I am Not Alone

Yesterday wasn't the best. It was tough.

The DCF visit went fine and was over quickly. It started with a frustrating statement. She said "I thought of you yesterday regarding the story where the car was stolen with a baby inside." Honestly, how rude! Yes, a car can be stolen in 2 seconds, even with a child inside and parents standing right there as was this case. However, my car wasn't on! My keys were not it! The car was locked! Sigh. I realize I put my child at risk and won't again, but geez! Anyway, I  am sure she would have rather stayed than gone on to less healthy situations she deals with day in and day out.

I received the "I am sorry you are miscarrying" email from Dr. Hilger's nurses. And Dr. Toth replied and basically said he was sorry there wasn't more he could do, but I have antibiotic resistant infection and there isn't anything else he has to give me. Essentially the result of this is we should actively avoid getting pregnant if we even have the possibility of ovulating. That sort of makes ovulating a bad thing, instead of the good thing it should be. I am also irritated because Dr. Toth knew we were basically resistant or getting resistant when we went in for treatment in NY. So what was his plan when I got pregnant? To continue to give me the abx he knows I am resistant to. Even this pregnancy he gave me those and then said he would try to find something different if the pregnancy continued. So what is this plan? Evidently it was that a miracle abx would be developed. Good grief!

 "i have no remedy, sorry. If I hear anything about a miracle antibiotic, you will be the first to know about it."

I told everyone that knew yesterday. It was hard, but I feel their support and prayers.

I know some women that when a loss is going on, there is really nothing anyone can say and they find fault with nearly every well meaning response. I don't think I am that way, but I was very irritated yesterday by a seemingly well meaning response. I wasn't expecting my son's teacher at his Catholic to school to ask us if we have tried IVF. It's well meaning, yes. And completely ignorant. Ignorant because it doesn't match our issue. She is brain washed it is the cure all like everyone else. Ignorant because it isn't helpful to suggest something against the church's teaching when someone is feeling weak and vulnerable. She is culpable for sin too, in that case, I would think. And especially it's ignorant, as many Catholics are, that there is something better out there. The Creighton Model and Naprotechnology treat the cause of the problem, is data based, is proactive. So I let her know 1) it wouldn't work because it isn't for our issue 2) it bypasses the body's natural defenses to protect it from getting pregnant when something is really wrong WITHOUT FIXING WHAT'S WRONG and 3) we thought we were giving up cutting edge treatment, but we did so to be faithful Catholics. Then we were rewarded with the best irony-the 2000 yr old church houses the most cutting edge fertility treatment available thanks to Dr. Hilgers. There. See if she brings that one up again! Geez! Hopefully she left with a little more hope to offer people in the future.

Yesterday was also hard because I am researching my options and I have decided to look into burial after a friend let me know the Catholic cemetery has a spot for miscarried babies and stillborns. I assumed no such option existed and funerals would be insanely expensive. It seems that isn't necessarily the case, so I am getting the information. Perhaps I can pass this info on to my Catholic ob/gyn and my priests so that this can be brought up to others that might benefit. I can't believe this was never mentioned to me. Something I definitely want to share with others.

I realized yesterday I was especially bitter because I was fine. I was happy. We had closed that door. In that way I empathize with a friend, Rhiannon. We had accepted the cross of IF. In her case she had adopted. Was happy. Convinced to do one more try. Then pregnancy. Then loss. And the wound, which was healed, is ripped right back open. And in our case, an extra bit of salt, you are ovulating. Not good for helping keep babies around, just saved you $5 on clomid and now you have to avoid forever. Aren't you glad you spent $18k for that treatment in NY so you could do that? Ugh.

So that was yesterday. Today is a new day (Lord, your Lourdes talk at mass continues to be ironic. Maybe its another kind of healing we should shoot for!) Thanks, everyone, for letting me know I am not alone. Your prayers carry me when I can't put one foot in front of the other. Please pray for my friend, Beth. She has had two losses like us, and two kids our children's age that go to school with them. Her husband needed meds for them to conceive. They are not Catholic and he was about to have a vasectomy when she got pregnant unexpectedly (no meds for him) in Aug. They almost immediately lost the baby. They got pregnant again, and they are about 20 weeks. They opted for the early blood test for the gender and found out there was a chance of Down Syndrome. So they did another blood test, which showed increased chance of triple X or trisomy 18. This is confusing and stressful. It's a slippery slope. They are now having an amnio, because the not knowing is incredibly stressful. The chance of miscarriage with amnio is greater than the chance their child actually has one of these. I feel for them. I am grateful they are not tempted to miscarry. I wonder how many unsuspecting moms choose this test to know gender and end up with more info than they bargained for or wanted. How many abort out of fear, and their child may not have anything. God help us with these slippery slopes!

Poland and IVF

My AMAZING friend and FertilityCare Practitioner sent me this today.  My great grandma was from Poland-we are a smart people!  LOL  Why must the US be so slow to adopt these truths?!

100 Polish Scientists Condemn In Vitro Fertilization

By Thaddeus M. Baklinski

WARSAW, January 11, 2010 (LifeSiteNews.com) - A group of Polish scientists have issued a document demanding that the government legislate a statutory ban on artificial (in vitro) fertilization procedures. The 100 signatories also call for full government funding of NaProTechnology, an ethically acceptable and highly successful method of evaluating and treating infertility.

The demand from the scientists follows on the heels of an open letter delivered to the Polish parliament last September from hundreds of doctors and medical professionals, urging them to vote against legalizing in vitro fertilization (IVF) and opt instead for the more successful, safer, and natural treatment for fertility problems.

