Progesterone, Infections, and Dissertation

Thanks again for prayers for my friend.  I updated everyone in the comments, so be sure to check there if you haven't already.  Warning-this is sort of an all over the place post.

First a pregnancy update.  All is going relatively well.  My prog is being a bit of a downer though.  Literally.  P+8 was 24.5 so I stayed on the 200mg dose of poi until I found out the next level; P+17 was 38.8 (high zone 3) so I went down to the 100 mg dose; 30 dpo was 22.4 (high zone 2) so I went back to 200mg dose; and 44po was 20.6 (mid zone 2) so staying on the 200 mg dose.  I am not worried.  I am annoyed. Lol.  I would like it to be higher.

My friend's loss makes me face something about my own dx since we are similar.  Though her infection is multi generation and mine isn't necessarily and is arguably not as severe, it is important to realize that each time we ttc and each time we get pregnant, we are bringing out the big guns to suppress the infection.  Though needed, at some point the abs will no longer work, the infection will be resistant and will no longer surpress. This is what has happened to her.  I am grateful for the abx during pregnancy.  I know that abx to get pregnant doesn't ensure a healthy pregnancy or a lasting one, just improves the odds.  I was afraid when I first did orals it would be enough to get pregnant and not stay pregnant, but they worked fine.  But the next time the same amt may not work. So I am glad we are doing orals during pregnancy this time.  But what next time.  At some point the "luck" will run out.  That is a sobering thought.

Okay, now on a totally different note, I have to recommend a book.  I have read it before and am rereading it with dh now.  The Good News about Se.x and Marri.age by Christo.pher Wes.t is amazing.  I know some of you have rock star Catholic hubbies and that is great.  But mine is not familiar with the Theol.ogy of the Bo.dy teaching and it is important he learns for many reasons.  We have been cuddling up each night and reading together and I can't express the closeness it is bringing to our marriage.  It is like a light has turned on for him and he is totally getting it.  Before, indoctrinated in the world's view of se.x, this book has a completely different and amazing take.  It will make your marriage better.  No question.  And it is a totally easy read.

Prayer request for me.  I am on the computer.  Instead of working.  I need to refocus.  I need to get my dissertation done.  I like tangible results and this process continues to be void of any.  I can never see progress, it is hard to even have little goals be successful.  Example, my advisor and I came up with a timeline to get done before the baby.  I was excited.  Advisor thought it was doable.  What do I know?!  I believed him.  I sent the timeline to another committee member, who nicely told me it was completely unreasonable and basically I could maybe get done in Dec.  The baby is due in November.  I was crushed.  I keep finding it so hard to recover from these blows.  They just come one right after another.  I just want to taste success.  Achievement.  It is my personality, I guess.  But this process, it seems to allude me.  Ugh.  I am going to really try to buckle down today.  And every day. Until the baby comes, but after avoidance for this long...needing prayers.  It is so hard to be focused at home working.  When I am hungry and tired and nauseated and not motivated.  But I have childcare, must make the most of it.  Sorry I keep asking, but I am so grateful for the prayers!