get overly worried, but I think I started a post and then quit and never got back to it. What happened was lots of sharp pains that were over a few days. Pain alone doesn't bother me, knowing lots is going on, but then I realized in the shower lymph nodes in my groin area were huge and tender. Ut oh. My mind went to infection. I emailed Dr. Toth and asked if I should start the orals earlier than the scheduled May 12th. And called my doctor. Dr. Toth said it was around the time that corpus luteum was absorbed and that could cause is. My doc said could be a viral infection coming on. Turns out the next day I got a miserable horrible cold that started with a sore throat and moved to coughing junk and then face full of snot. Good times. Hoping the baby and dh don't get it.
I should tell you my progesterone went up for the second time in a row-woohoo! This time it seemed relatively substantial (10 points maybe?! still not where it started-so odd) but I can't tell you exactly because like everything in my life it is scribbled lightly on some post it that probably also contains a half written grocery list. They did let me half my progesterone. I am 13 weeks today so maybe the placenta is doing what is should? It didn't last time. One thing is for sure, I am grateful to be this far along. And, the exhaustion is no longer daily, but I still get sick if I don't eat pretty often. That will pass, but I will trade for new symptoms I am sure. Like heartburn. :)
I went to a lovely baby shower Saturday of a dear friend. She had been trying to get pregnant ever since she got married (June '08) and I couldn't be happier for her. At her shower, she said some nice things about how hard it was to get there and how the odds were against her and how she appreciated it all so much more. It reminded me...when I was trying to get pregnant, I would often picture myself at my own baby shower. The thought would overwhelm me and I would literally cry (IRL) tears of joy imagining finally getting to that moment. This happened multiple times, every time I thought about it. I thought I would be a wreck on the day, full of tears, but I really wasn't. I gave a similar speech and glowed, but really not the tears like when I pictured it. I always thought that was interesting.
I have been busy working on my dissertation and things are going relatively well for once. It seems that it has slightly changed (with big implications) so many times, but last time was great and needed and I am so happy wtih it. My passion is back, thankfully. This will get me through the rest of the work and frustration I am sure. I have almost written a post many times about how jacked up this process is, but I am not sure if it will help or make me dwell on it more. Now that I am at a better place, maybe best not to relive that.
So that is it for now. Oh, one more thing, I also want to tell you my best friend that returned from a huge long trip to Peru (months!) is now in Costa Rica for a long time (my pregnancy brain can't remember her return date-but it was like 6-8 weeks). She is so adventurous and brave. She researches and saves and then goes alone, but meets people along the way and knows people there. She does mostly off the beaten track things. She is a runner and very athetic. In Peru she climbed mountains, volcanoes, canyons, hiked to Mayan Ruins, and did a ton of amazing things. Variation Under Nature is her wordpress blog. She is living singleness to the fullest. I hope that she lives that way when she is married without kids yet too-I live vicariously :)
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