Dr. Hilgers was kind enough to write me (some time ago, sorry for the delay) and let me know about the different levels of training Napro docs can get. Many of you, especially fertilitycare practitioners yourself, already know this. But others, like me, had no idea (thank you for those of you who did start to explain it to me under the comments section of previous posts and via email; the letter explained this in more detail). This stemmed from the fact that at one time I saw a doc I thought was Napro (referred to by my former practitioner) and came to find out he only completed half the training once and never attended anything else to learn more. While he was the nicest physician ever, it was frustrating. Frustrating, but not disastrous because I am insanely fortunate to be on my second insurance that covers Dr. H as in network even though we are out of state (though I still curse them regularly, I am forever grateful)! Napro docs are listed on the fertilitycare.org site, but it doesn't distinguish the level of training, only that they've received it. Here is what I learned. First of all there are NFP only docs, and while arguably doing something noble and good and need our support and prayers, they have not received any training in Naprotechnology and therefore will not be qualified to just "wing it." It is something that definitely requires specified training. I have a wonderful ob/gyn that is NFP only at this time. I go to him as "baby catcher" since Dr. H still manages my care. I am excited to report to the locals that he will be attending the training in the fall, which is huge as he is the ONLY ob/gyn in this large metropolitan area that will be trained in Napro! I digress...
The letter explained the levels of actual training available. They are:
1. The medical consultant program, which is 16 days long and the basics are covered. There is a variety of physicians that come out of this, some good and some that just seek the certificate.
2. The next level is Certified Fertility Care Medical consultation. They do the same program but get additional certification through the organization that requires some peer review of cases and a three hr exam based on Hilger's textbook. I personally have found the good docs own and refer to this book regularly. Good is my own term, here being defined as "adhering closely to Dr. Hilgers' methods." Dr. Hilgers himself said this group "is the most enthusiastic and generally involved in their practice."
3. Finally, the most advanced program is the ob/gyn that has done the fellowship program to learn the surgical aspect of napro. They also know the medical components, but the surgery component allows them to be skilled at Hilgers' high tech methods of less adhesions/scar tissue and tube repair etc. In my opinion, these are the docs for sure well worth traveling several hours to go see for surgery if they are closer than Dr. H and/or Dr. H isn't covered by insurance. Personally, I would never trust another doc with even a lap again. Scarring is too big of a deal.
I am grateful for Dr. Hilgers, his methods, and his network of trained professionals. I am sorry this information isn't more readily available, but now you have it. Your personal experience and thoughts are welcome.
I am on the journey we are all called to-to accept God's will and perfect love. Whether I am white knuckling it with my eyes shut tight or standing up with my arms outstretched enjoying the ride, I try always to let God be the driver and not bail out the side when there are bumps (like IF!). On good days, I trust He won't run me into a tree. :)
Showing posts with label CrMS. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CrMS. Show all posts
5.28.2010
2.11.2010
Why Going to the Ob/Gyn Always Raises My Blood Pressure (and other randomness)
Today I had an appt with my relatively new ob/gyn (referred to as #4 in past posts, though I realized today he is technically #5-yikes!) This is the one I switched to after the birth of Charlie. For the story on that, click here. I have a tip for any of you who might potentially be switching doctors. Even if you think you are only doing it once, instead of sending a copy of your medical records to your doctor directly, get that copy for yourself instead (and then ask any doctors you see to copy them from yours). The reason being that there is usually a fee-sometimes cheap and sometimes ridiculous. One of my past ob/gyn charged $16 and then 56 cents a page (why isn't there a cents sign on the keyboard!). Anyway, thank goodness my state has a law that they can't charge over $50 as I have quite a chart! I made the mistake of paying that $50 to have them transferred to a doctor, and then the doctor couldn't transfer them to my new ob/gyn because of HIP.PA. They can only send records that have originated in their office. A pain!
