100th post and please excuse the venting...

I started to write this post about how nuts the day was, and it just kept getting nuttier and interupting my post.  If you only have a moment to read, know the hcg levels are not doing what I think is a healthy path, and I can't help but think bad thoughts at this point. 


Today has been a dousy.  I know I have a lot to be grateful for, and I am already on the mend from the recent series of blows I am about to describe, but I just need to put it out there, get it off my chest so I can move on.  I am sure you all have been there.  (okay, this was written prior to getting the level-now I am no longer able to shrug off the funk)

Yesterday Charlie's junky cough continued to get worse.  He avoided milk all day and I made the mistake of giving him a yogurt at dinner.  He promptly threw it all up.  I put him to bed early (asleep by 7pm) only to have him wake at 7:30 and need a whole 30 min of rocking to go back down.  He was just swimming in fluid.  Again.

He woke again several times, sleeping very lightly, but he was able to go back to sleep.  I had the humidifier on high and he was elevated.  I turned the monitor on high so I could hear his breathing.  This was too similar to the rsv before.  Charlie woke at 11:30 and had to be soothed, but went down fairly well. 

I had trouble going to sleep myself and finally fell asleep at midnight-so unusual for me to be up that late.  I usually fall asleep the second I get into bed.  At 1:45am Charlie woke and had a huge barking cough.  He was extremely congested and had a fever.  I was concerned it was croupe and knew if it was we should take him out in the cold air.  However, I didn't want to do this if it wasn't.  I called our local askanur.se line to see what they thought and she had me follow all the croupe instructions-outside 10 min in cold air, inside in steam for 20 min, drink a honey/lemon mixture, and drink warm water.  It didn't seem to help.  I think he drank too much water too fast because he then threw it all back up.  I think my husband and I went back to sleep around 3:30 or 4.  Charlie woke again at 5:30 and I gave him more tylen.ol and then again for the day at 6:30am!

I called two docs when we woke up this morning-Charlie's to see if they thought we needed to be seen before the weekend and mine because ever since last Saturday my shoulder has been killing me and popping a ton, very painful.  Both docs thought we needed to be seen.  Since we already had the 10:30am appt with the ob (mind you all three are opposite directions, different cities even-we live in a large metropolitan area), I was fortunate they were able to work with me to do a 12:30pm for Charlie and a 2:30 for me.  Granted, Charlie's nap is from 12-2, but what could I do?  I planned on putting him down for two naps today, just before and after his typical nap (ha! rereading this he never went down for even one!).  I had to cancel my next door neighbor watching Charlie for the ob appt (so her son wouldn't get sick), and my dad instead was going to come watch Charlie.  My mom, unfortunately, was getting sick with the flu, my little sister (KT) has h1n1 (even though she was vaccinated and they thought she had it prior), and one of my older sisters (JB) had the flu and a child that was throwing up.  Gotta love this winter!

What I didn't count on in my packed day was mommy brain striking again and me leaving my keys in my car yesterday.  I got in all ready for my appt today, Charlie all packed up with me to hang in the car with my dad, praying to see a baby sac, when I found my car had died.  Nor did I could I have foreseen that even though my dad quickly was able to detour to jump my car, and I would have been 20 min late max, the doc's office told me not to bother coming in.  I was basically his last appt before my ob/gyn went in to surgery.  He was out for the entire next week on vacation.  So you can imagine when the receptionist basically said don't bother, let's reschedule for two weeks how I felt!  Add that to no sleep, and well, I just started bawling.  We ended up being able to schedule the ultrasound for next Wed (potentially a heartbeat, definitely a sac) which is in between the two we were going to do-one this Fri and one next.  The ultrasound is with a tech and then I will see a nurse afterwards.  I got an hcg to pacify myself, but it didn't happen until 5pm, and the results were...questionable at best.  Last time it almost doubled, but I got the level just shy of 48 hrs.  Then today, 3 1/2 days later, it didn't double at all.  I know it slows as numbers get bigger, and I was trying to be optimistic, but the bad feelings are sinking in. 
(recap 207, 599, 1634, and 3219-all 48 hr apart-and then today, 3 1/2 days later 5247=26 dpo).

On a postitive note, my dad was very sweet to come jump my car and he watched Charlie this afternoon so Charlie could nap while I am at my appt (he didn't!).  Charlie's appt went well, though they did confirm croupe and gave a script for a steroid since his throat could swell shut.  How scary is that!  At least his chest was clear and he seems in good spirts.  But the two nap idea is not working-Charlie is overtired and cries and gets so worked up he can't breathe and I have to go rescue him.  Not to mention his timing is impecable and he wanted to eat for basically the first time all day (I think that is innate-lol)

My shoulder appt was basically worthless, but that is okay.  I don't want x-rays or meds that are questionable, but I am glad someone looked at it wasn't concerned. 

I really really wish I had been able to make my appt today.  I wish the hcg level would have doubled.  I wish I wasn't in limbo until next Wed....