What a strange thing to be writing here again under these conditions. Pregnancy. Something I thought was long in my rearview mirror. Though in some ways I feel stupid to be surprised. I am a lazy charter. That's what happened to us when we became perpetual avoiders against our will combined with sporadic if any ovulation. I only knew of one time I ovulated on my own, and I knew it the second it was occurring. I figured it was a rare event, ending in my most recent loss two years ago. So even "healing" didn't' mean total healing and wasn't to be. And yet, here I am again.
And while I am in a very familiar place for the 8th time, still some things are new. Like how late I tested, my best guess is P+18. I was near the time I should have started my period, and the only reason I tested was because I was packing for a spring break trip and then I saw the tampons. The movie, This is Forty, played in the next room and the main character is unexpectedly pregnant. I tested for no real reason, I keep them around sometimes to confirm I am not pregnant. But the line that appeared immediately was not the test line like I initially thought, but the other line. The pregnant line. Dark and fast. I checked to see if they were expired. No, but still CVS brand. No reason to get excited unless I confirm.
I still took the stick to my husband, lying on the bed. Held it out with no words, but when he looked at me I couldn't help but smile. But then ashamed of my goofy smile, I turned away, not knowing what to feel yet unable to stop smiling. "What?" he asked not fully looking. "Do you have a temperature?" While the colors of pink and white def resembled our thermometer, I had to laugh. This was too large, and much bigger of an event.
I told him I didn't believe it and was going to CVS for an expensive one. I thought it was open 24 hrs, but thankfully got there 10 min before it closed. It was confirmed. There wasn't much sleep to be had that night, despite the busy next day ahead.
I was supposed to work this Tues, though not the norm, to wrap up a work audit. Instead I called Dr. Hilgers and my local ob. I was happy to have quick responses back from both. A 1pm appt with Dr. Snider-there they confirmed the pregnancy and did Dr. H's stat HCG. Unfortunately we couldn't mail off the progesterone because the two labs in town no longer did it. I did find one that still did, but too late (St. Luke's South). I was able to get the prog suppositories and Prog in oil from the local CVS (non compounded, those are excluded from my plan). I had never started on both of those from the start, to my recollection suppositories only came once and later. HCG was called in, but I was told not to start it yet. And it was a pain to deal with. My insurance covered it but not really, subject to $5750 out of pocket before it was covered 100%. Before then nothing, so $1200. Kubats $275 was high and not welcome until later by comparison.
My HCG wasn't in until our plane landed in Surprise, AZ. 1100. A good number. A similar number to Charlie and Michael assuming the same time (my peak day I had identied was only 8 days prior and not likely peak so we were blind, going off first day of last period). 4 weeks 4 days is what we called it. My prog was 9, sad but not unexpected. i had no post peak support. I would hope it rises with all the support, if not then it was time to worry.
The antibiotic was called in Friday (my pos test was Mon). It was Zith this time, new I believe. They said Dr. Toth usually supplements the IV with this, but it can be effective on its own and I know I am not immune to it. It was Thurs before I realized I was only taking one a day when the bottle said two. I could kick myself.
Dh had not much hope to start, what reason do we have to expect another outcome?But I feel unusually optimistic, even from the start. Maybe its the lack of numbers to spook me, I can't get any more HCGs, so I don't even know if it doubled (but assume it did, I only had one that didn't double, most triple right away and look great even my losses). My prog isn't due ago be drawn gain until Tues (today is Sat, I have known for almost two weeks and am over 6 weeks today). By then I will have had an ultrasound, though the doc himself is doing it so it often leads to more uncertainty. I will be 6 w 4 days and by then had strong heartbeats with both my living sons; however a day or two off and he could see nothing. So while I hope to be out of the woods by that appt, I more expect a wait and see, perhaps to confirm the worst.
I have symptoms beyond just the prog. Prog makes me tired and hungry. I take naps and go to bed early. I don't know if I took naps so much this early with others. I will try to see if I noted that. My chest is sore. But beyond that, I am winded and I know there is increased blood flow, something I don't think prog could ever mimic. It seems real.
There are some fears. I am 38 1/2 putting me higher risk and increasing my chance of DS. I wasn't on a prenatal so for once the risk of spina bifida is there. And what if healing this time means longer healing, but not total healing? Thus a 20 week loss? Or a 38 week stillborn? But those thoughts came and went once. They didn't really remain. I continue, with the exception of the very dreary dark weather day we returned from AZ, to be at peace with whatever. I have people praying-mostly those that are from out of state, but a few I know would really want to know and pray (Bekah, Becca, Ly). I had trouble telling others. My mom has a stress induced condition and would die to know I kept this from her as a result. I just told one of three sisters yesterday. I am not afraid to tell or not tell. It just seems weird. The words don't want to come out on the phone, in person, or any other way. I told my BF first. She missed my call and sent a text frantic it was about my mom. "oh no, mom is fine, no need to call. I am just pregnant". She called right away. Ha!
So that is the update on things. I pray the novena to St. Jude and St. Joseph daily. And I continue the Holy Spirit prayer asking to accept God's will. My friend who offered the St. Gerard relic when someone was done with it doesn't know, but Ly turned out to be the friend that has it. And she is due any day and told me she would get that to me. So that is an awesome Godincidence. :) I am continuing to wait and see and appreciate the prayers in the meantime and have been grateful for distractions like our trip, my work, and my family.
I am on the journey we are all called to-to accept God's will and perfect love. Whether I am white knuckling it with my eyes shut tight or standing up with my arms outstretched enjoying the ride, I try always to let God be the driver and not bail out the side when there are bumps (like IF!). On good days, I trust He won't run me into a tree. :)
Showing posts with label infection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infection. Show all posts
3.18.2017
2.12.2015
This One Won't Be the Same...Updated
...because my baby Gerard will have a proper burial. I found out, after my last post, from AJ's godmother that the local Catholic cemetary (read as 2 seconds from my house) did burials for an insanely reasonable amount. Honestly, I believe the idea of a funeral entered my head with past babies, but I assumed it would be outrageously expensive. I also assumed my husband wouldn't go for it, and it would be a fight. So I didn't go there. A decision made from lack of information.
When something terrible happens, people don't want to discuss it. I am no exception. It is just recently that I have opened up to a fellow blogger, my mom, and some friends that when I passed Nicholas (loss #4), I had him in my hands. I didn't expect it. I was early. He was perfect. I was in awe and simultaneously terrified. I didn't know what to do. I had no plan. My husband didn't know what to do. He was totally freaked out. It was winter, a fire was going. I knew people buried babies on their land. I have two digging up worms type of boys and a large German Shepherd. I didn't feel comfortable with that. I didn't love it, but I considered us cremating the baby. It was better than flushing the baby down the toilet with the rest. Before then I had two D&C's after losses and one loss very early where nothing was discernible. This was different. I was so unprepared. Due to fear, and lack of information, my baby went knowingly back in the toilet. It makes me want to throw up. It really was our dirty little secret. I felt like a pro life fraud. I felt alone. No support in that area of my loss.
But this baby will be different. After my friend telling me, I called. And yesterday I heard back. Yes, they have a program. Just a few years old or so, so not around for my first two losses. For a mere $75, you can have a service if you like, a 12x12 plot, and a 12x12 headstone engraved with the baby's name and date. They supply the container and everything you need. And you know what? You can bring the baby in yourself, so if you pass the baby at home that is totally fine. I just assumed there were rules against that sort of thing! The baby is buried in their Memorial garden for miscarriage and stillborns (there are more rules so the cost is more for stillborns-$300 and you do your own headstone, which someone shared with me can be done cheaply through a link I will try to remember to come back and supply). The garden has the Infant of Prague statue. It is beautiful. There is a wall where all the names are engraved again. And it is right off my street the way I pass at least twice a day, and this area is right where I can see from the road. I can hardly believe it exists, and yet, what I really can't believe is how I didn't know about it. After I talked to the woman I went and saw for myself. This Catholic cemetery, so beautiful. Clearly valuing life. The Knights have a memorial to all the victims of abortion. It is just incredible.
Well, you know I am a woman on a mission now. I took pamphlets and they are already gone. I am telling my doctor (Catholic pro life, never said a word before). I am telling my mother, who is a social worker at the hospital. I am telling my priests. I already had it announced at the arch diocesan bible study and I can't tell you how many women will be reached. Laura H said based on the response to her announcement this was very new information to most. I am sure. My mom lost a 20 week old and she was never able to have a funeral. So sad!
Gerard will be at rest so close! Likely where dh and I will be buried. While I wish they were all there, I can't change the past. I can only help others who don't know.
Tomorrow I have a D&C. It is fast, I know. But I decided on one recently for several reasons, some good and some not. First, my children and I are doing the swimming thing March 1. I can swim 2 weeks post operation per my doctor's office. I could swim if I did it natural, but I probably wouldn't want to. I have bled before for a long time. It is hard to see that blood. It is painful emotionally. I am a control person. I don't like not knowing where or when. When it gets bad, it's heavy blood and cramping. I don't want that to sneak up on my when I am with my kids. I have bad memories of doing it at home with Nicholas. And Michael, my first. I had a D&C with Michael, but it was scheduled so far out I did pass all but Michael at home. I was more than 10 weeks, it was a ton of blood and very scary. I wasn't prepared, thinking I would not do this at home. They kept asking me how much blood, a pad an hour? how does one know when they can't leave the toilet?! So that was my reasoning.
