1.14.2013

HOPE

It seems impossible, and yet today I find myself full of hope. Yesterday my blood draw came back a 100, so it did double and because it rose I am definitely pregnant. That was my gut feeling due to the preg being negative two days prior to that, but I had mixed emotions with such a low starting number so I am not sure what I wanted to believe. Still, it doubled. Questions remain about the low starting number, but I know there are things we don't know, such as how long it takes to travel and implant. So I know there is some gray area and I am taking it. Choosing to be positive. Celebrating this life that is here growing within me at this moment. I know the prog level was 25, I think from my peak plus 7 (not the one I got when I got the hcg quant) but I will confirm. Still when it was 47, Friday, Dr. Hilgers put me on my high dose progesterone. And even with the 25, he is having me stay on it which is fine by me given it drops when I go off or even down.  So here we are.  Dr. Hilgers also said since it doubled he wanted the IV in immediately. That will likely mean today given the footwork we did ahead of time, but possibly tomorrow since its already 2pm. I will be getting another level tomorrow around 11am, regardless, to see how things are doing. After that I may wait awhile. For a girl with hx of miscarriage, an open hcg quant requisition can be a dangerous thing. :) I am going to attempt to let go and let God after the next set of numbers. I need to call my ob and schedule a 6.5 week ultrasound.  I am so surprised how peaceful I feel. I have had thoughts of names and preparing the boys and then I am surprised I am thinking that way. But somehow this hopefulness has come back. And for that, I really am grateful.

Please pray this hopefulness continues and that dh and I have peace regardless of the outcome of this pregnancy. Also, my mom is having a huge hernia operated on tomorrow. She typically gets nauseated with anesthesia, though they can do a lot to help this now. Also, narcotics make her throw up (same as me). So, please pray they can control her pain and anesthetize her well without her being nauseated. If she vomits, she will literally undo the surgery. Scary. Also, there have been fatalities with a hernia this large. And this surgery isn't always successful. However, she has the best surgeon she could have for this, and we are hopeful it will be successful.

13 comments:

Joy Beyond the Cross said...

Congratulations J! Grow, baby, GROW!!!

E said...

So so so glad to hear this!!! Praying!! Also, maybe just do the oral ABX until 6 weeks or so? I only did oral with E. :)

stacym88 said...

Yeah! Congrats. Prayers continue.

KJL said...

Oh, what news! I have been reading your blog for a little while, and I am so happy to read this today. I have also suffered miscarriage and am recently pregnant.

I pray that both our babies will be healthy, living babies!

May you continue to trust in the Lord!

Kara said...

Praying!

Karen said...

Congratulations!!! Praying for you and this sweet new life!

Suzie-Q T-Pie said...

Congrats!!! Praying :)

Amy @ This Cross I Embrace said...

Congrats!

prayerfuljourney said...

Congrats to you. Hope you can stay positive and give it to God. Hoping your mother's surgery goes well. It's hard to have a parent that is not well.

Chasing said...

Congrats! Will be praying!

Tridentine Wife said...

Congratulations, praying for a good outcome.

polkadot said...

Congratulations! Praying for you and baby!

St. Rita's Roses said...

Where have I been!!???? CONGRATS!!!!!!!!