I am on the journey we are all called to-to accept God's will and perfect love. Whether I am white knuckling it with my eyes shut tight or standing up with my arms outstretched enjoying the ride, I try always to let God be the driver and not bail out the side when there are bumps (like IF!). On good days, I trust He won't run me into a tree. :)
12.01.2012
A New Plan
Well, I thought we had a plan. We were told we could try my third cycle post miscarriage by my local ob/gyn and Dr. Hilgers. I had forgotten to do the blood draw and hcg shots, if you recall, so I called Dr. H's office to see if I could still try. The result from their office (a week later, post taking clomid of cousre)-a big fat NO! From not only forgetting to get a hormone levels, but also as a result of it only being two cycles. I don't know if they calculated wrong or what, but since it was a voicemail, I couldn't hardly argue or clarify. I will be honest. I was annoyed. I was hurt. My emotions were all over the place. It wasn't pretty. I was quite disappointed. This lasted a few days and then I realized something. I trusted them. They make mistakes, but even if they did on the number of months, I didn't get a level. And it was true, my hormones could be all over the place. Certainly my moods were! So I reminded myself what I always know when I am in the right state of mind-better to wait, make sure everything is healthy, and then try. Afterall, I wasn't just trying to get pregnant. I was trying to deliver a healthy baby at the end of my pregnancy. This is what has allowed me to be so fortunate, trying a maximum of three cycles before pregnancy (with meds on board, of course) just like Napro predicts. So I let it go and I am now at peace with the change of plans. It happened for a reason. It was necesssary, I believe. And though I did not want to have to abstain this month during my fertile time, especially with Clomid on board-the added pressure has certainly put my mind and focus back on charting effectively. So, yesterday I took my first hcg shot, and we are on track to get good information and see about next cycle.
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5 comments:
I think that's a good plan!
Good luck..hoping next cycle in the winning one!! (for both of us!)
Agreed, good plan.
I am glad you are at peace now, my friend. Sometimes, I just wish I could take away the emotional rollercoaster that this journey brings with it... :(
(((Hugs)))
It is so hard to wait and be patient and understanding. Thinking of you and praying for you!
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