HCG-Living and Dying by the Numbers
This blog is a blessing and a priviledge in so many ways. I had the opportunity, this past week, to go back and read some very real and painful posts. These were written in Word real time and then transferred to my blog later, so the dates are off in the beginning. I reread this one, discovering my first pregnancy in 2006-
and the details of my hcg rising and lowering and losing him TWICE
And I read about healing afterwards in this post
about conceiving and losing Gabby in 2007 http://tool4god-myjourneywithgod.blogspot.com/2008/12/gabby-and-another-test-to-following.html
this is about the answer to my miscarriages, an unresolved infection
Here is me finding out I was pregnant with Charlie
This is when my hcg dipped with Charlie and I thought we were starting to lose him
And when things were good again, as my hcg corrected and we saw Charlie's hcg rising
Here is where I was worried about AJ too because his hcg started off lower than the rest at the same time (200s) like Gabby and b/c I had a yeast infection during conception time
Here I think I am losing AJ b/c of hcg numbers so clearly this is a pattern with me where I think I can interpret them but I can't....
Reading all of these again was perfect timing as Mother's Day is upon us, reminding me that this path hasn't been easy, and it never will be easy, but it is my story and I am grateful for it. Through all the twists and turns, my husband and I were better able to rely on each other and God. And in the end, our family grew on this side of heaven. I am so grateful that I am able to be a mother, and as always, I put my story out there for those that are still struggling, who haven't been able to back up from their story and see the beauty in the bumps at this point in time. I pray for all those struggling on Mother's Day and everyday as circumstances put salt in the wound.
And I have a prayer request for you, as well. A summary doesn't give it justice, there is a lot more than I can write, but the reason I reflected back on these posts is because my dear friend K is in the most difficult time of her life right now. She got pregnant and miscarried. Before her cycle returned, she got pregnant again. Only there is some question because the hcg is low and slow rising (21 to 30) and there is some concern that maybe it actually be tissue from the first miscarriage. My friend K has been on an emotional rollercoaster since March about whether or not she is actually pregnant and it is viable, and she is spent, having given everything she has. She is exhausted and has to wait until the 16th to get another hcg. This level will tell her for certain if she is pregnant and if it is progressing normally. Ladies, I am not stranger to living and dying by hcg numbers. It is a very painful drawn out experience. Please pray for peace for my friend, K, and her husband, N.
To all of those mothers of babies in heaven or on earth, I wish you a happy Mother's day. For those desiring to be mother's, I also wish you a happy Mother's day, one that is pain free and one that you feel loved and supported by your spouse. Remember, your story is not yet over!