Once I decided I called the doctor's office. My sono wasn't until Monday. I was curious if they thought they would get me in that Wed. Except the doc was going to be out of town all week. They let me get scanned today, and the baby had passed. Still measuring 6 weeks, so no growth in exactly 7 days. And no heartbeat. It was hard, but good. And you know the tech was Catholic and didn't know about the cemetery option? So there you go!
I got a good reflection someone shared with me I want to pass on with you, but dh is home with the antibacterial soap so I need to start prepping by showering and getting some food. I can't eat after midnight and surgery isn't until 1pm CST! Please pray for me. I know you will, and I am so comforted by that!
Update: God is purifying me by fire today. I am starving despite the cookie dough and milk at 10pm and the dinner that followed. I am such a wuss when it comes to food. But mostly because Charlie (who knows I am having surgery, has been reassured it isn't major and i am okay, and we haven't told about pregnancy because we are waiting until he is home all weekend to process it) told me this morning excitedly: "I know why you are having surgery today, mama! It's to fix your broken belly so we can have lots and lots of cute babies!" I told him we just found out recently that my broken belly isn't fixable and that no more babies will be grown in my belly; however, maybe someday we can help someone who can't take care of their own baby by raising it." This. This child! But that won't kill me as much as the people who know what is going on and make comments like the one I got this morning after a preK drop off; it was basically that she had two boys and is totally done because, you know, if she had another boy she would die. Seriously? Seriously! Even knowing our situation. And that we have two boys. Obviously we wouldn't die if we got another boy. Some people. We are put here to wake them from their obliviousness. More on that when I can write the next post. I am offering everything today up for my child's godparents, for my friend waiting for her amnio results (she is at risk for a stillborn due to a genetic condition the baby may have based on bloodwork), and for all those waiting and wanting a(nother) child.
Update: God is purifying me by fire today. I am starving despite the cookie dough and milk at 10pm and the dinner that followed. I am such a wuss when it comes to food. But mostly because Charlie (who knows I am having surgery, has been reassured it isn't major and i am okay, and we haven't told about pregnancy because we are waiting until he is home all weekend to process it) told me this morning excitedly: "I know why you are having surgery today, mama! It's to fix your broken belly so we can have lots and lots of cute babies!" I told him we just found out recently that my broken belly isn't fixable and that no more babies will be grown in my belly; however, maybe someday we can help someone who can't take care of their own baby by raising it." This. This child! But that won't kill me as much as the people who know what is going on and make comments like the one I got this morning after a preK drop off; it was basically that she had two boys and is totally done because, you know, if she had another boy she would die. Seriously? Seriously! Even knowing our situation. And that we have two boys. Obviously we wouldn't die if we got another boy. Some people. We are put here to wake them from their obliviousness. More on that when I can write the next post. I am offering everything today up for my child's godparents, for my friend waiting for her amnio results (she is at risk for a stillborn due to a genetic condition the baby may have based on bloodwork), and for all those waiting and wanting a(nother) child.
1.15.2015
114-14dpo
Last night I prepared for bible study today and it was just beautiful. We are doing Romans (love!) and this time it was all about suffering.
I also woke up to an email from Dr. Toth in the night about the Clindamycin. He told me the drug may not kill the infection, but it likely won't multiply and will allow for better implantation. As I progress, he may give me something else. So we started it today. My feelings are...if God wants this, He will make it happen despite our mistakes; if God doesn't want this, nothing we do matters. I could totally be wrong, I have never felt this way before, but it is good to give up control. I also continue to try and offer the baby to God daily, and try to desire His will to be mine.
My husband is working extra hours this time of year, so I had to do school drop of for Charlie today. Which meant I had some down time between that and bible study. So I slipped into the adoration chapel with AJ and discovered they were doing the Divine Mercy Chaplet and rosary, which was awesome. Following that, we had a fantastic discussion of suffering at bible study.
I went on to do the blood draw at the hospital. I was feeling good because I had POAS that morning and found a dark positive. I was very pleased with the 114 result and took it up to my ob, same as before. We made a new ob appt. These are basically worthless, but required to get any care. Thankfully, they don't make me wait 8 weeks or anything and we just do them whenever. Mine is next Thursday, which is fine. I know they will give me the hospital registration and sample packet. I refused this last time. It was the worst having it around after a loss. I told them to keep it for later! But he will probably scan me that day, because he is awesome like that, so we will be able to see a sac if my levels keep up.
Tonight I asked Charlie to pray for me. He said "God please give mommy another baby." I smiled. He is so sweet, and desperately wants another sibling. He has been asking daily for sometime, and I told him to ask God not me, but this was a first that I have heard. :)
I also woke up to an email from Dr. Toth in the night about the Clindamycin. He told me the drug may not kill the infection, but it likely won't multiply and will allow for better implantation. As I progress, he may give me something else. So we started it today. My feelings are...if God wants this, He will make it happen despite our mistakes; if God doesn't want this, nothing we do matters. I could totally be wrong, I have never felt this way before, but it is good to give up control. I also continue to try and offer the baby to God daily, and try to desire His will to be mine.
My husband is working extra hours this time of year, so I had to do school drop of for Charlie today. Which meant I had some down time between that and bible study. So I slipped into the adoration chapel with AJ and discovered they were doing the Divine Mercy Chaplet and rosary, which was awesome. Following that, we had a fantastic discussion of suffering at bible study.
I went on to do the blood draw at the hospital. I was feeling good because I had POAS that morning and found a dark positive. I was very pleased with the 114 result and took it up to my ob, same as before. We made a new ob appt. These are basically worthless, but required to get any care. Thankfully, they don't make me wait 8 weeks or anything and we just do them whenever. Mine is next Thursday, which is fine. I know they will give me the hospital registration and sample packet. I refused this last time. It was the worst having it around after a loss. I told them to keep it for later! But he will probably scan me that day, because he is awesome like that, so we will be able to see a sac if my levels keep up.
Tonight I asked Charlie to pray for me. He said "God please give mommy another baby." I smiled. He is so sweet, and desperately wants another sibling. He has been asking daily for sometime, and I told him to ask God not me, but this was a first that I have heard. :)
1.14.2015
Gerard
I definitely told too many people actually. And I don't care. My husband might, but it's not his coping mechanism. The more people equals the more prayers. So bloggers, Facebook people I don't run into in real life, my best friend, two sisters, my mom, the priest, a former neighbor, my son's godparents...you get the idea. But I appreciate the prayers more than you'll ever know!
The last 24 hrs have been surreal. I am still feeling happy about things. I have many people praying for us. I started my day with mass, then confession, then telling our story to the priest and getting a blessing for the baby.
Mass was beyond wonderful. The readings, the songs. Everything spoke to me. Even the priest who said it's name is Fr. Gerard. Seriously! The Gospel was about healing. Fr. Gerard told me his mom had five losses before him, three babies in three years live, and then a surprise ten years later. He made great suggestion that during the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord (Feb. 2nd) that I offer our baby to God. Love this priest!
When I told a former neighbor at mass I was pregnant, as she is an awesome prayer warrior, she told me she was sure it was a boy and not to think she was crazy. I didn't, I had been thinking the same thing. Funny, I hadn't had any sense with my other two, but I always have feelings about the babies I lose. I don't know. I have been thinking of this baby as Kolbe, as in Maximilian. Last night Charlie said to me he was his favorite saint out of nowhere. So there are funny things like that which make me smile.
Here's another one. This baby is number seven, a very significant number in the bible related to God's promises. I wanted more info (I just remember Scott Hahn saying "seven oneself" related to making a covenant) and I found this: Seven is the symbolic number of charity, grace, and the Holy Spirit. It is the term that stands for perfection. There are seven sacraments, seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, seven deadly sins, seven joys, and seven sorrows of Our Lady.
Of course it relates to the Holy Spirit. Because more than any other relationship, that is how I connect to God best. I wear a dove on my necklace, and the Holy Spirit prayer is my most frequently stated prayer. Baby seven. Already making history merely by being conceived.
And one more (I am really just rattling on here, but I like to look back and remember these details), today I met an Annabelle. Each one of our babies was going to be Annabelle Grace if a girl. And I have never met one until today. I even made her spell it. :) I just looked up at God and smiled. It was random I even asked. I just feel like God is sending me little assurances. Not assurances like this baby will definitely live. Not like that. I give this baby to God every second of the day. But just keeping my spirits good and knowing He is in control. He has a plan for me. A plan for Good! Oh yes, Jeremiah 29:11 is the bible verse of the month at my son's preschool. It must be a new thing because I have never seen it before, but now I see it and smile. And I think, yep, you've got this.
As I float in my peace bubble, something could have popped it today. But it didn't. And that is your prayers my friends. Today I emailed Dr. Toth and just asked-antibiotics warranted? And he said, yes, just in case, Cleocin....whatever. So Hilgers was nice enough to call it in, and I made my way to Target way too late at night tonight with two tired boys on my own (husband is working crazy hrs this time of year). Only to find out that Cleocin is Clindamyacin. Which is something I am immune too, and he said he wouldn't order again. I believe he said he would have to figure something out (I am considered immune to the two big one he uses during pregnancy), and he probably asked me to remind him. So, I have a useless antibiotic. Likely another day of waiting for them to call something in and get it filled. But that is life. It didn't rock my world. I may not need an antibiotic. On the other hand, it may be no antibiotic left can do what I need it to do (immune systems go down during pregnancy and even if there was only a tiny infection before, it can get a lot worse during pregnancy). Some things are just out of my hands. And in God's. And that feels good for a change! Tomorrow is HCG #2, so please keep praying and check in tomorrow night.
