My Dh and a Huge Prayer Request

I will post about the funeral shortly, but right now I want to talk about my dh. Through this pregnancy, he was excited and also worried just like I was. The only difference was he was working up to 85 hrs (his busiest time) as he is a Controller for a Fortune 500 company and in charge of all their filings with the SEC. He didn't have the luxury of the two girl's nights I had last week where I felt so loved. Or in receipt of all the wonderful Facebook, blog, and text messages of support in prayer. the flowers that were sent to me. He is removed from the comfort, but not the pain.

He continues to burn the candle at both ends. He came to two doc appts for heartbeats. He came to as much of my D&C as he was able. He barely got 45 minutes off for the funeral. While I took the whole day off and was able to go out to lunch with a friend after. He is not only working, but also looking for another job. He is the only candidate right now for the ideal position-and the worst timing ever. He preps for interviews, works, and comes home to prep for interviews again. Even though he likely has this position (he wowed the CFO on the first interview), since then he has flown to Portland to interview with 5 people back to back (with a parent company). That was last weekend. Then Thursday, he had an interview before he went to work with HR, and then with the other parent company after work. This Sunday we thought he would have to fly to Denver for the last interview, but the snowstorm made that delayed. And while he is ready to get it all over with, I know this was God's timing.  He continues to do his best to support me and be an awesome dad throughout all of this.

Earlier this week, around Tuesday and Wednesday, I was having a small pity party. I didn't want to do Lent. I felt like I was already at the end of forty long days of sacrifice and self denial. I was in the desert. But a post from a friend on a miscarriage support group changed my thinking. She posted a Love Dare. Immediately I got excited. I have been thinking about dh and his sacrifice for our family. How emotionally, physically, and spiritually drained he is. My focus has changed to what can I do for him this Lent to show my love and appreciation?

Three and a half years ago I went on an incredible retreat. It wasn't great timing, but I went anyway. I took my 6 month old with me. It fed my soul! I also met some incredible people I still have relationships with. I prayed dh would have this experience, but he kept putting it off. I stopped bringing it up and started nagging God instead. This year, I about fell out of the pew when he told me he wanted to sign up. He had the caveat that if work got crazy he would have to back out. I understood. When the interview came up, I understood. But now that is pushed back, and he is free to attend.

One of the most powerful parts of the retreat is at the end. That is when you hear, really realize, how many people have been praying for you all weekend. And then the letters pour in. letters of encouragement, appreciation, and prayer. It's so wonderful to receive these. I sort of dropped the ball on the fact that I am actually to get others to write these letters as well.  I had forgotten that part. But I got so excited, realizing this was exactly what dh needs right now. And so I sent a plea out to those I thought would be interested. And the response has been incredible. You are part of that plea. If you would pray for my dh this weekend, I would so greatly appreciate it! He needs this relationship with God. He needs to lean on Him. He needs to be rejuvenated. And He needs to understand how losing this baby fits with the idea of a loving and merciful God.

Thank you so much for all your prayers and kind words. But if at least for this weekend, you could direct those at my dh, it would mean so much! Any comments left below will copied and shared with him. Thanks in advance!

Why I Love My Husband (3)

I know I just did this, but he deserves another one.

I love my husband because...

For the last two months Charlie has developed a fear of taking a bath. It started when he had an accident in the tub (he was having very loose stools).  We responded kindly and didn't make a big deal, but he was mortified.  Getting poop and pee mixed up often by name for some reason, he has been bathing in tears holding his pee pee tightly in one hand.  We have talked about it (you can tell your potty to stay in there and it will probably listen; accidents happen sometimes, we can clean it up), I have tried everything I can think of, but in the end I have just had to put him in the tub and wash him fast through tears.  This from a boy that loved to bathe prior.  You could hardly get him out.  Today the sitter made the mistake of keeping AJ up for me because he was off schedule and I was due to pick him up 30 min into a nap.  He was a mess by time I got there, worse off by time we got home, and then he cried hysterical another hour.  I finally just nursed him because by then he was close enough, and that put him too sleep.  Poor buddy!  While I was dealing with that, my dh initiated putting Charlie down.  This is big in and of itself, because he'd rather keep him up so they can play longer (he can be a big kid!)  However, on top of this, he recalled I said it was bath night.  I half hoped he had forgotten because I didn't know if he had the patience or finesse to deal with the situation that had arose.  It had really been hard on me because I was doing all the bathing of both kids when admittedly, I barely had it together to bathe myself!  Anyway, as I left the nursery with the baby asleep, I go into my son's room only to hear loud giggles from the bathroom.  What a relief after what I had come from!He and dad were having a water fight with the squirter toys.  Charlie is squeeling with delight.  Daddy is laughing too.  Great memories were being made.  No tears.  No grabbing himself.  In fact, I am pretty sure before it was said and done there were negotiations for "one more minute" more than once.  Dad was the instant cure.  I should have called him in weeks ago!  I am so grateful for this!

