Right Where I Needed to Be

Wednesday afternoon a simple call to my doc (better safe than sorry) landed me in the hospital for an overnight stay!  I had some nagging feelings that I realized I had better follow up on for piece of mind.  Sorry for TMI, but the symtpoms were...I felt like there was a lot of moisture in my underwear everytime I went to pee, I hadn't felt the baby move in what seemed like awhile, my stomach looked like it had changed shape (skinnier, like baby had dropped or I was losing fluid), and when dh touched the top of my tummy I felt like a foot was falling out the bottom, lol!.   I felt silly about all of these, but in combo I figured it wouldn't hurt to call. When you have a history like mine (i.e. miscarriage, not knowing my water broke last time, not having any contractions I could feel, and infection risks) I just don't want to mess around.

If I had known them checking me out was going to occur at the hospital, I may not have called.  But I didn't, so I did.  And was surprised to hear to check in at Labor and Delivery for fetal monitoring.  I went, no choice of course, but felt silly.  Especially when the baby kicked on the way there.  I called to see if I should still come and the verdict was yes. They wanted to check on my fluid level, etc.  I drove myself, walked in, even smiling.  I knew I would be in and out.  Did I mention I just did preregistration the day prior?  Go figure.  And my tour wasn't for another month so I wasn't even sure where I was going!

My nurse, Julie, was amazing.  She talked about her children, apologized to have ask me about my miscarriages again.  She said she had one at 20 weeks.  I was open with her about my hx, how we found successful treatment through Dr. H etc.  She opened up more about how she was Catholic, has thyroid issues, pcos, endo, Grave's disease...Her 20 week loss had had a birth defect.  It will always be part of her.  She recently had a hysterectomy (she was young-35?!) on the advice of a local RE.  She wished badly to have known about Dr. Hilgers sooner and she asked for Dr. Hilgers contact info (even knowing he is out of state) wanting to give it to her two friends the info, one doing IUI and one doing their last effort at IVF.  God is good.  He puts us right where he wants us!

The baby looked fabulous on the monitor and kicked liked crazy and I loved the reassurance of hearing the heartbeat continuously along with the thumbs of kicking.  The cervical monitor showed irratability, yet no contractions.  She tested for amniotic fluid leak and didn't find one.  She told me she'd see if the doctor wanted her to check me or not, since messing down there can stir things up.  She left and I felt good I'd be on my way soon.

However, when she came back she said she just needed two more things-to check and get a urine sample.  But then it turned out that the check revealed something alarming-I was dilated to one (no big deal) and 90% effaced. She was honest "that is not typical."  She warned me it was subjective, that she didn't get a good feel b/c she didn't want to mess with things with me being so thin, so she didn't know if the cervix was short or soft.  She felt the babies head down, but it moved when she touched it so it wasn't engaged (or locked into the down position). That was good.  She clearly seemed concerned and went to talk to the on call doc and run my urine. She was gone forever and I was left with Dr. Google :)

I was okay, really.  I felt at peace with things.  She came back to say that the urine wasn't positive for UTI, but with some abnormalities and the cervical irration the doc wanted me to have an IV of antibiotics just in case.  The doctor on call came in and broke some big news, they wanted me to stay all night to monitor for contractions, they were also giving me the steroid for lung development.  This seemed serious, but it was clear it was all precautionary and I was in good hands.  The doctor frustrated me. She seemed to want to prove her knowledge since I never met her.  She wasn't interested in my story that the nurse encouraged I share.  She told me clindamyacin wasn't indicated for Chamydi.a or mycoplasma.  She told me there were more recent studies that there is a better kind of progesterone that reached different receptors (still prog in oil, it also has to be compounded).  She said clearly my kind wasn't working.  She also said she had no idea why my doctor was getting the NFP training in Omaha as she had gotten it in her residency and he had gone to the same place.  Lets just say I wasn't impressed, but I am curious about the new progesterone studies and am following up with Dr. H.  I love how my nurse looked at me after she left and said "she just doesn't get it."  I was glad to know she did in a similar short amount of time.

I called my husband, arranged childcare, etc.  My voice only broke when I told my sister the news, but that was the first I knew I felt even a little worried.  Maybe it just sounded so serious at that point.  I said some prayers, offered this up, and sent some emails for prayer requests.  My husband brought my son to visit me, which was so nice, and also some toiletries and things to read.  My mom came up and brought a Wil.low statue that said "showered in love."  She is so thoughtful.  I did feel loved, and in good hands.

I didn't sleep well, but that was just because it was a hospital and I haven't been at home this trimester anyway, rather it be for no reason, Charlie, the baby moving, hunger, bathroom breaks etc.  Additionally there were all the cords to deal with everytime I went to the bathroom and the temp in the room was HOT!  I slept only two hours earlier and then two hours later in the night.  So much for a good nights sleep away from Charlie. lol

This morning brought more surprises, but of a different variety.  My doc did a check this morning and I felt I was much less effaced. He felt that the cervix was normal for this time, more like 50%, and said it is subjective and that he got a better feel than the nurse who was quick (she didn't want to disturb, esp after she saw how thin I was).  He did say it could be thinner in some areas then others.  Anyway, he let me go home immediately without bedrest or anything (less than 12 hrs ago they were worried about gravity!).  He felt it was fine that I had received the IV and steroids. I will go back tonight for the last steriod shot as an outpatient.  Its a funny thing, this all being so subjective, but I am glad we errored on the side of caution!

The way I figure it, I was there for a reason.  Maybe I was dilated to 90% and the prayers reversed things?  We'll never know.  Or maybe it was to get the IV abx to prevent preterm labor as a result of an oncoming bladder infection I wouldn't have known about or treated early enough.  Maybe it was to get the steroid because perhaps the baby will come early and fast and there won't be time at that point.  Or maybe it was to tell my nurse about Dr. Hilgers so she could give the information to her friends.  What I do know it is that was anything but wasted time.  God put me there for a reason. And I can do nothing but celebrate that this is  the best possible outcome!  God is so good!