Several proposals had been brought forward in the fall session of parliament to deal with the widely available, though officially illegal practice of IVF. Proposals range from taxpayer funding for all IVF treatments without restriction, including for lesbians, to an outright ban of the creation of human embryos outside the mother's body.

"September last year saw the commencement of the work on the legal regulations concerning the in vitro procedure. As scientists and academics, we would like to stand up to speak on such an important social issue," the scientists begin their appeal to the government. They then state categorically that IVF is "deeply unethical" and is a "a gross contradiction with the ecology of procreation – by replacing the natural environment of conception and of initial human development, i.e. the mother’s womb, with ‘glass’.”

The scientists confirm that "human life begins at the moment of conception – this is a biological fact, confirmed scientifically," and then declare that their moral and professional objection to artificial procreation is based on the fact that countless human embryos are created and destroyed in the process of IVF treatment.

"The in vitro procedure aiming to transmit human life is inseparably linked with destruction of a human life in its prenatal phase. Data published by various medical centers performing in vitro fertilization show that during this procedure 60-95% of conceived human beings die."

High praise is given to NaProTechnology by the scientists, who view this form of infertility treatment technology as a much more effective, safe and ethical alternative to artificial reproduction.

"NaProTechnology does not involve the destruction of conceived human beings, nor the violation of the dignity of a husband, wife nor their conceived child, and it observes the ecological principles of procreation. It is also worth mentioning that compared to the in vitro procedure, NaProTechnology is more effective and several times less expensive."

NaProTechnology has shown a success rate of 76% in assisting couples to achieve pregnancy, compared to the 10-15% success rate of in vitro fertilization, and without the enormous financial cost and adverse emotional and other psychological effects of in vitro fertilization.

The Bishops of Poland have issued statements condemning IVF and appealed to the government for a complete ban on artificial procreation.

Last June the Polish Bishops' Conference issued a statement in support of a proposal submitted to the Polish parliament by the chairman of the Parliamentary Committee on Health, Boleslaw Piecha, which provides for a complete ban on in vitro fertilization procedures.

"This draft is in line with the Catholic Church's position expressed in the Vatican's official instruction, the position of the Church in Poland, and that of Polish Catholics," stated Bishop Stanislaw Budzik.

"The point of departure for the Piecha draft is an unconditional respect for, and protection of, the human genome and embryo. A draft that bans extracorporeal fertilisation is closer to Church teaching and generally in conformity with it," added Warsaw's Archbishop Henryk Hoser.

A grassroots initiative by the group 'Contra in Vitro' has also presented the parliament with a petition signed by 160,000 citizens which calls for not only a ban on IVF but also for prison sentences for doctors performing it.

Contra in Vitro chairman, Jacek Kotula, said the group's proposal asks for changes to the civil code that would establish legislation providing a three year prison term for anyone convicted of engaging in the fertilization of an egg cell outside of a mother's body. The group also called for between 5 and 25 years in prison for anyone engaging in embryonic stem cell research.

"We are appealing for the introduction of a statutory ban on the drastic and inhumane procedure of in vitro fertilization," the scientists conclude their appeal to the government, "and for a widespread popularization of NaProTechnology and its full funding by the National Health Fund."

See related LSN articles:

Poland's Bishops Support Draft Law Banning In Vitro Fertilization

http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2009/jun/09062306.html

As IVF Debate Rages in Poland, Doctors Propose Ethical, Natural, More Effective Alternative

http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2009/sep/09092902.html

Fertility Treatment is Hugely Successful but Largely Ignored by Medicine

http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2008/mar/08031707.html

Study Finds Common Infertility Treatments Are Unlikely To Improve Fertility

http://www.lifesitenews.com/ldn/2008/aug/08080801.html

Our First Trip to the ER and Reassurance-*Updated with pictures

The only thing worse than being that being that sick is my child being that sick! :(  I tried so hard to be proactive, to no avail.  Thursday he coughed and sneezed and I immediately called the doctor and told them what we were exposed to and how bad I felt.  They said if he got raspy, bring him in.  He was a little raspy all weekend, but the junky cough was extra bad Monday and so I took him in.  They said no fever so no secondary infection.  Call us if he gets a fever.  He took a nap and woke up all pink cheeked and sad, so I called.  They said, just call us if he can't breathe.  Seriously?!  Argh!  So last night he went down a little late, at 8pm because he had two long naps instead of one.  Thirty minutes later he wakes up crying, then coughing, then choking, then gasping!  On his own phlegm!  He sounded like he was swimming in it!  I flew into the room and brought him into the light and put him upright and smacking his back and he threw up buckets of mucus!  Poor guy!  He did a few more gaspy noises that confirmed that I was getting no sleep until he got checked out, so off to the hospital we went.  I didn't think twice since we are talking breathing here-not to mention he was hot and lethargic!  He started to perk up on the drive over, so that made me feel better.  His chest x-ray was clear, but he had a fever despite motr.in, he'd developed an ear infection since that afternoon, and they gave him a breathing treatment.  I was so glad they could do something to help him breathe better.  Of course, I slept with the monitor on the highest setting!  He is still miserable today, crying sadly, etc.  I would gladly be sick all over again instead of him!

On a completely unrelated note, a friend sent to me a nice reflection I wanted to share. 
1 Peter 3:17 For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that be the will of God, than for doing evil.
She saw this as a powerful testimony for NFP and not doing the culturally accepted IUI/IVF.  I hadn't thought of it in this light.  She wrote to me, "It is amazing to me how God gives us reassurance along the way. I know that we're seeking to do good and God's will, and that is enough."  May you also find reassurance in those words?  I hope so!