8.30.2012

Irony of all Ironies and a Thank You

Today I left a message with PPVI re my D&C.  I was surprised to get a call so soon, just an hour or so later, but it became quickly clear they hadn't yet received my message.  The purpose of the call was to tell me my progesterone, which they had me draw early (last Fri as opposed to this Tues) was good.  15.3.  Actually it hadn't been that good all pregnancy except for my peak plus 7 draw, which was about the same.  Then it went to 12.1, I believe, and then 8 something.  The nurse was very kind, very apologetic, and added me to their prayer chain they all participate in there.  I don't fault them at all.  I am a little perplexed why the progesterone was so good.  Normally, no matter what we do, if there is a loss, the progesterone predicts it. At least that is how I recall it.  I was annoyed at my local ob/gyn doc, whom after we had the lowered heartbeat, sent me a bill for the entire pregnancy and delivery broken up over the next four months.  The letter stated they had tried to reach me when I was there (total BS, you know how often I was there, sitting, waiting in rooms over the last month?)  so I just nicely asked the doctor if they could communicate better under these types of circumstances so as not to pour salt in the wound.  Of course, he was wonderful and I actually do love the entire office, just felt the need to give feedback for the next girl.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate the prayers and comments you all have left on my blog.  I was brought to tears reading several bloggers' posts today that referenced what M and I are going through.  Thank you for taking the time to write these, thank you for your prayers, thank you for your friendship.  Words are not enough, but I know you and my sweet husband (who greeted me with a dozen roses on Monday) are all the reason that I can put one foot in front of the other. I will always be indebted to this community for all you have done for me!  The focus of most of the posts was about being grateful, and that message has definitely not been lost on me as well.  I look at my boys and I see them truly for the miracle they are.  I even caught myself saying Monday prior to my ultrasound, as I pushed my sweet boys around Tar.get, I am the luckiest mom ever.  I caught myself, remembered the situation we were in, and made it a point to finish my sentence.  Because it is absolutely true. And as I experience the minor discomfort following the D&C and the major mental discomfort, I continue to offer up these suffering for those that have experienced loss and those that desire a(nother) child and are having difficulty. 

4 comments:

Infertile Catholic said...

I wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers for you, sister in Christ!

All in His Perfect Timing said...

I wish they had more nurses at PPVI so they could handle the calls better. I am still thinking of and praying for you.

Hebrews 11:1 said...

Keeping you in my prayers!

Abigail said...

I justed wanted to call you "Gianna's Mommy" today because she is such a precious girl, and you did such a great job mothering her, and you won't be called that beautiful title nearly enough in your life.

Hugs and prayers today to "Gianna's Mommy"

From, Francisco's Mommy