Gerard

I definitely told too many people actually. And I don't care. My husband might, but it's not his coping mechanism. The more people equals the more prayers. So bloggers, Facebook people I don't run into in real life, my best friend, two sisters, my mom, the priest, a former neighbor, my son's godparents...you get the idea. But I appreciate the prayers more than you'll ever know!

The last 24 hrs have been surreal. I am still feeling happy about things. I have many people praying for us. I started my day with mass, then confession, then telling our story to the priest and getting a blessing for the baby.

Mass was beyond wonderful. The readings, the songs. Everything spoke to me. Even the priest who said it's name is Fr. Gerard. Seriously! The Gospel was about healing. Fr. Gerard told me his mom had five losses before him, three babies in three years live, and then a surprise ten years later. He made  great suggestion that during the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord (Feb. 2nd) that I offer our baby to God. Love this priest!

When I told a former neighbor at mass I was pregnant, as she is an awesome prayer warrior, she told me she was sure it was a boy and not to think she was crazy. I didn't, I had been thinking the same thing. Funny, I hadn't had any sense with my other two, but I always have feelings about the babies I lose. I don't know. I have been thinking of this baby as Kolbe, as in Maximilian. Last night Charlie said to me he was his favorite saint out of nowhere. So there are funny things like that which make me smile.

Here's another one. This baby is number seven, a very significant number in the bible related to God's promises. I wanted more info (I just remember Scott Hahn saying "seven oneself" related to making a covenant) and I found this: Seven is the symbolic number of charity, grace, and the Holy Spirit. It is the term that stands for perfection. There are seven sacraments, seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, seven deadly sins, seven joys, and seven sorrows of Our Lady. 

Of course it relates to the Holy Spirit. Because more than any other relationship, that is how I connect to God best. I wear a dove on my necklace, and the Holy Spirit prayer is my most frequently stated prayer. Baby seven. Already making history merely by being conceived.

And one more (I am really just rattling on here, but I like to look back and remember these details), today I met an Annabelle. Each one of our babies was going to be Annabelle Grace if a girl. And I have never met one until today. I even made her spell it. :) I just looked up at God and smiled. It was random I even asked. I just feel like God is sending me little assurances. Not assurances like this baby will definitely live. Not like that. I give this baby to God every second of the day. But just keeping my spirits good and knowing He is in control. He has a plan for me. A plan for Good! Oh yes, Jeremiah 29:11 is the bible verse of the month at my son's preschool. It must be a new thing because I have never seen it before, but now I see it and smile. And I think, yep, you've got this.

As I float in my peace bubble, something could have popped it today. But it didn't. And that is your prayers my friends. Today I emailed Dr. Toth and just asked-antibiotics warranted? And he said, yes, just in case, Cleocin....whatever. So Hilgers was nice enough to call it in, and I made my way to Target way too late at night tonight with two tired boys on my own (husband is working crazy hrs this time of year). Only to find out that Cleocin is Clindamyacin. Which is something I am immune too, and he said he wouldn't order again. I believe he said he would have to figure something out (I am considered immune to the two big one he uses during pregnancy), and he probably asked me to remind him. So, I have a useless antibiotic. Likely another day of waiting for them to call something in and get it filled. But that is life. It didn't rock my world. I may not need an antibiotic. On the other hand, it may be no antibiotic left can do what I need it to do (immune systems go down during pregnancy and even if there was only a tiny infection before, it can get a lot worse during pregnancy).  Some things are just out of my hands. And in God's. And that feels good for a change! Tomorrow is HCG #2, so please keep praying and check in tomorrow night.

O Great Saint Gerard, beloved servant of Jesus Christ, perfect imitator of your meek and humble Savior, and devoted Child of the Mother of God: enkindle within my heart one spark of that heavenly fire of charity which glowed in your heart and made you an angel of love. O glorious Saint Gerard, because when falsely accused of crime, you did bear, like your Divine master, without murmur or complaint, the calumnies of wicked men, you have been raised up by God as the Patron and Protector of expectant mothers. Preserve me from danger and from the excessive pains accompanying childbirth, and shield the child which I now carry, that it may see the light of day and receive the lustral waters of baptism through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

The Holy Spirit in My Life

I love the Holy Spirit!  It started with my crazy conversion at a Steubenville conference (click here and here to relive the craziness and learn the history of my blog name) when my friend, Sherri, calmed my nerves.  She told me anything was possible with the help of the Holy Spirit (when I was struggling with how I was going to explain my conversion, and the fact that I was no longer going to engage in premarital se.x to my now dh).  I said a lot of prayers to the Holy Spirit and we got through that difficult time a stronger and better couple.

Then (or maybe it was before-sorry, not sure), a speaker at my youth group talked about the key to happiness was to a say a prayer daily.  It was the first I had heard of this Holy Spirit prayer, but for some reason I actually believed him and started praying faithfully (this from a person who had probably said 10 rosaries in my whole life!)  Since then it has a been a mainstay in my life.  During every fear, every everything, I turn to this prayer.  Dh and I have prayed it together many time.  I know I have recommended it to many of you, and though it is on the front page of my blog, I am posting it again here.

Holy Spirit, Beloved of my soul, I adore you. Enlighten me. Guide me. Strengthen me. Console me. Tell me what I should do. I promise to accept all that you deisre of me and accept all you permit to happe to me. Let me only know your will. Amen



For Mother's Day, I received a necklace that has a beautiful dove on it to represent the Holy Spirit.  You see, with my last pregnancy, I wore a miraculous medal given to me by a priest that prayed we'd get pregnant (to St. Rita, and then we immediately did get pregnant).  I decided at the end of the pregnancy to take it off and give it to my son.  It is tucked safely away for now until he is older.  As a result, I had been wondering what necklace to wear during this pregnancy for this baby.  I liked the idea of this tradition.  When I saw the Holy Spirit necklace at our local Catholic store, I knew it was the one.  I told dh I had found the one and he said he really wanted to get it to me for Mother's Day, thought it was fitting.  :)

When I heard about the Holy Spirit novena, I was thrilled.  I knew I wanted to participate.  And now today, on Pentecost, I was able to have our priest say a special blessing over the necklace.  How cool is that?!