Now I have had some bad ob/gyn experiences, but the worst is detailed here. Because it is a long post (aren't they all?!) that includes my 2nd pregnancy, I highlighted the relevant part in dark blue. I was going to my appt today for an annual as part of my "things to do before you start ttc" list (I had x-rays last week at the dental office, have consumed massive amounts of raw cookie dough and moderate amounts of alcohol-yes, sometimes at the same time).
Going to the ob/gyn is always a bit of a nerve racking experience, and I am sure you ladies can probably relate. First there is the fact that you have lots of information to tell them. And it's all very important. If you are like me, summarizing doesn't come easily. And you know they don't have a lot of time. And you don't want to come off psycho. To combat this, this time I brought my records from the 2 ob/gyns that matter-the one I had miscarriages with and the one that delivered my son. Then last night I drew up a summary sheet. This idea was inspired by another blogger, and also because I was appalled at all the errors I read in my previous charts (information that supposedly came from me was misquoted). I made myself limit it to one page, but I had to go front and back. It started with a chart-diagnosis in one column, treatment in another, and how it was discovered and by who in the 3rd. Then I had a short paragraph summarizing each of my 3 pregnancies. I often have my docs fax each other, so their names and contact information was in the header. I love organization and have a weird love of treating IF like an occupation (still waiting for the paycheck), so I was pretty proud of myself. He genuinely seemed to appreciate it. Secondly (have you forgotten point #1 already? I don't blame you, it was a lot of words ago!), the information is usually unpleasant to talk about. For example, why must they ask "how many pregnancies?" and "how many live births?" That has to be the most insensitive question ever! And then they confirm: "because of miscarriage?" Seriously? I mean, first I had to fill it out on the paper and then you have to make me verbalize it? But it made me think, why else?! And then I had that "duh" moment where I realize people who actually don't want to get pregnant but do, and in way too many of these cases, they abort. Sobering thought. Then I realized some of those women probably don't like that question either. I imagine there is enough of us, between both camps, to get a petition going. Anyway, between these two reasons, my blood pressure is always elevated at the ob/gyn!
The appt went as wonderfully as an annual can go. First of all, I had to get rid of some pesky yeast (sorry TMI), as you can imagine that would put a damper on ttc; getting it was unavoidable since my 40 days of antibiotics (nothing spiritual about the # in that context; also not the norm-I take 10 days of biaxin cyclically, then doubled amox last month so 10 days due to long mucus phase, 5 day z-pack for infection tied to respiratory junk that stays in your system 10 days and then, bam, time for another 10 days biaxin cyclically again!) I was a little dense though and let it get raging bad before I called Dr. H for diflu.can and it was not doing the trick. So ob/gyn did see that on the slide and gave me another script (this time with 5 refills for future-good to have! Esp b/c I forgot to ask for one for dh-Dr. H always gives it to both of us). Secondly, I was worried about bladder infection because despite the crazy load of antibiotics, I have had blood in my urine (my only symptom). They tested and found something. Interesting. They are going to do further tests since they hate to put me on more antibiotics unless it's necessary. Which leads me to wonder what the hell can survive all that has already been given? Scary. More on that later. The third thing I wanted to get accomplished today was to remind my ob/gyn who I am since I have only seen him once, and what my ttc and pregnancy protocols are. He totally wowed me by doing his homework before he walked in and confirming all of that before I opened my mouth. He got triple bonus points for rejecting my gift of "Physicians Healed" since he already owns it, read it, loved it (he doesn't prescribe contraception-part of why I switched). And he recently bought Dr. Hilgers' text book and is really enjoying it. Hoping and praying that he will get trained in Omaha as he is Catholic, totally living it even as an ob/gyn, and we have zero napro trained ob/gyns in my area, shockingly.
So, the appt went great and all continues to be on track to ttc when fertile CM decides to appear (CD 14 and nothing yet) if I can get rid of this UTI and yeast infection!
Now I have had some bad ob/gyn experiences, but the worst is detailed here. Because it is a long post (aren't they all?!) that includes my 2nd pregnancy, I highlighted the relevant part in dark blue. I was going to my appt today for an annual as part of my "things to do before you start ttc" list (I had x-rays last week at the dental office, have consumed massive amounts of raw cookie dough and moderate amounts of alcohol-yes, sometimes at the same time).