O Great Saint Gerard, beloved servant of Jesus Christ, perfect imitator of your meek and humble Savior, and devoted Child of the Mother of God: enkindle within my heart one spark of that heavenly fire of charity which glowed in your heart and made you an angel of love. O glorious Saint Gerard, because when falsely accused of crime, you did bear, like your Divine master, without murmur or complaint, the calumnies of wicked men, you have been raised up by God as the Patron and Protector of expectant mothers. Preserve me from danger and from the excessive pains accompanying childbirth, and shield the child which I now carry, that it may see the light of day and receive the lustral waters of baptism through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
The last 24 hrs have been surreal. I am still feeling happy about things. I have many people praying for us. I started my day with mass, then confession, then telling our story to the priest and getting a blessing for the baby.
Mass was beyond wonderful. The readings, the songs. Everything spoke to me. Even the priest who said it's name is Fr. Gerard. Seriously! The Gospel was about healing. Fr. Gerard told me his mom had five losses before him, three babies in three years live, and then a surprise ten years later. He made great suggestion that during the Feast of the Presentation of the Lord (Feb. 2nd) that I offer our baby to God. Love this priest!
When I told a former neighbor at mass I was pregnant, as she is an awesome prayer warrior, she told me she was sure it was a boy and not to think she was crazy. I didn't, I had been thinking the same thing. Funny, I hadn't had any sense with my other two, but I always have feelings about the babies I lose. I don't know. I have been thinking of this baby as Kolbe, as in Maximilian. Last night Charlie said to me he was his favorite saint out of nowhere. So there are funny things like that which make me smile.
Here's another one. This baby is number seven, a very significant number in the bible related to God's promises. I wanted more info (I just remember Scott Hahn saying "seven oneself" related to making a covenant) and I found this: Seven is the symbolic number of charity, grace, and the Holy Spirit. It is the term that stands for perfection. There are seven sacraments, seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, seven deadly sins, seven joys, and seven sorrows of Our Lady.
Of course it relates to the Holy Spirit. Because more than any other relationship, that is how I connect to God best. I wear a dove on my necklace, and the Holy Spirit prayer is my most frequently stated prayer. Baby seven. Already making history merely by being conceived.
And one more (I am really just rattling on here, but I like to look back and remember these details), today I met an Annabelle. Each one of our babies was going to be Annabelle Grace if a girl. And I have never met one until today. I even made her spell it. :) I just looked up at God and smiled. It was random I even asked. I just feel like God is sending me little assurances. Not assurances like this baby will definitely live. Not like that. I give this baby to God every second of the day. But just keeping my spirits good and knowing He is in control. He has a plan for me. A plan for Good! Oh yes, Jeremiah 29:11 is the bible verse of the month at my son's preschool. It must be a new thing because I have never seen it before, but now I see it and smile. And I think, yep, you've got this.
As I float in my peace bubble, something could have popped it today. But it didn't. And that is your prayers my friends. Today I emailed Dr. Toth and just asked-antibiotics warranted? And he said, yes, just in case, Cleocin....whatever. So Hilgers was nice enough to call it in, and I made my way to Target way too late at night tonight with two tired boys on my own (husband is working crazy hrs this time of year). Only to find out that Cleocin is Clindamyacin. Which is something I am immune too, and he said he wouldn't order again. I believe he said he would have to figure something out (I am considered immune to the two big one he uses during pregnancy), and he probably asked me to remind him. So, I have a useless antibiotic. Likely another day of waiting for them to call something in and get it filled. But that is life. It didn't rock my world. I may not need an antibiotic. On the other hand, it may be no antibiotic left can do what I need it to do (immune systems go down during pregnancy and even if there was only a tiny infection before, it can get a lot worse during pregnancy). Some things are just out of my hands. And in God's. And that feels good for a change! Tomorrow is HCG #2, so please keep praying and check in tomorrow night.
O Great Saint Gerard, beloved servant of Jesus Christ, perfect imitator of your meek and humble Savior, and devoted Child of the Mother of God: enkindle within my heart one spark of that heavenly fire of charity which glowed in your heart and made you an angel of love. O glorious Saint Gerard, because when falsely accused of crime, you did bear, like your Divine master, without murmur or complaint, the calumnies of wicked men, you have been raised up by God as the Patron and Protector of expectant mothers. Preserve me from danger and from the excessive pains accompanying childbirth, and shield the child which I now carry, that it may see the light of day and receive the lustral waters of baptism through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.
9.29.2013
WIDE OPEN!
So, I left off where Meriam told me to come on down to Omaha for prep. I really appreciated the anonymous blogger who assured me it likely wasn't for nothing. And it wasn't. The irony is that my period start Wed at 10:30pm. I don't know about y'all, but I almost always start first thing in the morning. But by starting when I did, surgery actually became CD3. How about that?! Not bad for scheduling a month out and all the stress, etc when the goal was 4-8. Not bad at all. God has a funny sense of humor :)
Omaha was good. We stayed at Hawthorne Suites about 2 min from ppvi. It was only $64 for a king suite and it included a kitchen and hot breakfast. It was a great recommendation off the discussion board. It was great to do my preop at Creighton with Nina. Nina. Who last year recognized me from six years prior. She is kind of amazing. It was good to see a familiar face. Then was the ultrasound with Rachel. She was pretty new last year when I went. Then I got to do my favorite part, say a big thank you to every nurse I see. Teresa is pregnant with child number 8! And Stefani is just as young and adorable as she sounds on the phone. Meeting Dr. Hilger's son Steve went well. And we were all set for the next day. We found a great little cafe and cupcake place not far aways, Jones Cupcakes. Yum!
We were at the hospital bright and early at 5:45am. I did get a little teary after the nurse put the IV in, thinking this is likely my last surgery and hopeful for the outcome. The last thing I remember is a nurse asking me if I wanted a rosary and slipping it into my hands, telling me it was blessed by the pope! I love Dr. H!
I woke up and things were mostly good. A surgery is never easy, but they handle my nausea with anesthesia well and know better than to even suggest a narcotic. I had less shoulder pain with the gas, though there was definitely some. They seemed a little short staffed and let me sleep until 3pm, which seems unheard of. I am used to getting kicked out when I can barely stand. I thought I could go home late that same day, but I didn't really factor in that a late check out isn't really at all that late so we extended another day and went home Saturday. I almost didn't have a choice, there was some rodeo in town, but someone expected cancelled.
My mom is so cute, she knew that my follow up with Dr. H wasn't until Oct. 10 and that I needed all the info before then if we were to try same cycle as Dr. Toth wanted. She totally recorded verbatim what Dr. Hilgers said. He agreed we could try this cycle and confirmed my tubes were OPEN! He didn't have to do a thing. Great news, of course!
He reviewed my meds when he got back to the office, and advised me for this cycle. He wants me off the turmeric, fyi, and he did say I needed to do the dreaded inflammation diet. Everything inside the uterus where I had the washes looked great. Unfortunately everything outside the uterus was very inflamed.
Today is Sunday, I am off the pain meds and doing more around the house. I get tired easily, but that is okay. I definitely feel I can go back to work tomorrow. I am not 100% today, but good enough. The not lifting for two weeks is definitely going to be the challenge. Thank you all for your prayers! ***Update-while the gas in my shoulders isn't as much of an issue as it was before, it seems to come when I am sitting or laying down making rest quite difficult at night or during the day. This seems more drug out then I remember and adds to an overall crummy feeling. Pain meds don't help for this, I think the only thing that really helps is being up and around. Also, the anesthesiologist took a little knick out of the roof of my mouth, so eating is painful unless its soft foods. I might work a half day today (Monday) from home. Feeling pretty puny.
Omaha was good. We stayed at Hawthorne Suites about 2 min from ppvi. It was only $64 for a king suite and it included a kitchen and hot breakfast. It was a great recommendation off the discussion board. It was great to do my preop at Creighton with Nina. Nina. Who last year recognized me from six years prior. She is kind of amazing. It was good to see a familiar face. Then was the ultrasound with Rachel. She was pretty new last year when I went. Then I got to do my favorite part, say a big thank you to every nurse I see. Teresa is pregnant with child number 8! And Stefani is just as young and adorable as she sounds on the phone. Meeting Dr. Hilger's son Steve went well. And we were all set for the next day. We found a great little cafe and cupcake place not far aways, Jones Cupcakes. Yum!
We were at the hospital bright and early at 5:45am. I did get a little teary after the nurse put the IV in, thinking this is likely my last surgery and hopeful for the outcome. The last thing I remember is a nurse asking me if I wanted a rosary and slipping it into my hands, telling me it was blessed by the pope! I love Dr. H!
I woke up and things were mostly good. A surgery is never easy, but they handle my nausea with anesthesia well and know better than to even suggest a narcotic. I had less shoulder pain with the gas, though there was definitely some. They seemed a little short staffed and let me sleep until 3pm, which seems unheard of. I am used to getting kicked out when I can barely stand. I thought I could go home late that same day, but I didn't really factor in that a late check out isn't really at all that late so we extended another day and went home Saturday. I almost didn't have a choice, there was some rodeo in town, but someone expected cancelled.
