I am on the journey we are all called to-to accept God's will and perfect love. Whether I am white knuckling it with my eyes shut tight or standing up with my arms outstretched enjoying the ride, I try always to let God be the driver and not bail out the side when there are bumps (like IF!). On good days, I trust He won't run me into a tree. :)
12.04.2010
The Hard Part
How quickly we forget....I have entered a hard stage I forgot about. The stage where my child where sleep anywhere but the bed. Nice long naps in the carseat, the swing, the sling, anywhere but bed. In bed, he has started waking FREQUENTLY. It's painful. Yesterday I started pushing through with the encouragement of my pediatrician that it wasn't due to reflux. Today I cheated and did the carseat once (after I was ready to poke my eyes out) and tonight I cheated in another way-I nursed to sleep. Others may do this, but I choose not too (after the beginning, and in the night doesn't count). Not to mention that my child wasn't due for a feeding (he will eat whenever it is offered, at least half) and so...it made him sick. He has spit up twice, his tummy is rolling and I feel like evil bad mom that went to her only secret weapon b/c I am weak-the boob :( It made him sick and it didn't even work to put him to sleep. Today (and yesterday) we are just having that kind of day. Prayers for grace please, prayer buddy. I am not worthy of this awesome task to be AJ's mommy.
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5 comments:
Sorry you are going through the rough patch. I hope it improves quickly.
Awe, hang in there. You are so blessed. I wish I was your neighbor...I could be your night nurse! Grace prayers being said for you. Hugs
I bet when one is exhausted...you resort to trying anything to grab a few moments of rest. Hopefully, your little AJ will be sleeing in his own bed soon...and you can get your needed rest.
You amaze me...even in the throws of total exhaustion you always reach and strive for the greater good. Go easy on Mommmy! She is so important and beloved!
I am a new woman today, thank you for your prayers!
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