Showing posts with label cycle update. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cycle update. Show all posts

6.12.2013

First Cycle Review Post 4th Miscarriage

Well, our cycle review wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but that is alright. A few things contributed to this.

First of all, of course I never travel for work, but I did this month. I figured it would be during blood draw time, it turns out I was there P+6-8. I barely had time to breathe in Los Angeles since I was only there Monday through Wednesday for work so no chance to hunt down a place to draw blood. Not that I thought to do that because I had in my head, mistakenly, that P+8 would be the day I got home and I knew that was acceptable. So first thing Thursday (my birthday-hello, thirty-five!) I started it off with a blood draw. Paid for a blood draw. Shipped a blood draw. And likely paid for it to be analyzed at PPVI. On to learn on the cycle review call it was too late and unusable. Boo! Oh well. My own dumb fault.

However, I wanted them to use this info to get me back on meds. Not to ttc (still more to learn), but to try to regulate things and see if a d&c of sorts would come from being on the right meds. While the nurse did say the doc might script meds without being able to use the blood draw results, he didn't.

To make matters a little worse, it wasn't Dr. H but another female doc Dr. J I think? that looked at my cycle review. So I don't know how familiar she is with my history. While I should trust (that's what files are for, right?) I am also realistic. I have two rather large PPVI files since I have been with them since 2005. Six pregnancies, two surgeries, many many cycle reviews. It's a lot to expect anyone to sort through.

So it was sort of an important cycle in my opinion, but the result was add B6 and consult Dr. Toth. I don't know if she knows that I have consulted Dr. Toth before, that I haven't done full treatment but have been down there once for testing and consider myself his patient too. I just don't know. I mean, it is reasonable to do this, I just really want to know if that is what Dr. H wants. There was some good news on the call. Our genetic testing came back normal. So we are back to the same hypothesis, our good friend infection. No surprises there.

So my choices are to do it or wait another cycle. I need to remind myself next cycle to also ask about LDN and lyme disease testing (western blot). I feel Dr. Toth will say do full treatment or at least testing in NY to see what bug we are dealing with, but I can't assume. So dh and I will have those discussions tonight. We do have a free SW ticket in our possession, same way we got down there last time. And we were just talking about a trip, though NY isn't our first choice for pleasure. It's possibly doable. Getting ahead of myself, clearly. Anxiety does not come from the Lord so when it starts to rear its ugly head I will send it back where it came from.

On the prayer intentions front, I have two lovely friends who struggle with fertility problems pregnant and due in December. They are both moving right along well and I couldn't be happier for them! Also, my dad is healing nicely from back surgery. My mom's mystery illness is starting to be uncovered. When her large hernia was untreated, her stomach went through it and sat behind her heart. Now we know the heart is having an electrical problem that is corrected with beta blockers. The GI/vagal response is still an issue. We just learned her stomach is not emptying as it should (she still had food in it 16 hrs after eating during a fasting test!) The meds for this have bad side effects and there is no cure so that part is discouraging. It looks like maybe the stomach position before it was fixed in surgery damaged the vegus nerve (which won't regenerate) and maybe caused the heart and stomach issue. Good to know what it is. Working on fixing it. So prayers for that. And prayers for my dad. We are watching the Catholicism video series together. I am trying to peak some interest there. We shall see.

P.S. I heard this at mass the other day and thought of my girls!!!!

 Therefore, having been justified by faith, [a]we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and[b]we exult in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only this, but [c]we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; 4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. (Romans 5: 1-5)


8.30.2011

The Purpose of My Blog and Lack of Posting

My posts being fewer and further between is the result of the fact that I don't want every post to simply be an update on my life right now.  That is just a personal preference as to the purpose of my blog.  The purpose of this blog, I believe, is to:
  1. help those with IF find morally acceptable means toward healing
  2. give encouragement and hope by my story to those on the path to healing because it can be long
  3. help those new to Dr. Hilgers and his methods navigate that world as easily as possible,
  4. support mothers after IF since that comes with its own mix of emotions and
  5. share things of interest to my Catholic and/or pro life sisters.
I have probably forgotten some since that was literally just off the top of my head, but that covers the gist of it, I think.  I hope I am meeting these goals and am happy to take feedback if I am not (via comment or personal email).  I blog for you guys, not for me, though I have been greatly benefitted by this wonderfully supportive group of new friends!