My mom is so cute, she knew that my follow up with Dr. H wasn't until Oct. 10 and that I needed all the info before then if we were to try same cycle as Dr. Toth wanted. She totally recorded verbatim what Dr. Hilgers said. He agreed we could try this cycle and confirmed my tubes were OPEN! He didn't have to do a thing. Great news, of course!
He reviewed my meds when he got back to the office, and advised me for this cycle. He wants me off the turmeric, fyi, and he did say I needed to do the dreaded inflammation diet. Everything inside the uterus where I had the washes looked great. Unfortunately everything outside the uterus was very inflamed.
Today is Sunday, I am off the pain meds and doing more around the house. I get tired easily, but that is okay. I definitely feel I can go back to work tomorrow. I am not 100% today, but good enough. The not lifting for two weeks is definitely going to be the challenge. Thank you all for your prayers! ***Update-while the gas in my shoulders isn't as much of an issue as it was before, it seems to come when I am sitting or laying down making rest quite difficult at night or during the day. This seems more drug out then I remember and adds to an overall crummy feeling. Pain meds don't help for this, I think the only thing that really helps is being up and around. Also, the anesthesiologist took a little knick out of the roof of my mouth, so eating is painful unless its soft foods. I might work a half day today (Monday) from home. Feeling pretty puny.
9.25.2013
Attempting to Let Him Lead
From the last post you may recall reading: "Here we are. Facing potentially $20k in surgery. We are done. Unless God swings the door wide open, we will try with what we have. Tubes blocked or unblocked, we don't know."
Things appear to have changed. While I don't know the outcome and if this path will lead to surgery Friday, I continue on the path that God has lead us by continuing to walk through the doors swinging wide open. The turn of events happened after I posted, of course. I called Dr. Toth to tell him we are canceling the selective HSG due the chance it may not be covered since it isn't within the context of a lap. Dr. Toth's response was unwavering. Do it. Do it in the context of a lap. I confirmed with him about surgery risk and how I thought it was risking infection spreading. His response. Do it. No putting it on me to decide. No ambiguity. Just do it. Couldn't be more clear.
So instead of calling to cancel, I called Dr. Hilger's nurses to ask first of all, this wasn't how it was already set up right? and also, is Dr. Hilgers willing to do this? Again, I was going off my prayer-doors open if this was the path we were meant to take. The nurse brought up two more potential barriers: 1) does Dr. Hilgers have time in his schedule and 2) does the hospital have time for Dr. Hilgers to do this in their OR?
The response was clear again. Yes, Dr. Hilgers will do this, yes he has time, yes the hospital has time. Again, Renee clarified it is likely to be covered. The only "risky" thing is really the unblocking with a catheter, if necessary. I would happily pay that $900 if the hospital bill is paid by insurance.
So we continued to move forward with one more piece unknown. Would I end up in the CD 4-8 window Dr. HIlger's prefers? It looked like it when we set this up but so far, no period. Stress is for sure the likely culprit. I may have had a double peak. Being concerned your job is at risk, a huge deadline coming up with a lot riding on it, a sister that is likely on drugs, a potential upcoming out of state surgery, and my oldest child have some major behavior struggles will do that to you. In talking with Cheryl, the surgery scheduling nurse, she made it sound like there is no way Dr. Hilgers would do it post peak, but he may be willing to do it a day or two earlier. I clarified we were asked to abstain so pregnancy isn't a concern and was told there was more to it than that. So we waited.
A few questions occurred to me that I received clarification on. First, I realized the change to a lap might mean a request for me to abstain and heal. I asked Dr. Toth if he intended for that and he assured me even post lap he wants us to try that very same cycle, unless of course I needed a tubal surgery and required healing from that. Teresa agreed that it was likely alright unless we encountered anything major. I also clarified that likely Dr. Hilgers would not be able to do a tube repair during the surgery, only run the catheter through. Most of those require the robot and that would be another surgery (one I don't imagine we would do). Dr. Toth reminded me that he absolutely believes the tubes are still blocked and doesn't want us to "waste" unprotected intercourse on not tic, so for that reason I hope the surgery will be soon. Miss the hubby. If we have to wait another month, I am not sure that is best for us. I imagine I'd let hubs make that decision if we got there. I can't think that far ahead though.
Today is Wed. Surgery would be Friday. I would leave town tomorrow morning. No period yet. So I called Mariam who is subbing for Cheryl, at her request, to let her know where I was at with things. I am on cycle day 32, but a little unclear about when my peak was. If I went by point of change, it had long past. But if I went by peak-type CM, then it was pretty recent. For these reasons I skipped my draw (after confirming I could get a green light for Clomid without it). Mariam said something I never expected to hear. Come anyway. I was hoping that came from Dr. Steve Hilgers, but it sounds like isn't there. She said the policy is not to cancel surgery, but to still have me come in for all my pre-op appts. Sounds like I am to keep moving forward to me. To be honest, if he does go through with the surgery, then two weeks of healing before ttc sounds a lot better than potentially only a week. Ouch :( That doesn't exactly sound like what God meant when he creates children out of love making.
I am a tad nervous they will cancel only after I get down there and do three pre-op appts (Creighton is first, then ultrasound, then pre op with Dr. Steve Hilgers). But then again, I am still on the path as I promised I would be as long as the doors don't swing shut. Should they swing shut tomorrow after appts, well, then that's what they do. I promised I would keep walking.
Things appear to have changed. While I don't know the outcome and if this path will lead to surgery Friday, I continue on the path that God has lead us by continuing to walk through the doors swinging wide open. The turn of events happened after I posted, of course. I called Dr. Toth to tell him we are canceling the selective HSG due the chance it may not be covered since it isn't within the context of a lap. Dr. Toth's response was unwavering. Do it. Do it in the context of a lap. I confirmed with him about surgery risk and how I thought it was risking infection spreading. His response. Do it. No putting it on me to decide. No ambiguity. Just do it. Couldn't be more clear.
So instead of calling to cancel, I called Dr. Hilger's nurses to ask first of all, this wasn't how it was already set up right? and also, is Dr. Hilgers willing to do this? Again, I was going off my prayer-doors open if this was the path we were meant to take. The nurse brought up two more potential barriers: 1) does Dr. Hilgers have time in his schedule and 2) does the hospital have time for Dr. Hilgers to do this in their OR?
The response was clear again. Yes, Dr. Hilgers will do this, yes he has time, yes the hospital has time. Again, Renee clarified it is likely to be covered. The only "risky" thing is really the unblocking with a catheter, if necessary. I would happily pay that $900 if the hospital bill is paid by insurance.
So we continued to move forward with one more piece unknown. Would I end up in the CD 4-8 window Dr. HIlger's prefers? It looked like it when we set this up but so far, no period. Stress is for sure the likely culprit. I may have had a double peak. Being concerned your job is at risk, a huge deadline coming up with a lot riding on it, a sister that is likely on drugs, a potential upcoming out of state surgery, and my oldest child have some major behavior struggles will do that to you. In talking with Cheryl, the surgery scheduling nurse, she made it sound like there is no way Dr. Hilgers would do it post peak, but he may be willing to do it a day or two earlier. I clarified we were asked to abstain so pregnancy isn't a concern and was told there was more to it than that. So we waited.
A few questions occurred to me that I received clarification on. First, I realized the change to a lap might mean a request for me to abstain and heal. I asked Dr. Toth if he intended for that and he assured me even post lap he wants us to try that very same cycle, unless of course I needed a tubal surgery and required healing from that. Teresa agreed that it was likely alright unless we encountered anything major. I also clarified that likely Dr. Hilgers would not be able to do a tube repair during the surgery, only run the catheter through. Most of those require the robot and that would be another surgery (one I don't imagine we would do). Dr. Toth reminded me that he absolutely believes the tubes are still blocked and doesn't want us to "waste" unprotected intercourse on not tic, so for that reason I hope the surgery will be soon. Miss the hubby. If we have to wait another month, I am not sure that is best for us. I imagine I'd let hubs make that decision if we got there. I can't think that far ahead though.
Today is Wed. Surgery would be Friday. I would leave town tomorrow morning. No period yet. So I called Mariam who is subbing for Cheryl, at her request, to let her know where I was at with things. I am on cycle day 32, but a little unclear about when my peak was. If I went by point of change, it had long past. But if I went by peak-type CM, then it was pretty recent. For these reasons I skipped my draw (after confirming I could get a green light for Clomid without it). Mariam said something I never expected to hear. Come anyway. I was hoping that came from Dr. Steve Hilgers, but it sounds like isn't there. She said the policy is not to cancel surgery, but to still have me come in for all my pre-op appts. Sounds like I am to keep moving forward to me. To be honest, if he does go through with the surgery, then two weeks of healing before ttc sounds a lot better than potentially only a week. Ouch :( That doesn't exactly sound like what God meant when he creates children out of love making.
I am a tad nervous they will cancel only after I get down there and do three pre-op appts (Creighton is first, then ultrasound, then pre op with Dr. Steve Hilgers). But then again, I am still on the path as I promised I would be as long as the doors don't swing shut. Should they swing shut tomorrow after appts, well, then that's what they do. I promised I would keep walking.
