7.29.2010

Update and Horrible Situation

Thank you all for the lively discussion on my last post.  I enjoy reading the comments and thoughts, so please keep them coming!

I am doing well.  The baby is growing and growing.  Oh my!  Crossing my legs is difficult.  Seriously.  Bending over the crib for my son is...impossible.  When I merely lean forward the baby kicks like I am invading his/her space.  My son's pediatrician said yesterday "when are you due? you are huge!"  lol  It doesn't bother me.  I am huge.  I am trying to find my camera to post some pics. 

It was funny, a few weeks ago my dh said to me "did you tell you were pregnant?"  I laughed and laughed telling him that there is no way the folks seeing me in person would doubt.  God love him!  He really is just used to seeing me for me!

It has been fun getting out the newborn clothes and washing them and putting them away.  We don't have as many gender neutral as I recalled, so many came to the rescue after he was born with gifts of clothing and a trip to Wal-Mart accomplished the rest.  I was thinking we didn't need much in newborn size with my son since they grow so fast.  But, between him losing weight before he gained, my mastitis that affected nursing and more weight loss, and the fact that they poop out those little diapers and soil their clothes OFTEN.  I recall washing every newborn outfit every day the first week until I went out and bought more!  My sister has girls born in similar seasons and so I know we will be fine.  I did, however, break down and buy a very sweet girl's outfit to take to the hospital with us, just in case.  Pictures coming!

Sleeping this past week was so difficult, but it is much better now.  Charlie had been a seven to seven sleeper-huge blessing-but his awake time kept getting earlier over the past month.  Well, part of it was we had started putting him down just little bits later and that makes such a difference with him!  Then last week, about 9 days ago actually, he started getting up in the night.  Not the ten min here or there and fuss and go back without assistance.  No-full on screams for an hr and inconsolable.  If it occurred to close to morning, then he was up-4am on some days.  Dh and I were dragging! 

I went through every possible reason and decided the reflux was to blame and he had grown out of his dose.  At the pediatrician we found out his ear tubes were blocked with wax, likely creating pressure similar to an ear infection.  Since my son can feel his toe nails grow, I am sure that is the case!  I was shocked and happy to have an obvious fixable reason.  We were prescribed ear drops.  We have now had 3 days (with one in between) of perfect night sleeping-7pm to 7am again.  It is glorious and I feel so much better!

Now for the horrible situation.  My dad is a sweet soul.  He is a helper by nature.  He likes to be needed.  Sadly, he doesn't know how smart or wonderful he is and no amount of convincing helps because it is something internal to him.  He suffers from depression among other things.  It rarely comes up these days as he is on good medication, but every once in awhile a situation arises where all those dark feelings of worthlessness in him rise to the top.  Yesterday was one of those days. 

We have all heard of internet schemes of folks who need money wired or are in some trouble in another country.  I have personally received five this year already.  Our priest mentioned them at mass, even, because he almost fell for one.  In that particular situation the person was out of the country so it seemed more logical.  Yesterday morning I received one such email from my cousin who lives in Jordon.  She is very close to my folks, perhaps closer to her own parents.  I recognized the email as spam and did forward it to her to let her know.  While I didn't want to be the millionth person telling her something she already knew, it was too important not to.  My email also said that since she is out of the country, it is more likely some folks will fall for this and please let people know.  Unfortunately she couldn't because she was locked out of her email and the addresses weren't all in her new account.  I didn't think to repy all and warn them myself.

My dad got the email.  He thought it was real, again it seemed plausible in her situation and he had never received something similar to know.  He took some special money he had saved and wired it to her.  He got a reply that she needed a bit more.  He sold some very special items to him at cents on the dollar to someone he knew would buy them to get the rest of the money and wired it to her again.  Then he called her husband later in the day to see how she was.  And he realized.  And while this hurt extra bad because of the parts sold, the money lost (over $3k), etc more than anything it hit his self-esteem.  He felt like the biggest idiot ever there was.  And not how you and I would feel it, but amplified.  He told my mother he wanted to die.  He said he was going to kill himself.  He didn't get out of bed.

To hear that your father said these things, I don't know how to explain it.  My heart aches for him so badly.  There is literally nothing I can do.  I am not even supposed to know, but I am debating talking to him if I think I can do more good than harm with him knowing I know.  My sister was able to help through my mom, by sharing something her husband fell for out of the country.  He is a very educated doctor and it seemed to make a difference to my dad and he perked up a little.  That was last night.  I haven't heard an update today.