Going to the ob/gyn is always a bit of a nerve racking experience, and I am sure you ladies can probably relate. First there is the fact that you have lots of information to tell them. And it's all very important. If you are like me, summarizing doesn't come easily. And you know they don't have a lot of time. And you don't want to come off psycho. To combat this, this time I brought my records from the 2 ob/gyns that matter-the one I had miscarriages with and the one that delivered my son. Then last night I drew up a summary sheet. This idea was inspired by another blogger, and also because I was appalled at all the errors I read in my previous charts (information that supposedly came from me was misquoted). I made myself limit it to one page, but I had to go front and back. It started with a chart-diagnosis in one column, treatment in another, and how it was discovered and by who in the 3rd. Then I had a short paragraph summarizing each of my 3 pregnancies. I often have my docs fax each other, so their names and contact information was in the header. I love organization and have a weird love of treating IF like an occupation (still waiting for the paycheck), so I was pretty proud of myself. He genuinely seemed to appreciate it. Secondly (have you forgotten point #1 already? I don't blame you, it was a lot of words ago!), the information is usually unpleasant to talk about. For example, why must they ask "how many pregnancies?" and "how many live births?" That has to be the most insensitive question ever! And then they confirm: "because of miscarriage?" Seriously? I mean, first I had to fill it out on the paper and then you have to make me verbalize it? But it made me think, why else?! And then I had that "duh" moment where I realize people who actually don't want to get pregnant but do, and in way too many of these cases, they abort. Sobering thought. Then I realized some of those women probably don't like that question either. I imagine there is enough of us, between both camps, to get a petition going. Anyway, between these two reasons, my blood pressure is always elevated at the ob/gyn!
The appt went as wonderfully as an annual can go. First of all, I had to get rid of some pesky yeast (sorry TMI), as you can imagine that would put a damper on ttc; getting it was unavoidable since my 40 days of antibiotics (nothing spiritual about the # in that context; also not the norm-I take 10 days of biaxin cyclically, then doubled amox last month so 10 days due to long mucus phase, 5 day z-pack for infection tied to respiratory junk that stays in your system 10 days and then, bam, time for another 10 days biaxin cyclically again!) I was a little dense though and let it get raging bad before I called Dr. H for diflu.can and it was not doing the trick. So ob/gyn did see that on the slide and gave me another script (this time with 5 refills for future-good to have! Esp b/c I forgot to ask for one for dh-Dr. H always gives it to both of us). Secondly, I was worried about bladder infection because despite the crazy load of antibiotics, I have had blood in my urine (my only symptom). They tested and found something. Interesting. They are going to do further tests since they hate to put me on more antibiotics unless it's necessary. Which leads me to wonder what the hell can survive all that has already been given? Scary. More on that later. The third thing I wanted to get accomplished today was to remind my ob/gyn who I am since I have only seen him once, and what my ttc and pregnancy protocols are. He totally wowed me by doing his homework before he walked in and confirming all of that before I opened my mouth. He got triple bonus points for rejecting my gift of "Physicians Healed" since he already owns it, read it, loved it (he doesn't prescribe contraception-part of why I switched). And he recently bought Dr. Hilgers' text book and is really enjoying it. Hoping and praying that he will get trained in Omaha as he is Catholic, totally living it even as an ob/gyn, and we have zero napro trained ob/gyns in my area, shockingly.
So, the appt went great and all continues to be on track to ttc when fertile CM decides to appear (CD 14 and nothing yet) if I can get rid of this UTI and yeast infection!
1.27.2010
All Napro Doctors are NOT Alike-slightly Updated
I struggled thinking about this post. I want a happy ending. Then I decided that maybe this post would launch discussion and that your comments would help complete the picture. I am genuinely interested in your thoughts.
