8.27.2012

Gianna is in heaven-surgery TOMORROW! *update on surgery & ? on chromosomal testing ?

I decided to wait until today for my ultrasound.  I wanted a picture, but I wasn't desperate for one.  Does that make sense?  It wasn't haunting me or anything.  It just would have been nice.  Not to the point that I wanted to ask to come in again.  I was just so appreciative she was doing it at all, scanning me for free (she doesn't take my insurance).  So I waited.

Dh asked if I wanted him to come, but I said no.  I knew the news wasn't good.  I didn't schedule it with his schedule in mind at all, and I didn't want him to bend over backwards to make it work.  I am glad he asked though. 

I went in and was scanned immediately.  I didn't see a heartbeat and she confirmed it.  I wasn't sad in that room.  I was a little relieved, in some sense, that the drug out process was complete.  It knew she was in heaven.  No more waiting, wondering when the time would be.  She was there.  She is now content and peaceful, I don't doubt that. And she is in good company.

I mentioned I would like pictures if possible.  She coudln't get the ones from last time, so she asked if I would feel okay if she took some now.  I was fine with that and so I left with some.  A nurse came in, my favorite, and hugged me and told me she was in heaven, and I was grateful for such an amazing office.

It didn't occur to me before my appt today, but given the circumstances we have opted to do a D&C so that we can control when and where for the miscarriage since this time I have my two boys to think about. The surgery will be tomorrow, so the rest of today has been a whirlwind of notifying my professor, my work, cancelling appts, notifying the sitters, arranging my mom, dh getting off work, writing up instructions for my mom (who will take Charlie to school and watch AJ until we return, I had to register with the hospital...so much to be done!)  I will be in surgery for only a half an hour, but they want me to take the day off. Craig was able to take off last minute as well, thankfully. I am grateful we are doing this quickly so we can start the healing process in every sense of the word. I appreciate all the support and prayers.

*Update The surgery went well. I was home by 10am, a little nauseated despite all their efforts, but I was able to sleep through it and the discomfort is easily managed by pain meds. It was a bit emotional and I did cry going back and when I came to.  I am alright, despite that, I guess I just needed a release.  My husband was so sweet to come home with a dozen roses last night and he is taking good care of me.  I hope I won't regret this, but we decided to do chromosomal testing on the baby since we were already in a controlled environment.  There is a good chance we will learn the gender from this.  Also, we will learn if the cause of death was chromosonal.  We have already met our out of pocket maximum, so I am hopeful there is no charge for this.  My anxiety comes from the chance this may not be covered by insurance.  What is your all's experience with this?  It won't likely affect anything we do in the future, just wanted it for peace of mind, but not with a $1500 price tag or something like that.  I am hoping it would be covered with 3 miscarriages now, but the chance it won't is nagging at me.  I only knew to ask for it because of the women on the blogs, so I appreciate any info you have.

18 comments:

Rebecca Frech said...

I'm so sorry. I'll be praying for you all day.

Simone said...

I am so sorry for your loss. She is at peace now. At least, you do not have to suffer any longer with the uncertainty. I'm glad that your office still showed you compassion. I pray that you will heal emotionally and physically.

Kaitlin @ More Like Mary said...

I'm so sorry. It's clear God is surrounding you with His grace right now. i pray it continues.

polkadot said...

I'm so sorry. Gianna is a beautiful name. I will continue to keep you in prayer as you begin to heal from this loss. St. Gianna, pray for J and her family.

Chasing said...

I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet baby.

From Pam and John to Mom and Dad said...

I am sorry and I'll be praying.

JoAnna Wahlund said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. Many prayers. St. Gianna, pray for us.

Abigail said...

I am praying hard for you today! Hoping the surgery is as easy as possible.

God bless you little Gianna. I have a special vocation to pray for heart babies in the NICU--you are my littlest one.

Thanks for gracing your Mom, Dad and the Catholic Church with your presence. I'm happy you fought hard to stay on earth for as long as you could. Please pray for all of us Catholics with strong physical hearts but weak spiritual ones--to clean up our act quickly so we can join you in heaven.

Little St Gianna (and big St Gianna) pray for us!

Kara said...

So sorry. Will be praying. :(

All in His Perfect Timing said...

I am so, so, so very sorry. Praying for you today and always. Little Gianna, pray for us.

St. Rita's Roses said...

God Bless baby Gianna. I am so sorry- I will be praying for you today.

Joy Complete said...

I am so sorry for your loss and the long, drawn out process this has been. Praying for a quick recovery from surgery and healing for you and your husband.

In regards to your question, I had testing done one or two times and didn't have any major bills related to it. I'm sure we paid something for the tests, but never received any shockingly high bills. Hope it is the same for you. On one of the tests they really couldn't give us any information because the baby had passed too long before the tests and the cells weren't dividing.

Joy Beyond the Cross said...

J - I am praying for you and also asking little Gianna to watch out for our little one. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you so much for your words of encouragement about our loss as well. I appreciate them more than you can imagine.

My D&C is scheduled for tomorrow at 12pm (8/29).

Beth said...

:(
Praying
:(

JellyBelly said...

Continued prayers for you!

BlessedBeLord said...

I am a little late reading this but have been thinking about you and Baby Gianna. Continued prayers as you heal physically and emotionally.
St. Gianna, please intercede for this beautiful family.

Grace in my Heart said...

I am so sorry for your loss. This breaks my heart. May St. Gianna fill you with peace during this time. xoxo.

Andria said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I just wanted to let you know that insurance did cover the testing of our third miscarriage. We had met our deductible so we just had to pay the typical 20% that goes with our policy. It was not expensive. I have not read the rest of your blog but have you looked into progesterone therapy (NaPro)? After lots of blood tests and no answers as to why I couldn't carry a baby past 16 weeks, NaPro was our last ditch effort to try to have another baby. And 30 some weeks of shots later, we had a healthy baby girl. It still feels like a total miracle after the pain and sadness of losing three babies. I hope this information is helpful.