It reminds me of the thick fog this morning.
I may only be able to see my own feet and not the path ahead, but I do know who is holding my hand and I trust Him with everything. So here we are. And eventually the Son will come out and burn off a little of that fog, as He always does when the time is right.
Until then I will just grip a little tighter.
9.18.2013
The End of the Road?
Dramatic title, much? Yes, I know, but I do want to ponder this topic out loud.
But first, quick updates and background. We will wrap up our oral antibiotics on Sept. 26th. It's been good, for the most part. I do have bright orange urine once or twice a day, but thankfully my tears and sweat didn't change color. There have been a lot of sweaty 100+ days around here. That could have been...awkward.
I am taking a pretty benign probiotic, Syntol, and a second one called Yeast Management. These are mostly aimed at yeast and probably not as comprehensive as some. Dh takes align, nothing special, and hardly takes it daily. He does eat yogurt regularly, which I think can help but isn't the end all. We are, again, in general, doing great. I did have one day with very loose stools that could have been very embarrassing had I been working from my office. And that's all I am going to say about that! My dh has survived in that area. He did, we believe, have symptoms of yeast he got from me prior to all this. Those continued. My symptoms of yeast went away after treatment until about day 12 on orals. And then I died the slow death known as the yeas.t infection. Lord knows I am not exaggerating and if I could have physically removed my lady parts in anyway, I would have, and been quite happy about it. But this from someone who also didn't show enough restraint around the halloween candy.
I decided to be so smart and go to the drug store for an OTC treatment. I always forget about those. One day treatment does not in one day heal, fyi. More like 3-7. Ugh. The cream had another bad effect-making me unsure of my observations. On a month that correct charting is essential. Not good.
Dh was also treating OTC for yeast and he felt he wasn't improving. I called Dr. Toth's office as they suggested if not better and they were about to script Difl.ucan for both of us (despite me not mentioning my problem) when...oops. It decreases the effectiveness of Rifampin. So don't take together. So you should probably stop taking Rifampin and finish up after Difl.ucan. My question-will that put taking Rifampin during my fertile time or even post ovulation? Is that safe? I didn't really like the idea of disrupting our protocol. Dawn put Dr. Toth on the line who promptly said he didn't like the idea of me taking Rifampin on it's own. Our choices were to: a) ride it out. Difl.ucan (one pill, twice a week for two weeks totally four pills each) after Rifampin is done on the 26th or b) take Difl.ucan now if we must, but quit Rifampin permanently. Guess whose riding it out? Yup. These suckers.
So I continue to heal and dh continues to tread water. I can tell you he doesn't seem to be near as uncomfortable as I was or even am now 5 days post 1 day treatment so I don't feel too bad.
Some other updates, Dr. Hilger's office has been amazing in that they came back with a SHSG date of 9/27/13. Yup, the day after I finish abx. The catch, I need to be CD 4-8. Not like a reg HSG where I could be any old day. A very tight window of cycle combined with a very tight window of when Dr. Toth wanted it. They seemed to align. I got a call a few days later from Cheryl, the surgery scheduler with more info. Did it look like I would ovulate on time? I told her I might be late. Work was crazy stressful. Like I have responsibility for $25 million work of human subject protection work to take care of in a short timeline when new info keeps coming out of the woodwork. I was kind of freaking out I wouldn't meet my deadline, meaning we could not get approved to collected the data in time, when folks were scheduled with plane tickets already. That kind of pressure. Then Cheryl is on the phone saying here is your pre-op appt (wait, I have to go down a day early-I was thinking this was a one day deal?) and you'll also need an u/s the day before and a hospital pre-op. Yikes-I am thinking if my mom goes with me so the hospital will release me, then who will watch the kids...and you are telling me, don't stress, we need you to ovulate so you will be on CD 4-8?! Aaaaaahhhhh!
But my head didn't explode. instead I had peak type mucus that day, because I am weird like that. My prayer was for things to line up if we should go and they were. I have childcare. I have someone to go with me. I have a date that works with cycle (so far) and Dr. Toth's requests. So what's the problem. It's a teensy thing Cheryl said in all that "don't stress" talk. I said, just a little concerned that my insurance won't cover the HSG in a hospital. Clearly that bill could be huge. Her response? Oh, those are rarely covered. Okay.....I trust you, God. Really. But really?!
I called Rene to pre cert. The thought was, if it isn't covered then we won't go. Period. My tubes could be freaking open, people. I don't want to pay a surgery on my own dime to find this out!!!! On the flip side, they could be closed. And a little catheter through and they could be open. A little procedure. With a big price tag. A $20,000 hospital only self pay price tag, not including any of the doc bills (Hilgers, radiology, and anesthesiology) per Rene. Insert more bad news. First of all, BCBS will say they never pay SHSG. But the good news, they always do in the context of a lap. But the bad news, I am not having a lap. More bad news, there is no one that she knows that has done it this way so nothing to go on. And while precert isn't necessary, she would do it. But it's no guarantee. And they will say no, because they always say no to SHSG. Despite the fact they say they will cover dx of but not tx of infertility. To check the tubes, in my book, is to dx. To unblock is to treat. Heck, I would pay the $900 to unblock them if they were blocked if the $20k hospital bill was tied to the dx and not the tx. She guessed it was a 50/50 chance. She will talk to her supervisor, but that's what she is thinking. That, my friends, is not a risk I am willing to take. On tubes that may be already blocked. Oh, Erin, I hope you are right!
So, I have heard a lot of discussion on the yahoo health board about when to say when with ttc. And while I am sure it is different for everyone, I can tell you my journey, I have had enormous peace come over me in the last 18 months and time to absorb the fact that I may not have another child. There are moments of sadness, but it didn't have to come all at once. It was an adjustment over time. I am extremely grateful for my boys. I would love another child. But I have peace. I do not feel desperate. I do not ever want to make ttc my life or my God. Despite all we've done, it hasn't bothered me. Everyone is different on how much is too much. For me, what has bothered me is the losses. The four babies I can not hold. That will never snuggle into me and let me sniff them or squeeze me tight when they are scared. The hair I can't brush out of their eyes. Their cries I can't comfort. In a therapy session, I drew a line I didn't know I had until it came out. One more loss and I am done. Dh agreed. Dr. Toth confirmed, said completely independently. In that office we came up with another line we'd draw. If the tubes were blocked, as in tubal reconstruction blocked, we were done. Here we are. Facing potentially $20k in surgery. We are done. Unless God swings the door wide open, we will try with what we have. Tubes blocked or unblocked, we don't know. But we will not pursue further expensive treatments. We will take these next three cycles to try. The tubes may very well be open after inflammation goes down, but they may be shut in a minor way or a big way. And we are going to let it go. We will not have turned over every possible leaf. That's okay. I know in my heart it is not for us to spend this money. It won't be good on my marriage. I don't feel responsible spending it. God has a plan for us. It may be our two boys. It may be future adopted children. I have no idea. But I trust in His plan. It really wasn't a hard decision to make. It made sense to both of us and we are at peace. It wasn't even a hard decision. We just stepped outside of the situation and thought spending that money is nuts. For us, its nuts. Sometimes when you are too close to the situation, you come up with all sorts of what ifs and how our circumstances make this special. For us, stepping outside made it clearer. We have not drawn a line yet, but in the future we may have to decide again when to stop actively ttc with clomid. We know 3 cyles was enough for each of our other pregnancies, but perhaps we will need 6 to let go. I don't know. And it will be hard if we don't conceive. But despite hard times, there can still be peace in our decision. I sure know that from experience that day in the airport. I am excited about what lies ahead. If God writes our story, it will continue to be incredible.
But first, quick updates and background. We will wrap up our oral antibiotics on Sept. 26th. It's been good, for the most part. I do have bright orange urine once or twice a day, but thankfully my tears and sweat didn't change color. There have been a lot of sweaty 100+ days around here. That could have been...awkward.
I am taking a pretty benign probiotic, Syntol, and a second one called Yeast Management. These are mostly aimed at yeast and probably not as comprehensive as some. Dh takes align, nothing special, and hardly takes it daily. He does eat yogurt regularly, which I think can help but isn't the end all. We are, again, in general, doing great. I did have one day with very loose stools that could have been very embarrassing had I been working from my office. And that's all I am going to say about that! My dh has survived in that area. He did, we believe, have symptoms of yeast he got from me prior to all this. Those continued. My symptoms of yeast went away after treatment until about day 12 on orals. And then I died the slow death known as the yeas.t infection. Lord knows I am not exaggerating and if I could have physically removed my lady parts in anyway, I would have, and been quite happy about it. But this from someone who also didn't show enough restraint around the halloween candy.
I decided to be so smart and go to the drug store for an OTC treatment. I always forget about those. One day treatment does not in one day heal, fyi. More like 3-7. Ugh. The cream had another bad effect-making me unsure of my observations. On a month that correct charting is essential. Not good.
Dh was also treating OTC for yeast and he felt he wasn't improving. I called Dr. Toth's office as they suggested if not better and they were about to script Difl.ucan for both of us (despite me not mentioning my problem) when...oops. It decreases the effectiveness of Rifampin. So don't take together. So you should probably stop taking Rifampin and finish up after Difl.ucan. My question-will that put taking Rifampin during my fertile time or even post ovulation? Is that safe? I didn't really like the idea of disrupting our protocol. Dawn put Dr. Toth on the line who promptly said he didn't like the idea of me taking Rifampin on it's own. Our choices were to: a) ride it out. Difl.ucan (one pill, twice a week for two weeks totally four pills each) after Rifampin is done on the 26th or b) take Difl.ucan now if we must, but quit Rifampin permanently. Guess whose riding it out? Yup. These suckers.
