Too much time alone tonight...

Sleep deprived and home alone, I made the mistake of diving into the internet to research hcg levels. The charts are worthless, incredibly broad. I wanted to know, specifically, at what point do the levels slow. I think my level is too early, but I am trying to be more hopeful here!

According to this article http://miscarriage.about.com/od/checkinghcglevels/f/hcgdoubling.htm
hcg is supposed to slow after 6 or 7 weeks from your last period.
For me, it slowed at 6 weeks to the day, but I peaked later than 14 days that cycle and the first hcg was low indicating a later implantation.

I guess 15% of slower than normal rising hcgs do go on to have a baby at the end of 9 months, but they are still associated with signs of complications, even in these case

I also found this article that didn’t have great news: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/14664408?dopt=Abstract

And this fun fact…
"Slow-rising hCG. Unfortunately, even if your levels are rising, the failure to double every few days is not a good sign. This type of pregnancy can go on for several weeks, but will almost always end in miscarriage. A single set of tests that do not show a doubling can still be fine. Usually another set will be ordered if you are low or borderline."

Mainly what I had been going on previously is my own pregnancies. I had one pregnancy (Michael) healthy for the beginning and slowly go downhill; another baby (Gabby) that was unhealthy from the start (never doubled in the first draw even), and then Charlie. This baby seems to resemble Michael, which absolutely gave me the most heartache.

M: 514 (16dpo), 1544 (18dpo), 3438 (20dpo), 5271 (24dpo), 5184 (26dpo),
C: 546 (15dpo), 1201 (17dpo), 1838 (19dpo-lab change),, 3365 (21dpo), 12708 (26dpo)
A: 207 (17dpo), 599 (19dpo), 1634 (21dpo), 3219 (23 dpo), 5247 (26dpo)

I am thinking of getting another level. But I am struggling with when it will give me the most information. Would it be 3 ½ days between draws like my last one to see if it went up the same percent or more? I mean, I don’t expect it to double in 48 or 72 anymore. I thought I would find comfort in the Wed ultrasound, but now I don’t. I mean, I really need to see a sac, but that should be a given. But it is unlikely that I will see a heartbeat, so it would be the following ultrasound that will really give me peace. Until then I am left doing betas, I guess, if I want.
My IV was my lifeline before, but now I can’t help but glare at it and think “if you aren’t making my baby healthier, what good are you?” It’s like carrying around a purse 24/7. lol. At some point you want to take off your coat, put it down and stay awhile!


Kaitlin said...

I will be praying so hard!! I can't offer any advice, as I've never gone through this before. I will just pray, pray, and pray some more.

Second Chances said...

Yes, I'm praying too. I hope you can find some peace in these next few days. I know that's probably impossible, but remember, "God's baby, God's will". Trust Him and know that you are surrounded by prayer.

Ann - Building a Nest said...

J, I am so sorry and I know you must be making yourself sick with worry.

I did not read your article links, but I was told by my RE that the HCG usually slows at 6 weeks and because of that and the fact that there is usually a heartbeat at 6 weeks, they no longer rely on the betas for determining a healthy pregnancy, but instead rely more on ultrasounds.

I’m praying for you. A worried, sleep deprived mamma and Dr. Google do not make a good mix.

Sissy said...

Get off the internet!!! It will only make you crazy, as I well know.

By the way, I always have my volume down on my computer when I blog, but my husband turned it up for some reason and today is the first time I am hearing the song you have. I love this song!!! It so completely expresses how I feel. I needed it this morning.

I guess you need it too. Love you.

Jill said...

The internet always has the scariest info on it! Wednesday can't get here fast enough. We said a Novena to St. Anne for you and the baby yesterday!

Let me know how things go and you know I am always here if you need to talk. I totally understand the sick feeling you have in your tummy right now!

Joy Beyond the Cross said...

I agree with Sissy about staying away from the internet! (I know much, much easier said than done and I would most likely be doing the same exact thing). But just know that whatever happens we are here for you. You are in our prayers and will be supporting you during this pregnancy, we are in it for the long haul! Wed is the feast of St. Patrick, may he intercede for you and protect you from all fear and anxiety. God Bless!

Louis and Amber Massett said...

Oh please stop going on line! You're torturing yourself with all this information!!! Also, every pregnancy is SO different. Maybe (just a suggestion) take a break from comparing numbers/ results. It sounds like your only stressing yourself out. My HCG stopped doubling right at 6 weeks too. I pray you find some peace of mind with the ultra-sound. It just breaks my heart for you to see you so worried! Totally understandable after all you have gone through...but God willing this will be a healthy joyful pregnancy. I am praying for you!!!!!!! Xo, amber

the misfit said...

Wicked internet. I haven't been there and so I can't imagine how difficult it must be not to worry. But you mustn't! You are doing EVERYTHING you can and the baby will be healthy! You'll see! You're in my prayers.

alliemich said...

o bless your heart and STOP THE CRACK DEALER GOOGLE! i have made myself crazy more than reassured on countess searches during my pregnancies. SAY NO TO CRACK GOOGLE, PLEASE.

Fertile Thoughts said...

Just checking in on you Sweetie! How are you holding up? If I am dying over here to see how you're doing then I can't imagine how you're feeling waiting for answers. I am praying for you and baby hoping and begging God that all is going well. Much love,