7.20.2010

Another Day at the Mill

I know I have mentioned on here at least once that I sidewalk counsel outside our local Plan.ned Parentho.od.  If this is news to you, don't go congratulating me yet. 
I have also mentioned how much I dislike doing this.  The getting up and being there at 6:30am, the cold or the heat (there are only extremes here), and most of all my own insecurities.  I only do one Saturday a month-the minimum.  I am not good at it, so I usually take the back drive with less traffic.  I think I would be better at it if I studied more outside of actually doing it, if I did it more often, etc etc.  I mostly think about these things I need to do differently as I drive there. 

Last Saturday was my Saturday.  I woke at 4am and couldn't get back to sleep.  I got ready and kept thinking that I wanted to look like girls could identify with me, and that they would want to be me (round belly and all) or at least not not want to be me!  I was driving there armed with a small coffee and McDonalds (a girl needs a few things to function and these are it for me on these days).  I was already thinking of telling the others, hey I've been up since four so I might head out early.  They'd understand right?  And then, again I swear it is being surround by all of you awesome examples, I thought, the devil is after me again.  It is like in the Scr.ewtape Let.ters and he is just feeding off my every fear and insecurity.  He is saying in my ear "why don't you just stay home.  No one will miss you.  No one will mind.  You won't do any good being there anyway.  Why don't you just stop this and let those that are good at it do it...you are pregnant, they will understand"  I realized the lie in all of this.  I realized that there aren't enough women as there is.  I realized that God will work through me if I just show up.  So I did it, I offered up all those insecurities for the conversion of the women's minds that day.  And boy, do I think those insecurities did some powerful work in the right hands.

I arrived first.  I was alone. The other two rode together and were late.  The older male was not joining us this week.  I was alone.  At first I didn't get out of my car because I thought they would be there soon.  We have a rule to wait and pray and go up together because there have been some issues with the police etc.  But then I saw two couples pull in.  I thought, they didn't even have the chance to stop for the literature if they wanted to.  And here, the mill was still closed, they would have had time to read it in their cars (PP will take it away from them).  So I got out of my car, figuring the lawn workers there were witness enough to feel safe, and headed to the front drive.  At first, there were no cars.  Just two couples outside the doors, beyond ear reach but within site.  (we can't go on the property).  I did what I like to call my care bea.r stare.  I pointed my round belly right at them.  And I looked at them with sadness and compassion.  And I prayed my little heart out.  And I pictured my heart with rays reaching to them.  And then I pictured something new, my baby's heart reaching out to them as well.  And I prayed and prayed.  At least now I felt I was doing something.  Not in my car.   And certainly not in my bed at home. 

Those couples went in.  It appears they went through with it.  The other girls came.  We offered materials.  I only handed out one.  I told God I don't need the glory of a turn around, I just wanted the conversion of the hearts and minds regardless of me knowing about it.  The counselor across from me was able to give material at one point and speak to the mom who dropped her young daughter off.  I saw her talking so fast, though I couldn't hear what she was saying.  I was on the other side of the car and my lips were moving just as fast, as if the life depended on how many Hail Mary's I could get out.  God didn't mind my own ignorance.  He smiled on my efforts and the other counselors.  It was impressed upon that mom that she could do something about the situation.  And she did.  She got her daughter the heck out of there.  She rolled back up to the driveway with her and smiled, said they had changed their mind, denied any further assistance from us, and left.

After I went home at my normal time, the other counselors stayed a bit later and had another chance to talk to a women.  The poor women had another daughter, no support(alcoholic mother), no job, so many things against her.  She didn't want to abort the child.  She didn't feel she had other options.  The counselor took her to the crisis pregnancy center.  They are helping her find a job.  They told her of all the supports they could offer her.  She came out grinning, saying she was not aborting and she was deciding whether to give the baby up for adoption or not.  The counselor told her she didn't have to decide that today, one step at a time.  We will be staying in contact and supporting her, including throwing her a baby shower.  This mom said "I had no idea the baby has arms and legs right now!"  These women...they just don't know.  They just don't have the support.  They just don't have the maturity.  They have pressure and fears.  They want to turn the clock back to before they were pregnant, but that is not what abortion does. 

I am so proud to be associated with these amazing women.  Three turn arounds have occurred in the last two weeks that we know of.  This is pretty typical, surprisingly.  Our prayers, our presence, makes such a difference.  By showing up, letting God work through us, oh the things He accomplishes!  I can't promise I will do much between now and next month on brushing up on my skills, but I can guarentee that I will be there to do my part.  And I will certainly be telling that whispering devil in my ear where he can go!  Thank you all for standing up for the beautiful pro life teachings of the Church!

13 comments:

Amazing Life said...

You being there as Christ's light is such a gift to the Kingdom :)

Megan said...

This is a wonderful post! I love the "Care bear stare" haha
I'm sure you and your beautiful pregnant belly are having more of an impact than you can possibly imagine!

Kaitlin @ More Like Mary said...

How wonderful! Keep it up!

Hebrews 11:1 said...

Awesome! Go you!! I love the "Care bear stare" :-)

Leila @ Little Catholic Bubble said...

And you were saying that what you post is not worthy??? What you said here is infinitely more valuable than I can even describe. I am so full of admiration for you. One thing I have never been brave enough to do is go to an abortion mill. I have friends who do what you do, and even train others to do it, too. And, I have never gone. I am a coward. But you are a hero. God bless your beautiful efforts!

WheelbarrowRider said...

Oh my goodness, you guys! My point in this was so not to toot my own horn. Seriously the person with a million excuses, I absolutely dread going! Ugh! I did forget to say that there were several cops out watching us, but one was very nice and came up to say he was there to protect us too and how he was adopted and he was just the sweetest man ever. It was wonderful to hear him say this. Also, I think my prayer buddy has something to do with the burst of renewal I had on the way to the mill, so thank you prayer buddy!

mrsblondies said...

Wonderful post! I really need to get myself in gear and do that soon. Even if you don't feel like going, you still do it and that's what is important.

Danya said...

AWESOME! Thank you. I do adoption talks at our local crisis pregnancy clinic and I can tell you that I never feel like going. It is truly and act of the will. Once I'm there though, I see positive changes in the attitudes these women have about adoption. Like you said, if you can just let God work through you, amazing things can happen! It always makes me sad to drive by PP and see no sidewalk counselors out there:( We certainly need more trench soldiers in the fight for life! Beautiful!

Little JoAnn said...

Totally awesome. Your witness is stunning in so many ways. Thank you for showing up! Thank you for sharing this. You are a hero! Now, don't disagree with me about this!

Sarah said...

Wow... thanks for sharing your perspective on this. I think so many women just don't know and are victims. It's amazing to see how many choose life when help - and knowledge about their babies - is available.

Sew said...

That's fantastic! I NEVER feel like it either....I have the same battles too! I even had those same battles in the beginning of our marriage and the beginning stages of IF just to make it to Mass. It was vicious and an all out battle and sometimes I didn't win. :)

It's great that you reconized it, because sometimes it is just so easy to give into but....But the little bit you gave (even though it felt like a ton) you in return received so much! ;)

Awaiting a Child of God:) said...

I wish we all lived in the same city...can you imagine the work we would do! I'm so proud of you and your determination. Just think of how much you made Jesus smile:)

Suzie-Q T-Pie said...

you are amazing! I love the way you described you and your baby's hearts reaching out to these people! Beautiful post! :)