1.31.2010

Going up the first hill of the rollercoaster :)

There has been waiting.  Lots.  And anticipation.  And now...it's here.  This is the fourth cycle since I have had my son (I am on CD 4), and we have been given the green light to ttc.  My son will be 16 months very soon.  He is a wonderful gift, and our time not ttc has been a gift as well.  But dh and I were open to trying very soon after he was born and it just wasn't in the plan.  As a result, in some ways there has been this growing anticipation.  I feel like, since about November, I have been on the sidelines watching and I have just been picked to participate too! 

On one hand, conceiving  this first cycle trying may seem unlikely.  I mean, an infertile like myself after all it took the first time?  (and I am not talking time, because that isn't an adequate description of the heartache and uncertainty, etc)  On the other hand, I am very hopeful because the cycle before I was medicated looked okay and the past cycle was medicated and looked great.  I mean, dare I think that maybe the secret combination from before still applies?!  No new diagnosis to uncover, etc?!  Isn't that every IFers dream?  And with Napro I figure I have the same 3 cycle window they refer to in the intro sessions.  If it doesn't happen for us in that time, we better start doing our detective work again!  (in addition to the monthly draws and cycle reviews).

I have been counting the days, as one does when they are waiting and don't have anything better to do, and for a few months now I have been thinking that our ttc green light might occur...around Valentine's day.  That still looks entirely possibly.  This is incredibly exciting to me for 3 reasons.  First, the obvious-Valentine's day is about love, and conceiving a child is first and foremost about a married couple expressing their love for each other.  Second, my husband proposed to me when we were celebrating Valentine's day.  Please see here for that very fun story!  Third, a successful pregnancy would mean another fall birth and wouldn't it be nice to have a boy and put all these clothes to use again?!  And it would work out nice for maternity clothes too.  Okay, that is clearly the least important.

7 comments:

Second Chances said...

I am hopeful for you!!! Yay, Valentine's Day!

Sissy said...

I do love the big Valentine's Day, and my husband is really pretty good with little surprises. Here's hoping that it's a good cycle for you.

Leila said...

Praying, praying, praying!!!

Mrs. Mike said...

I'm hopeful for you! And hey--we got engaged on V-day too!

Alisha said...

Yeah! Green Light!

I like the song! Is that new to your blog?

Jill said...

Good luck! You know I'll be praying for you!

K and T said...

Hey there :)
I'm having challenges this morning..... I can't get to your email address, I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. Here is mine:
travisx2@gmail.com
:)
K.