Please, take the time to say a prayer for my dad.  We all make mistakes.  He won't be able to get the specialty items back that were dear to him, or the money, but he is not a material person.  What he needs back is his own self-worth.  He is so important to our family and so loved and respected, even if he doesn't know it.

19 comments:

Kaitlin @ More Like Mary said...

How sad-I'll say a prayer for him!

Megan said...

This is awful! I will definitely say a prayer for him and your family! It's hard to understand how someone could be so focused on money that they don't even give a thought to how their scam affects people.
I'm so glad that baby is doing well and you are getting more sleep! There was one point a few months ago where our 2 year old was sleeping so much worse than our 7 month old! I remember thinking, "this is not how it's supposed to be!" :)

Sarah said...

I just stopped over from Leila's blog... oh, your poor dad. But what a giving heart! My goodness... to do all that for someone he thought needed it! That's all I kept thinking when reading... what an incredible heart! I hope he feels better soon, that is tough.

mrsblondies said...

So sorry to hear about that; I'll definitely say a prayer for him.

I'm glad you and the baby are doing well and that you figure out what was going on with Charlie so that both you and he could get more sleep.

Cathy said...

Oh, your poor father!

He needs to realize he is NOT to blame and these people wouldn't do such things if there weren't lots and lots of people falling for them.

:(

I will say lots of prayers for him today. This breaks my heart.

(And so glad the little one is growing well!)

Awaiting a Child of God:) said...

Weird...I got the same email from a friend and I freaked out and had to find out it was a scam through my other friends. This just goes to show what a loving heart your daddy has. I will pray for him today.

I want to see pics of your belly!! So happy to hear Charlie is feeling better...what a relief!

iRejoice said...

I'm am so very sorry that happened.

A few months ago my husband's dear, sweet, (NOT rich) grandmother was similarly swindled by someone claiming to be my husband. When the truth came out she was just mortified, and we keep having to tell her that whoever did it was a pro and knew exactly what to say to pull on the heartstrings. What the bad guys did was horrible, but no one should be ashamed for having a generous and loving heart!

I'll keep your father in my prayers.

Leila @ Little Catholic Bubble said...

People who run these scams are evil. I am so sorry for your dad! I will pray for him.

I had the same type of email from a "friend" but I knew the friend was NOT in London as the email stated. She was so horrified at the breach of her email and privacy. So awful. Your dad is not at fault for having a big heart! Bless him.

prayerfuljourney said...

I've heard about those kind of scams. My parents don't own a computer but they do get calls and they always say "I don't do business over the phone. Send your request in the mail." And nothing ever comes. People like to prey on the older folk. It's sad. Like my dh recently asked..."Don't people believe in God anymore?" Scary. I will pray for your dad. I'd be pretty upset myself.

alliemich said...

Praying for your dad- bless his heart....

some how, some way, some day said...

I feel so bad for your dad! I work at a credit union and I see things like this all the time. He is not to blame. I don't know how people can be so heartless and cruel to swindle others. It is just wrong! I'll say a prayer for him!

Karen said...

I feel so sorry for your dad. I have gotten many of these emails. They frustrate me so much. My grandmother almost fell for one a few months back. Fortunately I was stopping by her house that day and she just happened to mention it. I'm sure if I wouldn't have she would have fell for it.

Depression runs rampid in my family. I know how hard it is to see a loved one like this. I will pray for your dad and for you and for the rest of your family. :)

the misfit said...

Has he contacted the police? Maybe helping to track down the people who did this (presumably he has the bank account numbers, there may be something they can do) would make him feel better. On the other hand, if the police say, "Sure, buddy, we'll look into it, and from now on don't wire any more money to Jordan" - then, he'd feel worse :(. I'll say a prayer for him.

Sew said...

I'm so sorry....Praying

JellyBelly said...

Your poor dad!!!! Praying for him!

Little JoAnn said...

Horrible. Please tell your Dad that many, many people fall for these evil scams and emails because the culprits are so crafty and vile. Prayers for him.

Danya @ He Adopted Me First said...

Oh that is just awful! What rotten people to do such a thing! I'm sure it's tough to decide if you should mention it since he'd probably be mortified if you knew too! Is there any way to distract him? Like an outing with your son? Also, my little guy has reflux and NEVER sleeps through the night. It's killing us! 'Glad you're baby is growing well. Blessings

Amazing Life said...

Just reading this, I am so sorry to hear how your dad is feeling. Will be lifting him up in prayer.

I love that you are getting so excited preparing for you new baby ;)

It is going to be such a special day!! I can't wait to see if you will be welcoming a baby boy or baby girl!!

Suzie-Q T-Pie said...

Those scams are just awefull!! So sorry, Will pray for your dad.