Why I Love My Husband (1)

I am so overdue for starting this.  Thanks to Kaitlin for the idea!  Here are just a few reasons I love my husband.

He is into traditions and holidays and making memories.  He has a child like enjoyment of these things, and I would say I do too.  He wished I had waited for him to put up the new stockings, but I was so excited they went straight onto the mantel.  He forgave me anyway though. 

He is a hard worker.  This is his busiest month of the year.  He will probably have at least one 85 plus hour week this month.  He calls often to say he misses us.  He does it all for his family.

He doesn't care when I don't shower and look a mess.  He loves me anyway, no matter how I look (though that does make me want to look nicer for him, it doesn't actually translate into that happening!)

Since AJ was born he has become 24/7 focused on giving Charlie the love and attention he needs.  He is his play buddy even more than before, but what has really changed is the amount he participates in the other things-diapers, baths, getting dressed, putting down for bed or naps, feeding him.   Until busy season started, he took a monitor at night and responded to Charlie when he had the stomach flu or woke due to teething.  Yes, he even cleaned up vomit to the best of his ability.  Of course, he pays attention to AJ too.  But he knows that while I am feeding Anthony, etc Charlie is the one that really needs the extra attention right now.   

There is more, but that is enough for now :)

Ten Things about the Hubs

I have so enjoyed reading about everyone else's dh's (thanks, Anne!) so I have been meaning to add mine to the mix.

Our proposal actually sums up dh quite well, it was incredibly well planned and thought out since he is such a planner, very personal and reflected how well he knew me by having my family there at the end and other nice touches, involved delicious food which we like to enjoy together, he listened to me about wanting quality over size, but he wanted size in the ring so he got both, but he didn't want to pay an arm and leg so he found a way to get what he wanted for the price he wanted (by doing research, taking his time, and networking!).



Here are my ten facts about dh:

