Bad Things then Good Things

Warning, this post is all over the place, but if you can get through the negative things, I have many positive things listed as well.

So many things are bothering me lately.  The main one is the girl who is aborting on Friday.  I didn't comment on her post, but she is in my thoughts and prayers. I read a lot of the comments yesterday and today.  It gives great insight into the pro choice movement, and I think I will be a better couselor for it, but it is oh so disturbing.  She is very scared of feeling pain and yet...hello, your child is 17 weeks along.  I learned that basically at 20 weeks almost everything is complete.  Your child will feel pain!  Doesn't that at least bother you?!

Secondly, I am upset about the creator of IVF receiving a Nobel prize.  I told my dh yesterday, this man did nothing for women's health.  Nothing.  He helped them cheat the system.  He helped them get what they desperately wanted, a child.  At what cost?  And certainly to no benefit of their health.  Their fertility problems were not solved, only bypassed.  And certainly not to the benefit of the millions of babies that did not make it.  Thank God for Naprotechnology.  Dr. Hilgers needs an award!

Thirdly, I am bothered about a snake being killed.  Yes, a snake.  We had a nice weekend at my in laws, albeit we were there for a funeral (more to support them as we did not know the women well).  Charlie enjoyed playing with his dad's cousins kiddos.  He was not with them, thankfully, when a snake was found.  The younger boys shot it with a bebe gun and did other things I just barely caught wind of and didn't ask for details.  I hate this sort of thing.  It bothers me.  Yes, I kill bugs in my house (correction, I have my dh get rid of them, I scoop them up on paper plates and throw them outside, not because of my kind soul either, I don't have the stomach to kill them) so maybe I am being hypocritical, but this sort of torture for sport thing makes me ill.  My husband didn't get why the snake thing bothered me so much and even polked fun at me about it.  So we ended up getting in a fight about it, which is even more upsetting.

Fourth, a huge fear was realized this past weekend.  I fell.  Pregnant.  With Charlie in my arms!  We are both okay, though traumatized.  I still recall two instances of falling, one with each of my parents.  There is something about not being the one to cause the fall...especially when you are in the arms of someone you trust.  I couldn't stop thinking about that.  Basically I cut through a garden with a small fence since there were many young girls sitting on the steps.  I carried Charlie through the garden (I never carry him), and must have not raised my back leg high enough over the 12 inch fence.  I went face forward with no arms to brace myself.  I threw Charlie out in front of me, knowing I didn't want to land on him and trying to get him to clear the concrete sidewalk and land on the grass.  I have no idea if I was successful.  His head hit hard, that I know, and he was very upset.  I am fine.  The baby is fine.  I didn't land on my stomach, but I managed to take a very large amount of skin off one knee, a little off another and some off an ankle (not sure how I managed all three in one instance).  It didn't help that I was wearing a skirt.  I have no idea if I remained decent while flying through the air.  I gave the girls on the stairs quite a show regardless.  Did I mention I don't even know them.  The least of my problems, but a little salt in the wound to be so vulnerable in front of so many family I had never met.  My embarrassment was contagious-many just adverted their eyes and I found out later those that didn't witness it thought I was sitting comforting a Charlie that fell rather than me being the cause of his needing comfort.  Awful. I hope to never do that again!

And lastly (for the less than happy list), my best friends' dad has been diagnosed with Parkinson's.  This was by his primary care physician so there is a chance the neurologist giving the second opinion will disagree. However, we read online if it isn't this, most likely it is something worse.  The primary care told him it was terminal and since he is 60, that means just 5-10 years.  Online it says it isn't the disease itself but pneumonia or something else that will be the actual cause.  Did I mention he is just 60?  He is newly retired?  A clean healthy living family oriented kind of man. Did I mention he runs daily?  And climbs mountains?

On a much more positive note, there was a beautiful and timely homily this weekend about how prayers aren't answered on our time, but God's and that God has a beautiful plan but it may be fulfilled in our situations in timing beyond our lifetime.  We just have to trust.  Bad things happen to good people.  But God is merciful and just and so it will all be okay in the end.  Reminds me of my favorite magnet-"It will all be okay in the end.  If its not okay, its not the end." Love it!  But you all knew I was a quote person!  So, at least I was able to share this with my best friend and I think she found comfort in it.  Please pray for her dad and her (she is the "spiritual but not religious" type that has become so common in our society....)

Also on a positive note, I am due in about a month.  How crazy is that?!  I am busy working on my dissertation, but many things are done and ready and we are anxious to know what we are having and meet this little one face to face!    I read my weekly babycenter update that describes where I am at perfectly...
"Your baby doesn't have much room to maneuver now that he's over 18 inches long and tips the scales at 5 1/4 pounds.  Because it's so snug in your womb, he isn't likely to be doing somersaults anymore, but the number of times he kicks should remain about the same....If you could peek inside your womb, you'd see that there's more baby than amniotic fluid in there now. Your ballooning uterus is crowding your other internal organs, too, which is why you probably have to urinate more often and may be dealing with heartburn, etc." It's really not bad, it just a perfect description of how crowded things are in there, etc. :)  I am excited that my doctor has ordered another u/s to be on the safe side (due to the clotting issue I have), so next Tuesday I get to see the baby again, which will never get old!

And speaking of old, guess who is turning 2 this Friday?  My Charlie bear!  And if you could just picture him right now saying "two" with a cheesy smile and two index fingers pointed up...he has trouble isolating two fingers on the same hand!  Stay tuned for a post dedicated to him, one on his big boy room, and one on our nursery.  These are my lofty goals! :)

And though I don't have the nifty icon, and though I am still licking my wounds over yesterday, I would like to add that I am grateful for my husband and the fact that he let me have a cleaning women come today since he knows it is very uncomfortable for me to bend over and kills my back and legs!  The house looks awesome and I don't have to worry now about prepping it for the in laws who are coming for Charlie's party.  So thank you, hubs.  And thank you, ladies, for reading a very long and mostly depressing post on a thousand different topics that I was too tired to reread and edit.