That being said, I do have a few updates.

In the area of fertility, I have not yet gotten my period back.  There have been several times I thought it was coming due to crampiness, but nothing yet. I have had some interesting symptoms come back, as well, that I think relate but in a not so obvious way.  For example, the stomach problems I have are totally cycle related.  Mostly grease or rich chocolate send me dying a slow death and eventually running for the bathroom after my intestines have been turned inside out. I didn't miss that!  And my itchy spots have come back-the base of my scalp and mostly the little "corners" of my nose.  Nikki, I want to talk to you about the bumps from elbow to shoulder on my arms!  Its all so interesting to me how it relates.  I have had several instances of peak type mucus (10C/K Lx1, 1") but nothing sticks around.  I am not doing the best charting, I regretfully admit, but am resolving to get on it better.  With Charlie, I was mostly dry after his birth and then my period didn't return until a month or so after he was completely and totally weaned.  This was surprising to me because of how slow he was weaned (due to repeated mastitis). I literally nursed him about a minute his last time, I believe a few days after or before his first birthday (sorry, no time to look up, but the post is there if you are interested).  I know every child can be different, but it looks like it might be the same.  AJ is over 9 months and, as of now, I don't plan on nursing past a year (4 times mastitis so far, at this point I had had 5 with Charlie-its a recurrent problem with me that Dr. Toth said is probably related to the chronic infection that plays a big part in our infertility).  I will say my infection cleared up on its own because I pumped as soon as I realized that was why I was sore and I don't think it progressed very far. I was grateful to avoid the antibiotics.

WARNING-IF YOU ARE FEELING FRAGILE TODAY, THE FOLLOWING MAY NOT BE FOR YOU. IT MAY COME ACROSS CALLOUS, WHEN THAT IS NOT HOW I AM MEANING IT AT ALL.  When people ask me if I want another child (non-IFers of course!), I say absolutely yes!  We were so blessed to have the 2 we have and I do not feel that I can personally shut the door on that.  I want to be a witness for life and let them know how precious children are!  When I met my dh, I always told him I wanted a big family.  I did/do, but I would exaggerate beyond what is likely possible given my age because my dh tends to negotiate (is that terrible?!).  He would say he wanted 2 to 3 and I would say 5 or 6 :)  Since then trying to have 3 children has become a given around here, so I'd say it worked at least somewhat.  I tell him if we are lucky, I could have 4 biological given my age and then we can adopt!  My dh is one that needs to get used to the idea of something.  I don't shove adoption down his throat, but I have been clear from day one that I desire this.  (He also doesn't like surprises).  I, actually, would be really surprised if he would agree to this, but the other day he said something that was matter of fact about it and I silently giggled with delight that it was still a possibility!  So, trying for #3 remains something we both want to do, but I have purposely not mentioned when we would actively try to conceive.  I have done this because, with my period not back yet, I figured it would give him some time to not feel pressured.  We have both been hit hard with the lack of sleep and I have been harder to live with, for sure.  I think he is scared to dive right back in.  I, of course, am scared not to.  So I give him space on it and I hope that when the time comes he will feel better about things.  I figure if my period comes back in 3 months or so, then (if the protocol is the same), I will have blood work on the 2nd cycle, medicate the 3rd and repeat peak plus 7 blood work, and then try on the 4th.  Even if we got pregnant right away, it would still be another 9 months and we (hopefully) would be well rested by then and ready to parent!  I, honestly, can't believe it still that we got pregnant with AJ on the first cycle trying and have no idea what to expect this time.  I am perfectly aware that something could have changed and we may never be able to get pregnant, so that is always on my mind and I am grateful for what we do have.