I often recommend that folks chart using the CrMS and take advantage of Naprotechnology. I believe in the methods with all my heart-for those who are Catholic and those who aren't. For those who struggle with IF and those that don't. I put my stamp of approval on it. Some people have asked my opinion and respected it enough to learn to chart and seek out a medical consultant. On some level I am so happy about this. But at some extent, I cringe because for those that really could benefit most from it, my advice often leads them to the same place. Omaha. And sometimes Omaha, though the best possible option, isn't an option at all. It can be expensive, obviously, if the insurance coverage isn't there. It can be time consuming if you have to be there for 2 weeks like I was (usually worst case scenario, just waiting and waiting for you to ovulate). Some people simply can't take off work or don't have the money. I know this. And it makes my heart ache.
Now, I firmly believe with all my heart that even if one was to pay cash to see Dr. Hilgers, it would be worth it. He saves time. Lots of it. And by being so quick, he often saves money (a big chunk spent now or a little here and there for a very long time). But that is easy for me to say-afterall, my insurance covered him (miraculously)-both the one before I was married and the one I have now. Some very good and discerning Catholic friends have drawn lines about how far they will go to treat their IF. They will not basically mortgage their home, etc. I respect that. We all have to have boundaries or IF would lead us all off the deep end, financially and emotionally.
So is it wrong that I suggest Napro and CrMS to these folks? I have justified it saying it is always best to give them all the information so they can decide for themselves what is best. It isn't for me to decide, but if I know something that might help, I have the responsibility to share it. But I have seen, in some cases, my suggestion lead to heartache. And that hurts me too.
What I want is for Dr. Hilgers' network of doctors to be just that. I want for folks to have someone nearer to them, more accessible financially and physically, that they can count on to deliver Dr. Hilgers' tried and true methods. But I am increasingly discouraged at what is being delivered. What I can't help but describe as Dr. Hilgers LITE (this is relatively limited experience, granted; I live in an area with 3 Napro docs that are all primary care physicians-none have received hard core training; I have listened to other's experiences as well online, through emails and discussion boards). When I see folks given large (greater than 50 mg) doses of Clomid right off the bat or otherwise hyperstimulated. When I see folks given progesterone that isn't progesterone in oil. When I see folks getting blood drawn and run at local labs instead of shipped to Omaha. When I see pregnant girls being told their placenta will take over production of the progesterone after 12-14 weeks and thus taken off their supplements without data. I GET FRUSTRATED! And I know I have read TCIE get frustrated about the Tamox situation which I don't know enough to comment on .
I know Dr. Hilgers must get frustrated too. I say this because I have friends who have had laps and ultrasound series done locally with someone who said trained in Napro. These show no problems, yet these girls try for years to become pregnant unsuccessfully. Finally, they send their charts in to Dr. Hilgers and what does he recommend? An ultrasound series, a hormone series, a lab-with him in Omaha. Clearly he thinks the way he does things is different. And that is where you receive the benefit. He does everything the best and he does it all at once-"one stop shopping" I consistently say. But what about the folks that don't want to go Omaha? Can't? I struggle with this.
Systems change is a big part of my field. We do trainer of trainers and try to spread "our methods" to others. I must tell you, it often fails. It is watered down. Folks don't have the resources to devote to receive the training we have and to implement it with the same fidelity. It seems so many things have to be aligned just so. And so it fails. It is a hard field to be in, certainly not for the faint of heart. More like the eternal optimist.
I know that Dr. Hilgers doesn't desire to have the monopoly on IF treatment. He is not at all that type of man. He wants others to learn from him, to carry it out. His actions have shown that. After all he isn't going to live forever. It seems the only person he can truly vouch for is Dr. Keefe in his office. I imagine the amount of time and money that would go into the oversight to ensure that this network of professionals are truly carrying out his methods in the purest fashion would be too great. He is only one man, after all. But there is some responsibility. They are respresenting his brainchild when they use the name Napro medical consultant.
