No Dice

Well, this go round has been different than any other ttc situation as of yet. I am finding my self related to a lot of common IF phenomenon I wasn't previously familiar with. Like now that my hcg shot amount has doubled, almost every month I get to the point of testing-only to get a negative. I knew how fortunate I was before, and how unusual I was. If I got to the point of testing, we were golden. At least as far as a true positive was concerned. Something else is we haven't been able to have three cycles of good trying in a row. We are quite far out from August and would only count two cycles of ttc. And two cycles failed. Of course, statistics say if all is well, it will likely happen next cycle. And Anthony was conceived in three. But I had many more conceived on the first cycle. Again, we realized how fortunate we were. And I know, E, that it may not be the same this time and it may take longer for immune systems to calm, etc.

So far, I am doing well. I was a little disappointed this month, but still have the peace. Dh and I are still discerning taking my nephew into our home, so a lot going on. I honestly just want to do God's will, so still discerning what that is and trying to be open to anything.

P.S. This post was meatier and more articulate in my head in the middle of the night! Guess I should have wrote it then! Had to write it tonight and hit post, before more of it left my head and it just read "not pregnant, come back again next month" lol.


stacym88 said...

Prayers for you and Craig...that peace may remain and you stay in the Wheelbarrow!

Stephanie @ Blessed to Be said...

Praying for you guys! Hope this next cycle is the one!

E said...

The waiting is so hard! I know that when DH is healthy and things are well with his side of things we got pg easily and quickly, but that's not the case for us at this stage so I'm right there with you.

Abigail said...

Just want to send out lots of love and prayer! Can you email me sometime? abigail.b.benjamin(at)gmail(dot)com