More waiting...and then finally the clock starts

So, after DH and I had our son, we were open to trying immediately for more (though a little nervous at the thought of 2 little ones and my school still not complete, we were more scared of the alternative).  We weren't trying to be selfish (trust me are grateful as humanly possible for Charlie), but because we don't take anything for granted, we had no idea if or when it would ever happen and didn't want to waste any time.  However, it turned out it was kind of like thinking I would have Charlie 6 weeks early and then he came one week late.  We were committing to try right away, and yet...no cycle.  Yes, I was nursing.  I told myself that wanting to try for baby #2 would not cause me to do certain things different with Charlie and nursing was one of those things.  Charlie was never an on demand nurser.  He was never really a comfort nurser.  He nursed for food and he had no desire when he wasn't hungry.  As a result, I fully expected to get my cycle back sometime in the four to six month range.  I remember when DH came up to me when Charlie was only about 7 months old and he joked, "are we ever going to have another baby?" We smiled at each other, knowing this was only the beginning of the waiting.

My cycle didn't return until almost 4 weeks after quitting entirely (despite me being down to 3 feedings ages ago and from there dropping off one feeding at a time; I nursed him just shy of a year).  So my cycle just started on the 25th of last month (you heard me right, we are officially in real time!)   I don't regret nursing him that long, and in some respects am even proud since I was unfortunate enough to endure mastitis 5 or 6 times.  (DT felt it was likely related to the underlying infection since it was happening a ton and I was doing all the prevention I could think of). 

Back to cycles.  Of course the folks that don't want it back get it very quickly it seems!  It is strange, others coming up and asking me about number 2 and I found myself sharing with perfect strangers that if my period was back we would certainly be trying but we can't.  I did it because I didn't want to appear to be the type I was not-like those who viewed children as a given, but also an inconvenience, the type that would try to perfectly space my family around my own selfishness.  Literally, the only thing worse than ttc and being unsuccessful is not being allowed to try, or even getting to start the cycle clock (once it starts we will be waiting the recommended 3 full cycles to try) even though fully anticipating the difficulty once it all began.  I tried to tell myself to use the time wisely, with work, with my son, with my husband.  Making the most of whatever stage you are at in life is important-I am a firm believer in not wishing life away but focusing on that moment.  I was relatively patient and living in the moment for the most part, as you might expect with my son to distract me.  Still, the desire to begin trying was/is definitely there.  Now the cycle clock has begun, after my son turned one.  So, we have a plan in place.
Cycle one-nothing
Cycle two-blood draw at peak plus 7 for pro and est (mailed to omaha)
cycle three-cycle review at CD1, indicated meds including oral antibiotics, blood draw
cycle four-cycle review, adjust meds as needed and ttc unless something else needs tweaking
cycle five, six, and seven ttc on med and cyclical oral antibiotics and cycle reviews and blood draws to monitor
If, after 7 cycles, nothing happens and nothing appears to need work via Dr. Hilgers, then it is off to NY, this time for full DT treatment.

sidenote: I have one bottle of hcg left from my old insurance and it isn't covered on our current insurance. Dr. Hilgers wrote a letter about it being hormonal, but it didn't matter, they just said it wasn't an option under my husband's plan (his work hadn't opted for it or something).  I am wondering what something like that would cost?

1 comment:

Alisha Templeton said...

i am so glad you have created this blog! you have so much to share. i am going to have to continue reading when i am not at an internet cafe in peru. love you and miss you tremendously!