I have an email out to Fertility Care regarding their medical consultants list on the website. It has questions such as, why don't Dr. Stegman and others of that calebar share a special distinction that is noted on the site. And what does it take to get the current distinction? And to keep it? I noticed one of the doctors locally that I have criticized in the past has been removed from the site. I want to know why. And why my current doctor (primary care) is not on there. If they are not current, Fertility Care practioners should at least receive an email updating them to who has been removed and why in their area. That seems like a simple step that may help?
I am not writing this post to attack any Napro medical consultant in particular and my experience is a mix of local and national. I am not trying to make anyone feel bad or put anyone on the defensive. My goal is to use our experience to educate each other. I want everyone to be able to discern for themselves if they are getting care in a manner that Dr. Hilgers would give, if that is what they want. If they are getting different, they should know about it. I mean, even "local" medical consultants can be a good distance away. And like me, maybe you are globally recommending something where all Napro medical consultants are not alike. And then we are putting our name behind something. I think I can answer some questions pretty well about "would Dr. Hilgers do this?" related to the experiences I have had, but there are also a lot of new things going on that are outside of my experience. Certainly with all our experiences combined we can answer this with some certainty though? And help each other discern?
Thank you for reading a post that is very close to my heart. It is only one person's perspective and therefore incomplete until you respond. I want to hear from you. I want to know your thoughts and reactions. I want to know if you know if you are getting Dr. Hilgers lite or not. Or would you know if you are? I want to know about your bad experiences and with who so other's don't experience the same. I want to know who are the big names in Napro and where they are located. How did you learn of them? They don't seem to be listed on the site any differently. Does anyone know what criteria it takes to get on the list? Is there monitoring to stay on the list (I have an email out to find this out from the source). Do you agree with my list of criticisms? Or do you think it is okay if doctor's who are Napro do these things? Maybe they don't matter? Maybe you don't want your blood sent out? Do you want to add anything that isn't Napro or is Napro lite?
Part of my goal with this blog is to share my experience-how I was able to VERY quickly and inexpensively find out the problem and treat it successfully by going directly to Dr. Hilgers. (And my case was not easy, not at all open and shut). I want to document my effective experience so if you are not getting similarly quick and effective care, then you question why and figure out how it can happen differently for you; you can discern if your doctor is the best doctor for you. (And I know the answer for everyone can't be-go directly to Omaha).
Update: I am so frustrated I didn't update this earlier to include the response I received. It did explains levels of training, recognize that there is a problem, and that it is being worked on. Unfortunately, I no longer have access to that email. I apologize. If anyone asks Omaha and gets a response, please let me know and I will post it here.
I often recommend that folks chart using the CrMS and take advantage of Naprotechnology. I believe in the methods with all my heart-for those who are Catholic and those who aren't. For those who struggle with IF and those that don't. I put my stamp of approval on it. Some people have asked my opinion and respected it enough to learn to chart and seek out a medical consultant. On some level I am so happy about this. But at some extent, I cringe because for those that really could benefit most from it, my advice often leads them to the same place. Omaha. And sometimes Omaha, though the best possible option, isn't an option at all. It can be expensive, obviously, if the insurance coverage isn't there. It can be time consuming if you have to be there for 2 weeks like I was (usually worst case scenario, just waiting and waiting for you to ovulate). Some people simply can't take off work or don't have the money. I know this. And it makes my heart ache.
Now, I firmly believe with all my heart that even if one was to pay cash to see Dr. Hilgers, it would be worth it. He saves time. Lots of it. And by being so quick, he often saves money (a big chunk spent now or a little here and there for a very long time). But that is easy for me to say-afterall, my insurance covered him (miraculously)-both the one before I was married and the one I have now. Some very good and discerning Catholic friends have drawn lines about how far they will go to treat their IF. They will not basically mortgage their home, etc. I respect that. We all have to have boundaries or IF would lead us all off the deep end, financially and emotionally.
So is it wrong that I suggest Napro and CrMS to these folks? I have justified it saying it is always best to give them all the information so they can decide for themselves what is best. It isn't for me to decide, but if I know something that might help, I have the responsibility to share it. But I have seen, in some cases, my suggestion lead to heartache. And that hurts me too.