So I continue to heal and dh continues to tread water. I can tell you he doesn't seem to be near as uncomfortable as I was or even am now 5 days post 1 day treatment so I don't feel too bad.
Some other updates, Dr. Hilger's office has been amazing in that they came back with a SHSG date of 9/27/13. Yup, the day after I finish abx. The catch, I need to be CD 4-8. Not like a reg HSG where I could be any old day. A very tight window of cycle combined with a very tight window of when Dr. Toth wanted it. They seemed to align. I got a call a few days later from Cheryl, the surgery scheduler with more info. Did it look like I would ovulate on time? I told her I might be late. Work was crazy stressful. Like I have responsibility for $25 million work of human subject protection work to take care of in a short timeline when new info keeps coming out of the woodwork. I was kind of freaking out I wouldn't meet my deadline, meaning we could not get approved to collected the data in time, when folks were scheduled with plane tickets already. That kind of pressure. Then Cheryl is on the phone saying here is your pre-op appt (wait, I have to go down a day early-I was thinking this was a one day deal?) and you'll also need an u/s the day before and a hospital pre-op. Yikes-I am thinking if my mom goes with me so the hospital will release me, then who will watch the kids...and you are telling me, don't stress, we need you to ovulate so you will be on CD 4-8?! Aaaaaahhhhh!
But my head didn't explode. instead I had peak type mucus that day, because I am weird like that. My prayer was for things to line up if we should go and they were. I have childcare. I have someone to go with me. I have a date that works with cycle (so far) and Dr. Toth's requests. So what's the problem. It's a teensy thing Cheryl said in all that "don't stress" talk. I said, just a little concerned that my insurance won't cover the HSG in a hospital. Clearly that bill could be huge. Her response? Oh, those are rarely covered. Okay.....I trust you, God. Really. But really?!
I called Rene to pre cert. The thought was, if it isn't covered then we won't go. Period. My tubes could be freaking open, people. I don't want to pay a surgery on my own dime to find this out!!!! On the flip side, they could be closed. And a little catheter through and they could be open. A little procedure. With a big price tag. A $20,000 hospital only self pay price tag, not including any of the doc bills (Hilgers, radiology, and anesthesiology) per Rene. Insert more bad news. First of all, BCBS will say they never pay SHSG. But the good news, they always do in the context of a lap. But the bad news, I am not having a lap. More bad news, there is no one that she knows that has done it this way so nothing to go on. And while precert isn't necessary, she would do it. But it's no guarantee. And they will say no, because they always say no to SHSG. Despite the fact they say they will cover dx of but not tx of infertility. To check the tubes, in my book, is to dx. To unblock is to treat. Heck, I would pay the $900 to unblock them if they were blocked if the $20k hospital bill was tied to the dx and not the tx. She guessed it was a 50/50 chance. She will talk to her supervisor, but that's what she is thinking. That, my friends, is not a risk I am willing to take. On tubes that may be already blocked. Oh, Erin, I hope you are right!
So, I have heard a lot of discussion on the yahoo health board about when to say when with ttc. And while I am sure it is different for everyone, I can tell you my journey, I have had enormous peace come over me in the last 18 months and time to absorb the fact that I may not have another child. There are moments of sadness, but it didn't have to come all at once. It was an adjustment over time. I am extremely grateful for my boys. I would love another child. But I have peace. I do not feel desperate. I do not ever want to make ttc my life or my God. Despite all we've done, it hasn't bothered me. Everyone is different on how much is too much. For me, what has bothered me is the losses. The four babies I can not hold. That will never snuggle into me and let me sniff them or squeeze me tight when they are scared. The hair I can't brush out of their eyes. Their cries I can't comfort. In a therapy session, I drew a line I didn't know I had until it came out. One more loss and I am done. Dh agreed. Dr. Toth confirmed, said completely independently. In that office we came up with another line we'd draw. If the tubes were blocked, as in tubal reconstruction blocked, we were done. Here we are. Facing potentially $20k in surgery. We are done. Unless God swings the door wide open, we will try with what we have. Tubes blocked or unblocked, we don't know. But we will not pursue further expensive treatments. We will take these next three cycles to try. The tubes may very well be open after inflammation goes down, but they may be shut in a minor way or a big way. And we are going to let it go. We will not have turned over every possible leaf. That's okay. I know in my heart it is not for us to spend this money. It won't be good on my marriage. I don't feel responsible spending it. God has a plan for us. It may be our two boys. It may be future adopted children. I have no idea. But I trust in His plan. It really wasn't a hard decision to make. It made sense to both of us and we are at peace. It wasn't even a hard decision. We just stepped outside of the situation and thought spending that money is nuts. For us, its nuts. Sometimes when you are too close to the situation, you come up with all sorts of what ifs and how our circumstances make this special. For us, stepping outside made it clearer. We have not drawn a line yet, but in the future we may have to decide again when to stop actively ttc with clomid. We know 3 cyles was enough for each of our other pregnancies, but perhaps we will need 6 to let go. I don't know. And it will be hard if we don't conceive. But despite hard times, there can still be peace in our decision. I sure know that from experience that day in the airport. I am excited about what lies ahead. If God writes our story, it will continue to be incredible.
9.05.2013
Responses to Questions and Comments on our Treatment Posts
I so appreciate those following and I apologize it took a bit to respond to questions. I have cut and pasted them below, from comments, but if I forget one, don't hesitate to let me know.
1. Once you complete the treatment, can the infection return or does it cure it for good? Also, is this the extent of his treatment or do some people have to go through even more invasive things.
Great question. Our hope is certainly that the infection will be gone for good, but we don't believe that will be the case. It all depends on how long you have had the infection as well as other things I am sure. Dh was first diagnosed with Ch.amydia before we met in 2003, so I don't recall the exact year. That mean at least 10 long years of the infection in his system, definitely that goes against us curing it forever. Now, he hasn't had active signs that he has known about all that time. He took the usual short course of meds and felt better. Then when there is no way he could have been reinfected, he had symptoms again. And again. One time he tested negative I believe, and still received the meds. The third time they didn't bother testing him. The test (swab) is very painful and not particularly accurate. Dh also tested negative on the new urine test he had recently prior to going to NY and testing positive. Does this mean he didn't really have it? Quite the opposite. We believe the meds killed some of the Chlamydia, but only in its active phase (it has a life cycle, that may not be the right word). If any is left, it can spread and remain in the system, each time perhaps getting nastier and more resistant to the antibiotics provided. Repeat doses of the orals only hurt my dh, didn't help him.
Additionally, there is a good chance Chlamy.dia came down my family line as well. We will never know for sure, but my mom had a miscarriage, as well as both of my older sisters. There are a few classic signs, like my littlest sister (the one after the miscarriage) has a lot more signs of infection and has never been pregnant despite lots of opportunities. She has constant bladder infections, almost no immune system, lots of problems. One of Dr. Toth's book (which I have both as free docs on my computer if you want them) has a quiz in the back to determine risk factors. I can send it to anyone who would like. My family had other risk factors. If my family has passed this through generations, then that is another sign against a complete cure.
Honestly, I think knowing we wouldn't necessarily get a complete cure from treatment was helpful up front. I know more than one person quite disappointed because that is what they were expecting. Treatment is invasive. It's expensive. Like most things in life, it doesn't come with a guarantee, unfortunately.
What we did do was treat something we know we have with the most comprehensive treatment available for it. And for that, we feel good.
I learned the typical "full" testing treatment is: testing in the form of a swab for the guy, cervical culture for the girl, ultrasound on the male's prostate, ultrasound on the female, a semen sample for the male. Treatment is a 10 day IV for each (clindamyacin), 5 days of a broad spectrum antibiotic cocktail shots for the male (all five days include 2 prostate injections each day, two of the days included two seminal vesicle injections). [By the way, my dh perseverated on the number of shots prior and it didn't end up really being a factor. Harder days were given more meds, etc. Many days the second shot wasn't felt at all, etc.] Women typically do the cervical D&C and receive 10 uterine lavages of the broad spectrum antibiotic cocktail (some days can be doubled up-for example two after the D&C is common). Changes can be made to meds based on allergies. There is also 30 days of antibiotics following the IV done to tailor the treatment to the results of the cultures. Add ons, to my understanding, are bladder lavages for those with severe reoccurring bladder infections (women), a full D&C for those women that need it, and for the men who have burning symptoms they can numb the penis completely and do what is referred to as a flagyl cream fill inside the penis. We did not do any of the add on items listed. We also did not do a semen analysis (dh had one in 2008 when we were there). We did not test for everything possible. We tested mycoplasma and CT for me, aerobes and anaerobes and just CT for dh.