Speaking of, Mr. AJ has had a fabulous week of sleeping through the night, which is going a LONG way for me and my ability to parent a teething two year old!  For those interested, I feed him 2 oz of cereal and 2 oz of fruit/yogurt for breakfast (after nursing).  For lunch, he nurses and then (half hour to hour after) solids consist of 2 oz fruit/yog and 2oz of vegetable.  He has a "snack" around 2 or 3 (after 2nd nap) of nursing and some finger foods like cereal (just starting) and then he has dinner around 5 (4oz veg and 1oz protein-meat or edamame, etc).  He sometimes nurses before dinner, but mostly after (about an hr, before bed).  If he is too full to nurse before bed, I will nurse him if he wakes up an hour or so later and then right back to bed.  If he doesn't wake on his own between 10pm and 11pm, I will wake him and nurse him.  He then sleeps until about 7, sometimes 8 (about 12 hrs total).  He is such a sweet, fun baby.  He smiles anytime you look at him and is very very easy going.  He is thrilled to be mobile.  Funny how it was a late start to sitting up (7 1/2 months), but how quickly he went to rocking on all fours, and crawling, then pulling to a stand.  He now is trying to let go and/or stand in the middle of the living room.  The latter isn't successful, but he really tries!  He only really was fussy when the top two teeth broke through last week.  He now has four!

Charlie only had 2 teeth at one, so he was a slow painful teether.  In fact, he is still teething!  He is almost done, finally!, getting in the top two incisors.  I just found out last week at the dentist that his 2 yr molars are finally coming in on the bottom (no top ones yet).  I told you he was slow!  The teething explains a lot related to nap time, which has many factors making it hard.  First, teething, then the fact that if he sleeps at night 13 hrs then he is not tired for nap. Then you add how he gets hyper and resists sleep if he is overtired.  Then add potty training (he uses it as excuse to leave room, plus he holds bms sometimes-though much better this week-so that makes it hard to sleep and he starts streaking his pullup that he wears at naptime only...)  It's quite the process.  But, if he is truly tired and has teeth medicine on board, then I can usually get him to sleep now if I can get him to be calm in bed for 20 min or so. That involves praising him for following our three rules-laying down, pants on (haha!), talking quietly.  He gets to watch MM Clubhouse if he does and then I feel better about "giving up" on a nap if he has done those things.  Since he loves attn and me going in the room, I try to do it only to praise him-at 1 min, 5 min and then 20-25 min.  The clock starts over if I walk in and he isn't following the rules.  This utilizes my education in positiv.e behavi.or support.  Before, I was tired and cranky and regrettfully spanked, which was not effective and made me feel awful as a parent and a professional.  For those struggling with challenging behavior, I highly recommend a book I was reading for work called Optim.istic Par.enting.  It is wonderful therapy and help and I, embarrasingly, needed it!  However, I am doing much better knowing this experience will make me a better professional and using the serenity prayer as my guide!

Charlie is such an awesome big brother.  He seems to have mostly moved past the constant rough love and really likes to engage AJ in play.  And AJ is happy to cooperate so that is really awesome to see.  I included some pics of them playing together.

One more update for fun, I asked dh for a deck remodel as a little oasis for me as my graduation gift.  This summer has been so hot and I really don't want the cooler weather to pass without me taking advantage and the winter coming in.  He happily obliged and I was able to get a new porch swing (old cushion molded bad and new swing was cheaper than new cushions-plus is reclines!), new chairs for our table outside (ours broke through), an umbrella, seat cushions, chairs for the boys, a new swing for AJ, and new pillows for the swing (yay for end of the season clearance!).  It looks so great and we have been enjoying both coffee in the morning out there and dinner at night.  I love it!  It is definitely making me feel more refreshed!  And, the icing on the cake, was when Jenny was so kind as to mail me this great mug as a prayer buddy follow up gift!  It makes me smile so much to look at it. Thank you, Jenny!


We cheated and put the new cushion on the old porchswing since we haven't had time to put the new one together!






Lookout-he is getting braver!

1.17.2010

First shot sub-q, cycle update, and "sicker than a dog"

Where does the phrase "sicker than a dog" come from anyway?  Oh, well.  Here it is entirely appropriate.  I don't think I have ever been this sick in my life and the timing sucks.  But, in all fairness, there is never a good time to be sick (and always a worse time to be sick-like when you are pregnant and can't take crap and have to make awful decisions like "is this illness hurting the baby or would my taking the meds hurt the baby?  which is worse?")  I digress...I have a virus that turned into a secondary infection.  I am: coughing (though occasional, always disgusting junk that is hard to move, tastes horrid, and makes my throat feel like fire, and my chest seize up), more physically exhausted then I have ever been (heart pounding, tired going up stairs, etc), with fever/aches/chills/headache to top it all off.  I pray it doesn't move into my sinuses.