1. Dh is strong and sure about himself and his choices.  He doesn't waffle when it is time to make a decision.  He is a man of facts and figures, and doesn't get overly emotional when it comes to decision making.  For example, when Dr. Hilgers told us we should ttc right away, dh didn't think twice.  He told me it was a "no brainer" since we wanted a family and this gave us our best odds.  He is definitely a numbers man, but then he is an accountant and I can't fault him for that.  He makes lots of good financial decisions for our family and our long term future.  No one could accuse him of being short sighted or overly impulsive.  He is my rock.
2. He is a family man.  Dh has loved children since long before I met him.  And he is a natural.  He knows how to get down on their level and correct them in a way that doesn't make them cry, but makes them want to please him.  He also knew how to get down on his hands and knees and really play.  His neighbor girl fell in love with him at his first house, and would come ring the bell for him to play!  I used to think he didn't want a girl because he was so into sports, but then I saw him with my nieces and the neighbor and knew that wasn't the case.  My niece would literally walk around with our engagement picture before she was two and say "my (his name)."  (I used to say "hey, I am on here too!")  Finally I got to the real answer from him about having girls "Girls grow up and meet boys.  I know about how boy's think!"  Haha!  Dh will be on the porch with a shot gun for sure!  He definitely hasn't disappointed since we've had our son.  He is an incredibly involved loving father.
3. On a similar note, dh takes his role of parenting and being a husband very seriously.  Not just financially as mentioned above, but specifically here I am talking in the safety relm.  To the point that I give him great grief about it (I call him "safety patrol" and "hall monitor!")  He was the king of everything approved by consum.er reports for our son.  He doesn't like the blinds open in the play room because someone might be walking by and see how cute Charlie is and want to steal him.  Seriously.  I could go on, but you get the picture.  It is nice, but sometimes it gets tiresome. I appreciate it deep down.  Very deep down.  Safety is why dh doesn't have his name on my blog.  I am trying to protect his privacy, though I don't care nearly as much if I protect my own.
4. Dh is incredibly affectionate.  On our first date we were in an elevator and he begged to kiss my cheeks. He genuinely is a cheek pincher.  Like an 80 year old aunt stuck in a 34 year old man's body-lol.  I knew when I met him we would never get to the point where we don't kiss anymore.  We kiss.  We snuggle.  We are the annoying couple that shares a chair, or lays together in one recliner.  We spend the whole time after having Charlie in the same twin hospital bed.  We nap in the same porch swing on our deck.  Obviously I love all this closeness as well, so I think I am incredibly lucky!
5. Nicknames.  It would be hard to talk about dh without talking about his love of giving people nicknames.  I can hardly believe I never had one prior to meeting him and can barely remember the long list of nicknames over the last 7 years.  Where they have come from is fuzzy sometimes, as they evolve and the little thing will start one, but there have been good ones and not so good ones.  I mentioned I was "his big woman" throughout my entire pregnancy.  I was "Snicks" for a long time from "snickerdoodle" and then shortened to "snicks" and then for a time it was "snickalee" and then it was just "lee."  They get ridiculous, but it is all in good fun.  I think it comes from his fratern.ity roots.  Hmmm. I need to come up with a nickname for dh for this blog...
6. Success.  Dh strives to be good at everything and he succeeds for the most part.  I really think it stems from losing his dad at 12.  It has defined him in a good way.  He made the most of it.  He is super close with his mom, and he always wanted to make his dad proud.  He worked hard in school, got good grades, made lots of friends, played sports (something his dad and him shared) and excelled at them.  He got a great job.  He was successful by the world's definition.  Somehow along the way, he stopped practicing any faith (his dad was Catholic; his mom is Lutheran and eventually remarried a Lutheran), but I introduced a new definition of success to him and he is working hard to meet that one now too.  There are few things he isn't good at, but those are one's he hasn't worked at enough-golf, patience!, reparing things around the house, and cooking.  However, he is working on all three at the moment and he has perfected grilling chicken, steak, brats, and pork chops to the point I would choose his versions over a restaurant anytime.
7. Sports.  This is huge.  Defining.  It is definitely its own category.  He watches-football (nfl and college-he has season tickets to his college), basketball (mostly college), and baseball.  He plays.  He played tennis in college on scholarship.  He plays basketball once or twice a week even now and he is good!  He used to play softball when we met (but heck, so did I, lol!)  He got two gold medals at cor.porate challenge year before last-one for single's tennis and one for 3 on 3 basketball.  At the same time he won another local tennis tournament.  Is pop a shot a sport?  He rocks at pop a shot!  lol He also knows tons of sports facts and closely follows recruiting of his alma mater.  He is actually in OK City for the games this week.  It is a huge part of who he is.
8. Hubby not only works hard, but he "plays hard."  That was always his motto.  He knows how to go out and dance and have a great time.  He loves to sing loud and off key to the music and I love it too!  He has even gotten on stage with the band at a lake (liquid courage) and sang Billy I.dol!  We used to go dancing a ton when we were dating.  We also love to go to piano bars, play video games, play board games especially trivia, and eat out a lot.  We have also taken many nice trips and they are all memorable.  Like when we went to San Di.ego and saw a Charg.ers game and ended up on the jumbo tron.  And went to Na.pa.  And the zoo.  He is a fantastic trip planner.  Or when we rode dolphins together.  Or zip lined in Mex.ico-by the way, not the best place to zip line, something about safety standards not like they are in the U.S.  A story for another day...
9. Dh is stubborn.  He asked me when we first met if I was stubborn, because if I was it wouldn't work because he was too.  I said yes, even though I didn't think I was, it was just to test him.  In hindsight that probably means I am, right?!  lol  I told him only on important things, because if you hold your ground just to hold it then that is just pride.  I think it made him think.  He chose to look into the Catholic faith (he grew up Catholic but was never confirmed) because he felt it was important to see if he wanted to go down that path as an adult, and it was really important to decide prior to proposing, because that was the right thing to do.  He would never ever ever be Catholic just because I was.  It was too important.  But he is now, and because he chose it.  Which is awesome. Now if he would only elevate faith to the level of sports and safety around here, and he would definitely get me to heaven!
10. Without dh, I would stay in my task oriented bubble and be checking things off my list instead of living life.  Really living it.  This is just a small example, but if it weren't for dh I wouldn't necessarily notice that it is a beautiful day.  But dh celebrates every beautiful day by encouraging us to take a family walk (with Max the dog) and/or by grilling and us eating outside. 

I have known dh for almost 7 years, and we have been married for three and a half.  I believe he is the perfect person out there for me.  He is my rock, he truly completes me and helps me enjoy life; he brings out the best in me.  No one can make me happier and no one can hurt me more.  He has my heart.

Pictures: the night we got engaged (way above), a wedding that was one of our first dates (now this is at the very bottom-oops!), our first trip together to Chicago, dh's confirmation, singly loudly to American Pie while dancing at our wedding, zip linining in mexico on our honeymoon, and sharing the hospital bed after Charlie's birth.