2. What have you done as far as probiotics to protect your system during treatment? Have you had any issues with yeast infections with this or past treatment? I struggle with that just under Hilgers antibiotic treatment. Thanks! -Renee
Ironically, we were likely struggling with yeast prior to the treatment so I was worried about that. I had signs of yeast infection, but I let it go assuming it would continue if it was the real deal. It came and went, so I thought it was something else. Dr. Toth said yeast fluctuates based on your cycle so that could have been the cause. One of several symptoms dh was having was likely yeast. We thought it may be due to our internet research prior to going to NY. That has not gone away, he doesn't think. He is going to pay more attention and knows if he still has it, he can get a OTC or prescription cream from Dr. Toth. Since we are not have sex right now, we aren't passing the yeast back and forth and I have had no symptoms during or after treatment related to yeast. I take a probiotic called Syntol, and another called "yeast management" recommended by a friend. I have taken about two a day and will take them a full four weeks following the end of the orals, so it is expensive. I give my dh align or culturelle, so not expensive probiotics really. He always eats greek yogurt daily with his lunch so he continues that. Both of us feel fine on the orals. I have had some loose stools, but my stomach isn't upset at all so far and it hasn't gotten progressively worse. Dh said he feels the same. Physically, we feel pretty great. Dr. Toth actually says the research on probiotics is very mixed. Dr. Hilger's office offered a suggested probiotic and various immune support. I am completely frustrated i can't find the paper I wrote them down on, but I will update the post if I come across them.
3. Hi, thanks for sharing this information. I have a few questions for you if you get a chance to address them. Do you know how prevalent this level of infection is? Are we all walking around with latent infection? Can two people who have only had sex with each other have this type of infection? If you have trouble conceiving but were able to carry the baby to term does that mean you do not have infection? Thanks!
This is so important to discuss.
- First of all, Chlamydi.a itself is the #1 sexually transmitted disease. It is highly prevalent.
- Then consider this: those diagnosed with it think they can take a pill or a few pills and it will be gone. I subscribe to dr. Toth's and other's belief that this is not the case and it can be much more persistent than that. So men that "do the right thing" and get tested and treated and then are given the all clear, could be continuing to spread it to partners.
- Then think about how they test for it: the swab. Men hate the swab, it is by far the most painful thing my husband has ever experienced (yes, worse than prostate injections). So I imagine most men avoid it.
- For those that do test, there are many false negatives. These tests are now machine read to save time and money and that leads to less accuracy. Testing the way dr. Toth does leads to more positives, but he also has a lot more positives than the general population because of who comes to see him. They come to him because they know they have an infection or they know they have all the symptoms. Even Dr. Toth will tell you the test is limited to the area they test-is there active infection in that area at that time. So if all your history and symptoms scream infection, then you probably have it even if your test is negative. In fact, some couples only have one member test positive. Of course both should still be treated.
- Unfortunately, Chlamydi.a is spread more ways than just by se.x. It is spread to children through delivery. So you can be a virgin and have Chlamydia and not know it. You can be married and both you and your husband were virgins before you got married, and both have Chlamydia. Most people don't realize this.
- Finally, Chlamydia isn't the only infection that causes infertility. It isn't the only infection Dr. Toth tests for and treats. He is a pathologist. He treats all infections. Traditional "STDs" aren't the only ones that cause infertility. Many infections affect fertility. So if you have had STD testing, or are a virgin, you can still have an infection that affects your fertility. When I think about how many people have trouble getting pregnant, miscarry, deliver early..when I think of how many people have unprotected sex and premarital sex...I think infections are a huge epidemic due to being under diagnosed and under treated. One more thing-new research is suggesting Lyme disease (an infection that is spreading widely) may now be sexually transmitted and also passed on through childbirth. I think infections are a big problem in general. Dr. Toth says they are so under researched and that he believes they are tied to more than just IF-heart disease, cancer, etc. The body can't operate the way it was meant to if it is fighting a long term infection.
Airing the Chapel, that may be the result of skimming, or perhaps I didn't address it. I am not sure, so I am glad you asked if you sincerely wanted to know. While I think it is important to treat a systemic infection, I was not 100% convinced we should go to NY. I knew the treatment was expensive and we'd have to fight insurance to get even some paid for. I knew it was no guarantee to fix the problem long term. I knew there was certainly no guarantee of a healthy pregnancy. I knew it was going to painful for my dh. I knew we'd have to leave our children for over a week. I was at peace with our two children. I was also open to the possibility of adoption. I didn't have a clear sense of what we should do. Not in a tormented indecisive way. In a "I see the benefits to both sides" sort of way. So I did nothing despite the recommendation from Dr. Hilgers. And I prayed about it. And what happened was my dh got symptoms. And my dh was miserable. And my dh lead the effort of looking into it and researching it. And my dh made the final decision that we should go. For the possibility to improve our health for us and the children we already have. He also has a strong desire for a third biological child if possible, but we both agreed we would not pursue that if Dr. Toth thought it was not healthy to pursue. This was huge. Because, you see, my husband doesn't like to be away from our children (more than the average parent). He actually has paranoia that something will happen to us or them (he lost his dad in a car wreck at 12). He also doesn't typically go for unconventional treatments. He doesn't like pain (who does?) or needles in even the smallest sense. He is a reasonable guy, a CPA. He was not feeling good. He did his homework. He asked a lot of questions. And as the leader of our family, as well as the primary breadwinner, the one with the day to day symptoms, and the one that had to endure the most during treatment, he said yes. He thought it was best for us and our family. And as he was making that choice prayerfully and doing the research, barriers were removed. Plane ticket credits, hotel credits, deductibles already met, stocks increased in value, work time requested off was granted, my mom was no longer sick and could watch the kids, and things continued to fall in place. Our peace continued so we moved forward.
Regarding why my dh received shots in the prostate, I have cut and pasted some info from Dr. Toth's site:
Functional considerations: The prostate gland serves three basic functions:
Thanks for all your questions. If this sparks more, ask away. Coming soon...hsg next steps.
Regarding whether one could have an infection if they have trouble conceiving, and yet carry to term, I can only say that I don't think carrying to term in and of itself rules out an infection. People can have an infection and then pass it on to a child that is carried to term. Infection doesn't always lead to total inability to get pregnant, inevitable miscarriage, or early delivery and compilation. It can lead to problems for the child conceived in an infectious environment, but not always. The way I knew I had an infection was through multiple routes: 1) I tested positive for ureaplasma urealycticum during my lap with Dr. H-but Dr. H will be the first to tell you that many many patients test negative with him that respond well to antibiotics, 2) my dh's history with infection, 3) I had brown bleeding at the end of my period with normal progesterone levels as checked by Dr. Hilgers at his lab, 4) my miscarriages were consecutively worse-each they happened earlier then the last; plus the babies showed delay when compared to my dates of conception, 5) every lap showed a ton of inflammation that I was told was due to infection or inflammation, and 6) I did well with antibiotics and conceived healthy children until I overused them, my symptoms returned, and I lost babies again. Things that can make infection worse are: pregnancy, miscarriages, and surgery. I had two losses, had two healthy boys after aggressive treatment, then had a surgery, a pregnancy, a miscarriage, a D&C, a pregnancy, another miscarriage. So lots of making the infection worse. If you want to rule out infection, you can have cultures done during a lap with Dr. Hilgers, but since those aren't foolproof either a lot of it comes down to history and symptoms. I suggest reading Dr. Toth's book and taking the quiz. I suggest joining Dr. Toth's yahoo health discussion board found on his website fertilitysolution.com. That would be a good place to start.
1. As a stopgap, it determines whether the man is urinating or ejaculating
2. As an immunological organ, it secretes bactericidal fluid that mixes with the ejaculate and protects spermatozoa
3. Not unlike the tonsils, it serves as a filter for bacteria entering the male body through the urethra. The prostate entraps and sequesters invading bacteria, and undergoes inflammatory and structural changes. In a stationery organ this process would ideally serve the body. As the prostate gland contracts every time a man ejaculates or urinates, these sequestrations are imperfect. Escaping bacteria are squeezed into other healthy parts of the prostate. If they enter the ejaculate, the bacteria will enter the female partner’s reproductive canal and may damage both the physical integrity and reproductive performance of the female genital tract. Once pathogenic bacteria breach the prostate, ascending infection to the bladder and to the kidneys or descending infection to the epididymis can occur. I rarely see males with bladder infections or kidney infections in my practice. I meet patients with epididymal infections regularly.
