Game Changer

So that last post was definitely a downer and not how I feel on a typical day. I felt much better quickly after and decided I would just be open to be a lap as many moms in this group have multiple young ones. Then I went to the intro and found out it takes many volunteers to make this work. So, I signed up to assist in the atrium (we are blessed to have Catechesis of the Good Shepherd montessori curriculum) for my son's class and I would attend the leadership bible study prior. I am so excited! God has a way of making it all work out. Silly me trying to fret and figure it out myself!

So, the last few months or so have been very crazy cycle wise. First, my local napro doc's thyroid labs from my physical indicated low levels and so my Synthroid was moved up to 100 mg. Then Cycle before this current one, I noticed my heart was racing some. Dr. Hilgers took my T3 down to 22.5 just one time a day instead of twice. Following this, I made the following observations:  I am due to start my period any day and have been having some odd (for me) symptoms. For two weeks, my breasts have been sore and even seem larger. Yesterday and today I had bad headaches. My only history with headaches is from hormone drops when I miscarried. Today I had two huge waves of nausea. Yesterday and today I took an early response pregnancy test that was negative. I have not been on any supplements to ovulate or support a pregnancy this cycle (or since Feb). Do you have any guess as to what is causing all of this? Is this an indication the full treatment last Aug may have naturally helped me increase my own hormone levels?  This is just so odd for me! Typically, my hormones are pretty non existent (throughout the whole cycle-I don't ovulate) on my own...I emailed this info to Dr. Toth who gave the following response: It sounds like, you have dropped an egg on your own. The symptoms could all be related. Did you try for a pregnancy this month? I let him know we didn't specifically aim to try or avoid, and did have intercourse around ovulation. However, I head to the bathroom pretty quick to follow the SF instructions, which in the past has had a similar result to avoiding. I replied back I was worried about infection. He said  Forget about the infection and add post ovulatory support. I did not add post peak support that cycle as I was ready to start my period and didn't know for sure my day of ovulation.  However, following this correspondence, I downloaded the FertilityMD ap that allows you to chart like Creighton by using the notes features and also documented things like nausea, diarrhea, headaches, etc. Girls, you want to know how many days of Peak type CM I had? 7. That is not at all typical for me (I usually have 1-3, sometimes 5, but rarely). I had hcg at home so I utilized it post peak that cycle (which is this cycle). That was not easy. I gave one in my thigh, but it took a long time to psych myself up so dh sucked it up and gave me two more.  Per Hilger's and Toth's request, I got a Peak plus 7 draw this cycle to check for ovulation. Of course, that had to fall on Sunday of Labor Day weekend when we were out of town, so I waited until Monday and just did a P+8 instead. The results are not yet in as that was 2 days ago. I also did a thyroid panel at that time, which was mailed for PPVI to analyze. I continue to have crazy nausea, etc.

The theory we are checking is that Dr. Toth's treatment worked. The infection is cleared and as a result my body is functioning as it was always meant to for the first time ever that we know of. Like how the treatment resulted in my tubes not being inflamed and thus opening naturally. The big issues I have could all be a result of infection, we knew that. No infection may mean no issues. 

What does that mean for us ttc? Before, we were always trying to work around the infection. We were trying to suppress it long enough to have a successful pregnancy. We were trying to make myself ovulate when I didn't naturally, we were trying to compensate for all the issues. If the infection is gone and I ovulate on my own (and only if I ovulate on my own-no more Clomid for me ever), that's a game changer for Craig and I. We are not trying to avoid a pregnancy that could happen naturally. We were done trying to force one to happen. It's a big difference. We are open to life. We are not, however, required to pursue every treatment. That was no longer healthy for us physically or emotionally. 

How will we know if the infection is gone? While I have not seen TEBB, the real test for us in this case would be ovulating on my own. That's our own determination. We are not anti all meds. I did do the post peak support because I am not willing to roll the dice that my body healed in that way at the expense of a potentially newly growing baby. Where I stand on taking oral antibiotics just in case if we do end up pregnant, I do not know. I haven't gotten that far. I will say that, perhaps jumping the gun, I did not do the SF instructions immediately after intercourse. So from that standpoint, we actively tried this month, rather than waiting for the blood draw to see if I was ovulating. 

What is funny about this? Where to begin?! The Toth treatment, it doesn't just work instantly. And I knew that. But Dr. Toth had us ttc right after. I don't know why. Maybe he was concerned for us re timing and didn't want to waste any even if that meant a possible miscarriage while my body was healing. Clearly I wasn't interested in rolling that dice. I had TEBB and I was done. Disappointed, but done. The treatment didn't work. My mind never went back there. I laugh now. It didn't occur to me that healing would take some time, despite reading that on the Toth discussion boards etc. It totally left my mind. So the chance this worked as we intended it to, well that didn't enter my mind as a thought until Dr. Toth brought it up. I was a little dense. 

What if I didn't ovulate? That's okay. Really. I totally have peace it is in God's hands. If he wants us to continue to grow our family biologically, we are open to it. He will show us, we strongly feel, by ovulating on my own. So if there is no ovulation, it wasn't His plan. The plan we made when the TEBB appeared after Toth is still the plan-no more ovulation meds. We still stand by that. So really its been no change since the beginning. We just have to keep in mind our intent with that, and desire God's will above ours. And so we are at great peace regardless. But i will say, I might go to my primary physician and try to sort some of these symptoms out if they aren't ovulation/hormonal.