What I want is for Dr. Hilgers' network of doctors to be just that. I want for folks to have someone nearer to them, more accessible financially and physically, that they can count on to deliver Dr. Hilgers' tried and true methods. But I am increasingly discouraged at what is being delivered. What I can't help but describe as Dr. Hilgers LITE (this is relatively limited experience, granted; I live in an area with 3 Napro docs that are all primary care physicians-none have received hard core training; I have listened to other's experiences as well online, through emails and discussion boards). When I see folks given large (greater than 50 mg) doses of Clomid right off the bat or otherwise hyperstimulated. When I see folks given progesterone that isn't progesterone in oil. When I see folks getting blood drawn and run at local labs instead of shipped to Omaha. When I see pregnant girls being told their placenta will take over production of the progesterone after 12-14 weeks and thus taken off their supplements without data. I GET FRUSTRATED! And I know I have read TCIE get frustrated about the Tamox situation which I don't know enough to comment on .
I know Dr. Hilgers must get frustrated too. I say this because I have friends who have had laps and ultrasound series done locally with someone who said trained in Napro. These show no problems, yet these girls try for years to become pregnant unsuccessfully. Finally, they send their charts in to Dr. Hilgers and what does he recommend? An ultrasound series, a hormone series, a lab-with him in Omaha. Clearly he thinks the way he does things is different. And that is where you receive the benefit. He does everything the best and he does it all at once-"one stop shopping" I consistently say. But what about the folks that don't want to go Omaha? Can't? I struggle with this.
Systems change is a big part of my field. We do trainer of trainers and try to spread "our methods" to others. I must tell you, it often fails. It is watered down. Folks don't have the resources to devote to receive the training we have and to implement it with the same fidelity. It seems so many things have to be aligned just so. And so it fails. It is a hard field to be in, certainly not for the faint of heart. More like the eternal optimist.
I know that Dr. Hilgers doesn't desire to have the monopoly on IF treatment. He is not at all that type of man. He wants others to learn from him, to carry it out. His actions have shown that. After all he isn't going to live forever. It seems the only person he can truly vouch for is Dr. Keefe in his office. I imagine the amount of time and money that would go into the oversight to ensure that this network of professionals are truly carrying out his methods in the purest fashion would be too great. He is only one man, after all. But there is some responsibility. They are respresenting his brainchild when they use the name Napro medical consultant.
I have an email out to Fertility Care regarding their medical consultants list on the website. It has questions such as, why don't Dr. Stegman and others of that calebar share a special distinction that is noted on the site. And what does it take to get the current distinction? And to keep it? I noticed one of the doctors locally that I have criticized in the past has been removed from the site. I want to know why. And why my current doctor (primary care) is not on there. If they are not current, Fertility Care practioners should at least receive an email updating them to who has been removed and why in their area. That seems like a simple step that may help?
I am not writing this post to attack any Napro medical consultant in particular and my experience is a mix of local and national. I am not trying to make anyone feel bad or put anyone on the defensive. My goal is to use our experience to educate each other. I want everyone to be able to discern for themselves if they are getting care in a manner that Dr. Hilgers would give, if that is what they want. If they are getting different, they should know about it. I mean, even "local" medical consultants can be a good distance away. And like me, maybe you are globally recommending something where all Napro medical consultants are not alike. And then we are putting our name behind something. I think I can answer some questions pretty well about "would Dr. Hilgers do this?" related to the experiences I have had, but there are also a lot of new things going on that are outside of my experience. Certainly with all our experiences combined we can answer this with some certainty though? And help each other discern?
Thank you for reading a post that is very close to my heart. It is only one person's perspective and therefore incomplete until you respond. I want to hear from you. I want to know your thoughts and reactions. I want to know if you know if you are getting Dr. Hilgers lite or not. Or would you know if you are? I want to know about your bad experiences and with who so other's don't experience the same. I want to know who are the big names in Napro and where they are located. How did you learn of them? They don't seem to be listed on the site any differently. Does anyone know what criteria it takes to get on the list? Is there monitoring to stay on the list (I have an email out to find this out from the source). Do you agree with my list of criticisms? Or do you think it is okay if doctor's who are Napro do these things? Maybe they don't matter? Maybe you don't want your blood sent out? Do you want to add anything that isn't Napro or is Napro lite?
