She has said before she can't ever be happy. She might be right. The happiest day of her life turned out to be the worst day of her life. Her fiancee passed away. They were together ten years, since they were 15. He is all she ever knew. He was a part of our family and fit right in rolling with the crazy punches. We loved Tom so much and Tom loved us! Katie and Tom were broken up. He made some unhealthy choices that scared her. She wanted him to know it wasn't okay. She was proving a point, trying to require change. She did it out of love.
She told me last week, she hoped he could pull it together. That she still saw them marrying, he just needed to take care of some things. She told me how much she loved him and has just told him how she knew he would fix these things and they would still get married. They still talked. They even saw each other. He was there cheering her on at graduation, sitting with our family. He was supposed to come over night before last to celebrate her passing the boards. He had some work to finish up and then he would be over. But he never came. Katie thought he fell asleep. He was pushing himself at work, wildly successful in every earthly sense for a 25 year old (he was so responsible and good for Katie) and Katie knew he had gone in very early that day. She text him a few times, but didn't want to disturb him.
He lived with his mother. He wanted to buy a house, but not without Katie, and he knew Katie needed to keep living with my parents to get through school and boards. He wouldn't move without her. He loved her and wanted what was best. He had a strained relationship with his mom. He didn't tell her much. She found out the engagement was off from someone else, her other daughter. She didn't know they still saw each other, still loved each other. She has never liked Katie, which makes all of this harder. Tom had her ring. She made him take it because he didn't believe he was serious. Katie may never see that ring again, something he bought to show her he wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. They created it together over months. His mom didn't even call to let her know she had found Tom late morning yesterday. She blames Katie for what may be an overdose, may be an aneurism. He was on some meds. He was taking things he should be on top of it. Add beer. It had happened before. Katie never told her he had a problem. It was what he was working on, why they were apart. But he also had headaches he never told his mom about even though she was a nurse. He was taking pain killers. They will know more when the reports come back. But as far as his mom sees it, Katie was out of his life because Tom never told her anything.
I pray that time heals. Katie is a mess. She has so many issues outside of this, she doesn't have much in reserves. She has regrets they weren't together. She has other regrets. Yesterday as we gathered around her, she was a puddle of a person, melted, sobbing about the wedding they never had, house they hadn't bought, babies they never had. Our heart aches for her and for a life not lived fully.
And a friend lost. Tom had many friends. His close knit group of friends lost one of their own to suicide in high school. They have not recovered. Especially, M, who lost his dad to brain cancer around that time. Katie and M are going to need all the prayers you can give, along with Tom and his family. My heart is breaking for them and all they have been through in their short lives. They don't have faith, or in some cases not strong faith, and they need prayers.
We will always remember Tom so fondly. He was a brother to dh and I, an uncle to the kids. He was there after all the grandkids were born, and in the waiting room during AJ. He cried tears of joy, he was so happy to be part of it. He was always there with a smile and a helping hand. We admired his character and amazing work ethic. The world will not be the same without him.