10.05.2010

Bad Things then Good Things

Warning, this post is all over the place, but if you can get through the negative things, I have many positive things listed as well.

So many things are bothering me lately.  The main one is the girl who is aborting on Friday.  I didn't comment on her post, but she is in my thoughts and prayers. I read a lot of the comments yesterday and today.  It gives great insight into the pro choice movement, and I think I will be a better couselor for it, but it is oh so disturbing.  She is very scared of feeling pain and yet...hello, your child is 17 weeks along.  I learned that basically at 20 weeks almost everything is complete.  Your child will feel pain!  Doesn't that at least bother you?!

Secondly, I am upset about the creator of IVF receiving a Nobel prize.  I told my dh yesterday, this man did nothing for women's health.  Nothing.  He helped them cheat the system.  He helped them get what they desperately wanted, a child.  At what cost?  And certainly to no benefit of their health.  Their fertility problems were not solved, only bypassed.  And certainly not to the benefit of the millions of babies that did not make it.  Thank God for Naprotechnology.  Dr. Hilgers needs an award!

Thirdly, I am bothered about a snake being killed.  Yes, a snake.  We had a nice weekend at my in laws, albeit we were there for a funeral (more to support them as we did not know the women well).  Charlie enjoyed playing with his dad's cousins kiddos.  He was not with them, thankfully, when a snake was found.  The younger boys shot it with a bebe gun and did other things I just barely caught wind of and didn't ask for details.  I hate this sort of thing.  It bothers me.  Yes, I kill bugs in my house (correction, I have my dh get rid of them, I scoop them up on paper plates and throw them outside, not because of my kind soul either, I don't have the stomach to kill them) so maybe I am being hypocritical, but this sort of torture for sport thing makes me ill.  My husband didn't get why the snake thing bothered me so much and even polked fun at me about it.  So we ended up getting in a fight about it, which is even more upsetting.

Fourth, a huge fear was realized this past weekend.  I fell.  Pregnant.  With Charlie in my arms!  We are both okay, though traumatized.  I still recall two instances of falling, one with each of my parents.  There is something about not being the one to cause the fall...especially when you are in the arms of someone you trust.  I couldn't stop thinking about that.  Basically I cut through a garden with a small fence since there were many young girls sitting on the steps.  I carried Charlie through the garden (I never carry him), and must have not raised my back leg high enough over the 12 inch fence.  I went face forward with no arms to brace myself.  I threw Charlie out in front of me, knowing I didn't want to land on him and trying to get him to clear the concrete sidewalk and land on the grass.  I have no idea if I was successful.  His head hit hard, that I know, and he was very upset.  I am fine.  The baby is fine.  I didn't land on my stomach, but I managed to take a very large amount of skin off one knee, a little off another and some off an ankle (not sure how I managed all three in one instance).  It didn't help that I was wearing a skirt.  I have no idea if I remained decent while flying through the air.  I gave the girls on the stairs quite a show regardless.  Did I mention I don't even know them.  The least of my problems, but a little salt in the wound to be so vulnerable in front of so many family I had never met.  My embarrassment was contagious-many just adverted their eyes and I found out later those that didn't witness it thought I was sitting comforting a Charlie that fell rather than me being the cause of his needing comfort.  Awful. I hope to never do that again!

And lastly (for the less than happy list), my best friends' dad has been diagnosed with Parkinson's.  This was by his primary care physician so there is a chance the neurologist giving the second opinion will disagree. However, we read online if it isn't this, most likely it is something worse.  The primary care told him it was terminal and since he is 60, that means just 5-10 years.  Online it says it isn't the disease itself but pneumonia or something else that will be the actual cause.  Did I mention he is just 60?  He is newly retired?  A clean healthy living family oriented kind of man. Did I mention he runs daily?  And climbs mountains?

On a much more positive note, there was a beautiful and timely homily this weekend about how prayers aren't answered on our time, but God's and that God has a beautiful plan but it may be fulfilled in our situations in timing beyond our lifetime.  We just have to trust.  Bad things happen to good people.  But God is merciful and just and so it will all be okay in the end.  Reminds me of my favorite magnet-"It will all be okay in the end.  If its not okay, its not the end." Love it!  But you all knew I was a quote person!  So, at least I was able to share this with my best friend and I think she found comfort in it.  Please pray for her dad and her (she is the "spiritual but not religious" type that has become so common in our society....)

Also on a positive note, I am due in about a month.  How crazy is that?!  I am busy working on my dissertation, but many things are done and ready and we are anxious to know what we are having and meet this little one face to face!    I read my weekly babycenter update that describes where I am at perfectly...
"Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds.  Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same....If you could peek inside your womb, you'd see that there's more baby than amniotic fluid in there now. Your ballooning uterus is crowding your other internal organs, too, which is why you probably have to urinate more often and may be dealing with heartburn, etc." It's really not bad, it just a perfect description of how crowded things are in there, etc. :)  I am excited that my doctor has ordered another u/s to be on the safe side (due to the clotting issue I have), so next Tuesday I get to see the baby again, which will never get old!

And speaking of old, guess who is turning 2 this Friday?  My Charlie bear!  And if you could just picture him right now saying "two" with a cheesy smile and two index fingers pointed up...he has trouble isolating two fingers on the same hand!  Stay tuned for a post dedicated to him, one on his big boy room, and one on our nursery.  These are my lofty goals! :)

And though I don't have the nifty icon, and though I am still licking my wounds over yesterday, I would like to add that I am grateful for my husband and the fact that he let me have a cleaning women come today since he knows it is very uncomfortable for me to bend over and kills my back and legs!  The house looks awesome and I don't have to worry now about prepping it for the in laws who are coming for Charlie's party.  So thank you, hubs.  And thank you, ladies, for reading a very long and mostly depressing post on a thousand different topics that I was too tired to reread and edit.