It is bad timing primarily because my husband is working crazy hours and can't help much with me or the baby, my mom is taking care of my sister's 3 kids while she is out of town so she can't help, and I am fearful that my hubby will get this because I know he won't be able to stop working.  I dread when I feel better and have to go back to the piles of laundry, dishes, school, and work that have been piling up.  Not to mention the disinfecting that will need to occur.  Additionally I worry about my son getting it, of course; he already has a junky cough and a few sneezes but seems otherwise unaffected.  My husband is helping the most he can, letting me be upstairs in our room while he is with our son, taking care of the meals he is home for (i.e. takeout), last night he did the bed/bath routine (bathing is exhausting on a good day!) and today he took my son with him to church while I slept.  Being sick sucks!  Oh yes, it also bad timing due to the meds.  I will explain later.

Anyway, on to the "good" stuff!  I love love love being back on the meds for the most part because things are predictable and the signs are clear.  Of course, I am completely tied to the clock, and the number of meds is insane, but I am hoping and praying it is temporary (we are only trying 3 cycles before we know this regime won't work and will look for additional problems, etc).

Reminder: this cycle is the first one medicated since I got my period back and the 3rd one I have had since nursing.  We are NOT trying this cycle, just getting on the meds and then doing a peak plus 7 draw and then we will know based on the cycle review and levels if they are good enough to support a pregnancy.  Then, and only then, would we be given the green light (I am hoping for it to be around Valentine's Day-totally possible and dh proposed the Sat before, but would be ecstatic for any BFP as anyone who knows me knows). 

This cycle looked good on paper.  I had 6 days of bleeding with no brown blood.  I had a little peak type on CD10 and CD13, but I knew not to be "faked out" because I took clomid 4,5,6 so I was figuring CD 15 peak type and that is when the real run actually began (of course we had to avoid those days anyway, just in case, poor dh, seriously).  Unmedicated I would have maybe had 1 day of peak type and it would have been 1".  But not on these meds, baby!  Six, yes six, day of peaktype that ended with 5" (sorry TMI) that I didn't think possible until I did the meds last time.  It was a pity not to take advantage!  lol

Peak day was CD 20.  Here is where the little problem came in.  I filled the amox and started it on CD10.  I was told to take it when I saw peak type and continue through peak day (weird, you don't know peak day until the day after...).  So that is what I did, but recall there was 2 false alarms so I actually had to fill the script twice and take it 10 1/2 days total-oops, I missed a dose somewhere in there.  Technically I should have filled it a 3rd time!  Additionally I am on clarythramyacin (biaxin) (and dh) on CD1-10.  But we didn't get told this (like the clomid) until my cycle review.  By time I got the call back with order, due to the holiday, it was CD 4.  So I was told to take it CD 4-14.  So lots of antibiotics.  (and probiotics) And yet, I got sick.  With a virus.  But they called me in a z pac.k.  I wasn't going to take it.  I got sick Thursday morning, Jan. 14th, my peak day, but by Saturday I was dying.  I called the doctor and they said it had become infection (a secondary one had developed) based on my symptoms and to take the meds.  Which are similar to Biaxin.  Gosh, I really hope we don't get resistant to this stuff.  Typically I don't worry about that since it is here to be used when we need it and it is important to take the right amount so it actually works and not dilute it or why bother...anyway, we only take it a few cycles and then have a break for one reason or another.   But this time I am little worried.  Such large amounts!

Sorry for the long post.  Just one more thing-I gave my first peak plus 3 hcg injection sub cutaneously today and it was so not a big deal.  Really!  I took a minute to get over the body's natural desire to not want to harm itself!  But I just did it in the stomach where I definitely had some extra, and no problem!  It is so much better than that progesterone in oil during pregnancy where you give anywhere from 2-4 cc's since my place doesn't compound it strong enough...and you give that veeeerrrryyyy slowly.