Part of my goal with this blog is to share my experience-how I was able to VERY quickly and inexpensively find out the problem and treat it successfully by going directly to Dr. Hilgers. (And my case was not easy, not at all open and shut). I want to document my effective experience so if you are not getting similarly quick and effective care, then you question why and figure out how it can happen differently for you; you can discern if your doctor is the best doctor for you. (And I know the answer for everyone can't be-go directly to Omaha).
Update: I am so frustrated I didn't update this earlier to include the response I received. It did explains levels of training, recognize that there is a problem, and that it is being worked on. Unfortunately, I no longer have access to that email. I apologize. If anyone asks Omaha and gets a response, please let me know and I will post it here.
12.18.2008
Tying the Knot and If at First You Don't Conceive...
Our wedding was beautiful, picture perfect in my mind. I was so happy to be marrying such a wonderful man. There was no cloud over us, as we were excited to give of ourselves fully and completely as God intended. This time we were doing it right! The readings came from Tobit, the prayer with Sarah, and Romans 12:1-2 about giving your body as a living sacrifice. Good friend said she almost stood up and shouted Amen! at that part because we were really doing it!
I remember some things I said in those early days. I was insightful enough to say “how do you prepare to have a baby this cycle and also know you might not ever have one?” I knew it was impossible to stay impartial that way. I vowed to both be excited to have a baby and also to make the most of our time being without children. Something else I said in those early days, “I am not going to let this take over our lives!” Little did I know the fears, the emotions, the learning and physical requirements of it all would very much make their way into every crevice of our lives. I was naïve, yet I am not complaining because, as you will see, we were so very fortunate. Already we knew we were blessed. We knew that we had more diagnosis than some get in a lifetime (I was pained for the women who had “undiagnosed fertility”). I knew we had hit the ground running when time was so precious. I knew God had rewarded our giving up premarital relations and giving everything over to Him without holding back. The direct result of this was giving up the pill, turning to charging for health reasons, getting a referral for the creator of the charting system (Dr. Hilger’s in Omaha) and coming away from my trip with a handful of diagnosis and another one of treatments-yes, things that could be done about what I had. It wasn't that we were special, quite the opposite; it was that God wants to do these things for everyone, but we had seen our error early and were now changing our ways and letting give us these precious gifts.
So we were hopeful and we were blessed. And yet I was more than a little jealous when friend said that after she got married, they weren’t going to try and they weren’t go to avoid and they would see what would happen. With pcos, endometriosis, low progesterone and estrogen post ovulation, complete lack of ovulation on my own, thyroid and clotting issues, DH and I would never be able to “just see what happens.” You see, because I don’t ovulate without a pill, I either take it or I don’t. And if I don’t do my post-ovulatory shots, I would doom a baby to be miscarried. Yes, a lot of responsibility, but we had a sound moral method to achieve or avoid and so we made our choice to try to achieve.
We tried for two cycles with no results. My sis JB was also trying during that time I believe and one day we had a funny conversation. She was asking me if I put my legs up on the wall afterwards. Of course not, I said. I refused to be caught up in silly wives tales. (and there are a lot of them that come with infertility). I was placing my hope in hard science, and of course faith, and only do treatments that were called for by my diagnoses. I figured this was “function-based” which is similar to what I do in my job (function-based interventions for children with behavior problems). I knew how much it helped in my job, to narrow things down, and I refused to be like so many women doing treatments of this and that without knowing if that was even their problem. I wasn’t judging, but I didn’t want to be desperate like that. With my faith came peace that many with IF don't have. I was grateful to God for the diagnosis we already had.
