Well, my freedom might be wrapping up soon. It was a false sense of freedom anyone. I was "free" to not take HCG shots and free to have the consequences be a crazy person to my family and walk around angry for no reason. We were also avoiding since I didn't have post peak support (while not really charting). Call me stupid, but neither dh nor I would say I had PMS prior to this experience. Perhaps I just have not had enough cycles free from shots. If I was trying, I was on shots. If I wasn't trying, I usually wasn't cycling.

So here we are. I still have not appealed the insurance company over the HCG and I am still fighting them over Toth's bills. They literally requested all of Dr. Hilger's records. All three full charts. Have fun with that. I asked the nurses to write a summary cover letter. They won't find evidence of IF in there. At least not the kind of evidence I think they are looking for. But have at it.

I realized the other day that I needed to be back on HCG. I need to not be avoiding with my husband during fertile times. I am sure I am not ovulating, but if there is a chance I am, I want to have the support in place. And yes, me being a crazy person factors in too. I decided to just call Kubats with my T3 and ask them to send me HCG too. They already have a script, they are cheaper than my insurance, and perhaps I can get started again in time for this cycle. While it is still $60 (not $100) I am no longer on LDN (Hilgers removed as part of my ttc meds) so it is almost a wash. Now I can be "free" to give myself shots again (ugh, yes, I may try thigh), free to be with my husband whenever, and free to go back to charting, free to have now monthly cycle reviews and blood draws to monitor the HCG. Ugh. I hadn't totally thought that one through. This just might be my life, ttc or not. Every choice we make as a result of our free will definitely has costs associated with it. It is our choice, and we are also the ones left holding the check.

I appreciate all your comments, support, and suggestions last time. E, I can't take prog and estrogen separately due to my factor V leiden. My understanding is I am at greater risk to clot on estrogen and it is dangerous. I did used to really like HCG, so hopefully I can go back to sticking myself and enjoy the results.

I want to write a little adoption post soon. There is really nothing to update, but I have a lot of seemingly conflicting thoughts floating around that I want to just put out there to my wise blog land girlies...until then, God bless each of you. I continue to pray for your intentions.


E said...

UGH sorry about the injections. :( Did you ask Hilgers about the factor V Leiden being an issue with estrodial? I'm wondering about that since it is cooperative and getting to where you need to be and not giving you something synthetic, but I don't really know.

WheelbarrowRider said...

Dr. H is the one who took me off of it so I think it is a done deal, but thanks for looking out for me, E :)