16 comments:

Beth said...

OH man I'm so glad you're ok!

Sounds like your Charlie and new baby will be the same age difference as my two oldest. 25 months? I think that was perfect ;)

Danya @ He Adopted Me First said...

Oh my goodness your fall! It reminds me of the time I fell off of my bike a few years ago during a family bike ride. We borrowed my neighbors bike which had the foot baskets and my giant birkenstock got stuck in it. My three year old was on the back in the baby seat (he was probably too heavy) and we both tipped over. I skinned up my knee and got a big hole in my fav. pants, but, thank God, baby was wearing a helmet and was totally fine (though shaken up). The really funny, sweet part though was that everyone else jumped off of their bikes (leaving them laying in the road - that's 5 bikes) and ran over to see if we were okay. Even the neighbors ran out! I was so touched by how concerned everyone was so it ended up being a really great moment for me.
I too was also bothered by the abortion post, esp. the commenters and the award for the IVF doctor. 'Just think about how many babies he's responsible for killing! 'Makes me sick. AND I'm with you on the cruelty to animals thing...I don't like it either and I would've done the same thing you did. Your post reminded me of my new "yuck list." When I'm feeling yucky, I write down a list of all the things that are making me feel that way. Then I talk to my hubs about them and try to find a bright spot so I don't stew on only the bad stuff. Speaking of bright spot...can't wait for baby and we NEED a bump photo!

Leila @ Little Catholic Bubble said...

I'm so with you on the IVF doc and abortion post. Sigh....

JellyBelly said...

Seems like bad days were abound yesterday!

I read about the Nobel prize while I was eating my breakfast. I said some choice words at the table and was disgusted.

I will pray for your friend's dad. One of our good friends has Parkinsons and she's doing pretty well (and she's way younger than 60). I hope that getting a second opinion will bring a better diagnosis.

Sarah said...

My grandmother had Parkinson's. She was diagnosed in her 60's. She thought her life would decline quickly, but she ended up living until age 84, most of that time independently. I pray your friend's dad stays healthy for a good long time.

Kaitlin @ More Like Mary said...

That's a lot to take in-I'm so you're struggling. I'm glad you and Charlie (and baby!) are ok from the fall and hope things start looking up really soon!

Jill said...

Every child is a miracle and every way a child is created is a miracle...even with IVF.

I'm SO sorry to hear about all those other things listed though! What a tough week! My prayers are definitely with your friends dad. That is so scary about your fall...you Thomas's- always falling :) I"m glad you are Ok though! Can't wait to see you next week!

Jill said...

And, the snake thing....I dont' think I would let Charlie play with those kids anymore.

Sew said...

Jill I'm not sure she was saying that every baby wasn't a miracle. She was stating that the babies that were brought to fruition due to IVF by either being discarded because they didn't form properly, frozen for later use or not, etc..etc...The statistics form the UK are sad. 100,000 babies born of IVF but 2,000,000 didn't make it. Those are the exact but numbers off the top of my head.

So it is a tradgedy that a man is given the noble prize for something less then noble. 2million babies are dead because of it.

Tridentine Wife said...

Oh gosh you must have been so scared, I'm glad you and Charlie are okay. I fell when I was pg with the twins and dislocated my knee but the babies were fine and so was I. A nurse made me feel horrible about it though :(

Also sorry to hear about the Parkinson's disease, that must be nard to accept. But on a happier note, not too much longer and you'll be a mommy of two.

lowly said...

Wow, this IS one heck of a list. I am glad you are ok...and I'm with you on the yucky stuff...it has been bothering me a lot, too...but then I figure it is something to offer up.

WheelbarrowRider said...

Lowly, good point-offering it up. Will do.
Hafsa, I had no idea you fell and injured yourself that badly-my gosh! And I only had very minor bumps and bruises so can't imagine how you must have felt. Sorry to hear the nurse made you feel worse-that is sort of the opposite of their jobs, eh?
Jill, of course you know I agree that every child is a miracle. I love your two miracles very much. I am not sure I agree that any means of getting them is a miracle, will think on that one, but that does not any way take away from the value of the actual child of course. And of course the meaning of my comment was exactly that, the value of every child including the ones often discarded as part of the procedure. But then, you know me so you probably knew all that! ;)
Sew, you know I love you and your passion for the babies!
All of you, your comments were so nice to read. Especially Danya (who had good advice for me on how to handle future yucks!) and Sarah, whose story about her grandmother brought instant happiness to my friend, which was priceless!

Jill said...

Jamie-you know as a strong Catholic I am with you on most things but we will always disagree on the IVF debate. I just had to give my two cents on it :)

4 million babies are ALIVE because God allowed it to happen through IVF!

Ok, I"m done. I know you love my boys and you know I love you and your family too!

Joy Complete said...

One of my biggest fears is falling while holding the baby. I'm glad you are all okay. I felt the same way about the nobel prize and the abortion thread. Wow - one more month until the baby arrives! Happy birthday to Charlie!

Sissy said...

Thank you, I needed what you had to say. I was talking to God last night, asking him why I felt so overwhelmed with all the waiting and dry seasons in my life currently. I need one thing to turn out well. One thing to give me hope.

Suzie-Q T-Pie said...

I'm so glad you and the baby are ok!