But even though I wasn’t going to engage in silly wives’ tales, one thing sis JB said stuck in my head; it was about waiting to pee. I had seminal fluid instructions to follow post intercourse as part of CrMS. I had learned these in my sessions. I had asked my fertility care provider at the last appt, did we still do them when we are trying to achieve? Yes, she said, they are about hygiene and avoiding observation confusion. And so each time we had intercourse, I promptly got up and urinated. Silly me. I asked sis JB to return my NFP book I left at her house when I lived there and looked up seminal fluid instructions. I learned that while you still do them within an hour after intercourse, you wait 30 minutes at least when you are trying to achieve. So, validating the wives’ tale with science, I was excited! There was a reason we weren’t getting pregnant. I could do something about it! And so next time, not only did I not urinate for 59 minutes (haha!) but I had my legs up on the wall for good measure.
The beginning of Physical Healing and Authentic Treatment
Well, obviously future DH didn't leave me (or I wouldn't be calling him future dear husband, lol). It wasn't easy, he was full of questions and I answered them as best I could. He was confused, hurting, struggling, and everything else you'd expect. But to his credit, he hung in there. With the help of the Holy Spirit, he survived and our relationship with God, and each other, was strengthened.
Because I knew I had endometriosis since I was 16, and that previously the pill had been used to treat this, I knew I needed something else. Because I had great faith filled married friends in my life using Natural Family Planning (NFP), I knew it was an option for health reasons. It took this conversion to realize that the pill as the only option was an opinion, not a fact. Not only that it came from doctors who do not respect life. For them, it is an easy way out, a band-aid that covered up symptoms. It is not an authentic treatment. Seeking authentic treatment for endometriosis brought me to NFP, specifically the Creighton Model (CrMS), which only involves observation.
I learned to chart on my own, without future DH. He was not against it, and was minimally supportive, but he did not really know his role his since we weren’t even engaged at the time. He went to the intro session with me, but not the follow ups. He understood why I was doing this, and didn’t disagree.
I used the charts to consult locally with a primary care physician trained in NFP (unfortunately there are no ob/gyns in our area). From him I got a surgery referral to Dr. Hilger’s of Omaha, the creator of the Creighton model. He was "the best of the best" to do the surgery, I was told. Through another act of God, while on the phone with the office scheduling the surgery, I became aware that he was also willing to review charts sent in the mail for a small fee and make recommendations, so I decided to do this as well. This was in Dec. 2005.
By the time the letter came back with recommendations, in Feb 2006, future DH has just proposed to me. We chose to fully pursue the testing that was recommended based off red flags Dr. Hilger’s found in my charting. Future DH became more actively involved in my treatment and decisions.
Because I knew I had endometriosis since I was 16, and that previously the pill had been used to treat this, I knew I needed something else. Because I had great faith filled married friends in my life using Natural Family Planning (NFP), I knew it was an option for health reasons. It took this conversion to realize that the pill as the only option was an opinion, not a fact. Not only that it came from doctors who do not respect life. For them, it is an easy way out, a band-aid that covered up symptoms. It is not an authentic treatment. Seeking authentic treatment for endometriosis brought me to NFP, specifically the Creighton Model (CrMS), which only involves observation.
I learned to chart on my own, without future DH. He was not against it, and was minimally supportive, but he did not really know his role his since we weren’t even engaged at the time. He went to the intro session with me, but not the follow ups. He understood why I was doing this, and didn’t disagree.
I used the charts to consult locally with a primary care physician trained in NFP (unfortunately there are no ob/gyns in our area). From him I got a surgery referral to Dr. Hilger’s of Omaha, the creator of the Creighton model. He was "the best of the best" to do the surgery, I was told. Through another act of God, while on the phone with the office scheduling the surgery, I became aware that he was also willing to review charts sent in the mail for a small fee and make recommendations, so I decided to do this as well. This was in Dec. 2005.
By the time the letter came back with recommendations, in Feb 2006, future DH has just proposed to me. We chose to fully pursue the testing that was recommended based off red flags Dr. Hilger’s found in my charting. Future DH became more actively involved in my treatment and decisions.
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