2. As an immunological organ, it secretes bactericidal fluid that mixes with the ejaculate and protects spermatozoa
3. Not unlike the tonsils, it serves as a filter for bacteria entering the male body through the urethra. The prostate entraps and sequesters invading bacteria, and undergoes inflammatory and structural changes. In a stationery organ this process would ideally serve the body. As the prostate gland contracts every time a man ejaculates or urinates, these sequestrations are imperfect. Escaping bacteria are squeezed into other healthy parts of the prostate. If they enter the ejaculate, the bacteria will enter the female partner’s reproductive canal and may damage both the physical integrity and reproductive performance of the female genital tract. Once pathogenic bacteria breach the prostate, ascending infection to the bladder and to the kidneys or descending infection to the epididymis can occur. I rarely see males with bladder infections or kidney infections in my practice. I meet patients with epididymal infections regularly.
http://www.fertilitysolution.com/Treatment-for-Chronic-Prostatitis/
I hope you have read this in it's entirety. While I appreciate your concern for my husband and the pain he endured, I assure you it was quite voluntary and no one was more sympathetic to what he endured than myself. While I in noway discount what he went through, I would like to add women often go through many difficult things while treating infertility. My husband chose to take some of this on himself, and I honestly appreciate that he wasn't just willing to put me through things and then decline when it was his turn. That being said, I wouldn't have thought any less of him if he chose to not do treatment, I was honestly in a peaceful place and would have accepted that. And, I know that for me personally, going through the lab work, laps, mid lines, D&C's, and shots wasn't a big deal. Shots don't bother me, the pain was not ever severe, etc. It was the emotional part that was hard,, and he shared that with me every step of the way. Not to mention giving me the four shots a week through both pregnancies was harder on him then on me receiving them. My husband, though, has much appreciation for what I have been through. Additionally, I see that he has some pride for tackling something that he was somewhat fearful about. He learned what he was made of, in a sense. He told me before he has never been put to the test when it comes to pain. He showed such awe and appreciation for me having been through childbirth (and no, it wasn't natural; actually when my epidural worked I will go on the record as saying it was actually no big deal; but that first time when they refused to give me an epidural because I "wasn't far along yet", yet I was in hard labor due to pitocin-well, I earned my stripes that day). This was the first time I really heard him express admiration for me in this area. Because I know him, I know he would have been mad at himself if he would have let fear alone be the deciding factor in whether or not we went to NY for treatment. Also, me not nagging him, letting him make the decision, it brought us closer together. Dh, for maybe the first time really immersed himself in this research. It wasn't me. He took a very real personal interest in it this time, even more than before. I had already done the research. We were able to talk about it at a level of detail we hadn't already. We treated our infertility together for the first time. Regardless of the outcome, it was a good experience and we are glad we made the choice to go. Yes, I said we. Dh said he would do it all over again. And that, my friends, is quite the testimony.
8.28.2013
IV Day 10 and Beyond, HSG questions, and news re Dr. Hilgers -updated
I don't think I mentioned this Monday, but I definitely did start my period yesterday, so actually Monday was probably CD1. Also Monday, I had called and left a message first thing with Dr. Hilgers office. I wanted them to hear from me exactly what we had done in NY, as well as the next steps layed out for us. Also, it occurred to me that though Dr Toth had said an HSG could be done anywhere in 30 days, I realized Dr. Hilgers may think differently. First of all, I know Dr Hilgers gets more info from his selective HSG. Secondly, I know Dr. Hilgers unblocked my tubes during the procedure where he was checking the tubes. I didn't want to turn this into two procedures when it only needed to be one. Third, I didn't know if I needed antibiotics on board just for checking. Finally, I wanted to talk to Dr. Hilgers about the need for me to do a cycle review this cycle and have all my meds back on board starting next cycle in case my tubes were unblocked.
On Tuesday morning, I took both my husband's and my IV out yesterday without incident. I just removed all the bandages, covered the spot with an alcohol pad and gauze and pulled out the tiny spaghetti string. It was maybe 10 inches or so. it didn't hurt, and it didn't really bleed at all. I packed up the pumps in bubble wrap and sent it insured to Dr. Toth's office right away. Yesterday was antibiotic free after that. My stomach is not hurting, I continue to have looser stools, but they haven't gotten worse at all.
Yesterday I also talked to Dr. Hilger's nurse, Teresa, and I am glad I did. First of all, she was very interested to hear about NY, as well as Dr. Toth's retirement plans. She had already received a copy of the D&C and HSG results. She listened to everything I said. If I understand right, she did think Dr. Hilgers would like to do an selective HSG, but potentially during a lap to get a better look. I don't know how I feel about that for a few reasons, mostly because I don't know if the risks outweigh the benefits. Once the procedure becomes surgery, I have great fear about spreading any potential remaining infection. Also, who knows when I can get in as we all know his surgery schedule is crazy and timing with this is key. And it just makes the logistics more difficult. I could be wrong, but I thought I could drive to Omaha, have the HSG and drive home. If it turns out I am under anesthesia, I might have to coordinate to bring my mom or someone else with. Just more hassle. If its worth it, fine. But the idea that we might undo $15k worth of treatment with something that may not be necessary...well I think I just stopped breathing for a second there. This is sort of our one chance at this full treatment per dh, you know? Teresa was going to check the surgery schedule and then talk to Dr. Hilgers either by writing it up and getting a written response or at their weekly meeting on Monday. She asked me which I preferred and we both just agreed that this is time sensitive. Obviously, I am going to wait and see what Dr. Hilgers recommends, but I do think he is new to this controlling infection during surgery. It seems there is a good chance it is inflammation and they will open without us even checking. I mean, Dr. Hilgers was able to open them last time with a wire during the selective HSG. That would indicate it probably wasn't scar tissue last time. If its the same, they may open on their own. We could potentially try without even checking them. However, there is risk in that. We are as clean as we will be. We are abstaining. Once we start ttc, we will start sharing any bugs we have that may have been left in either of us. We don't want to "waste" ttc and potentially spreading infection for three months with blocked tubes. So that makes me think we should check them as Dr. Toth suggested. He said anyone could do the procedure and I don't think he was worried about infection spreading for the typical checking of tubes. However, I could be wrong. I don't know much about the procedure and I thought a former patient said the Dr. Toth should be the one to unblock tubes because he can minimize infection. However, Dr. Toth told me he doesn't unblock tubes anymore. I don't know. So then, the question is do i have a local person do an HSG, Dr. Hilgers do an HSG or Dr. Hilgers do a lap HSG? Again, I am open to hearing people's thoughts because I don't know enough about the differences. It seems maybe if Dr. Hilgers does the lap HSG, then he can unblock with a wire whereas he can't unblock them if he is just testing them? However, if you can only unblock the tubes that are closed due to inflammation, that seems to me they will already be opened if that is the case so that isn't a big threat? If they are really blocked due to scar tissue, could that be done during the same lap? I assume not, but I don't really know. If they are blocked and Dr. Hilgers finds out through HSG that doesn't include a lap, will he have teh full info he needs to determine if it is a minor versus major repair. If it's minor surgery repair, obviously I will be facing the surgery decision regardless if we avoided the HSG lap. So lots of unknowns about the procedure and risk. I will wait for Dr. Hilgers input, but in the meantime I would like to hear from those of you with experience.
Teresa also had some helpful recommendations for immune support.
This morning we started the oral antibiotics. We are on once a day 300 mg and 500 mg Zithromax. The is the one that can tint your sweat, tears, urine etc red so that would be crazy. It also might upset your stomach, but is best taken on an empty stomach. I took it at 7, felt nauseated around 8:45am despite breakfast by then, and then felt better around 10:30am. That makes me think it was the medicine, but we'll see. Charlie said he feels sick to his stomach after breakfast, so it could be a bug or a something we both ate.
The news I wanted to share about Dr. Hilgers that I am excited about is that both his son and daughter are ob/gyns and doing a fellowship with him. How cool is that?! I wish Dr. Toth would work more toward training others, but I am so grateful to Dr. Hilgers commitment to continue his life's work!
On Tuesday morning, I took both my husband's and my IV out yesterday without incident. I just removed all the bandages, covered the spot with an alcohol pad and gauze and pulled out the tiny spaghetti string. It was maybe 10 inches or so. it didn't hurt, and it didn't really bleed at all. I packed up the pumps in bubble wrap and sent it insured to Dr. Toth's office right away. Yesterday was antibiotic free after that. My stomach is not hurting, I continue to have looser stools, but they haven't gotten worse at all.
Yesterday I also talked to Dr. Hilger's nurse, Teresa, and I am glad I did. First of all, she was very interested to hear about NY, as well as Dr. Toth's retirement plans. She had already received a copy of the D&C and HSG results. She listened to everything I said. If I understand right, she did think Dr. Hilgers would like to do an selective HSG, but potentially during a lap to get a better look. I don't know how I feel about that for a few reasons, mostly because I don't know if the risks outweigh the benefits. Once the procedure becomes surgery, I have great fear about spreading any potential remaining infection. Also, who knows when I can get in as we all know his surgery schedule is crazy and timing with this is key. And it just makes the logistics more difficult. I could be wrong, but I thought I could drive to Omaha, have the HSG and drive home. If it turns out I am under anesthesia, I might have to coordinate to bring my mom or someone else with. Just more hassle. If its worth it, fine. But the idea that we might undo $15k worth of treatment with something that may not be necessary...well I think I just stopped breathing for a second there. This is sort of our one chance at this full treatment per dh, you know? Teresa was going to check the surgery schedule and then talk to Dr. Hilgers either by writing it up and getting a written response or at their weekly meeting on Monday. She asked me which I preferred and we both just agreed that this is time sensitive. Obviously, I am going to wait and see what Dr. Hilgers recommends, but I do think he is new to this controlling infection during surgery. It seems there is a good chance it is inflammation and they will open without us even checking. I mean, Dr. Hilgers was able to open them last time with a wire during the selective HSG. That would indicate it probably wasn't scar tissue last time. If its the same, they may open on their own. We could potentially try without even checking them. However, there is risk in that. We are as clean as we will be. We are abstaining. Once we start ttc, we will start sharing any bugs we have that may have been left in either of us. We don't want to "waste" ttc and potentially spreading infection for three months with blocked tubes. So that makes me think we should check them as Dr. Toth suggested. He said anyone could do the procedure and I don't think he was worried about infection spreading for the typical checking of tubes. However, I could be wrong. I don't know much about the procedure and I thought a former patient said the Dr. Toth should be the one to unblock tubes because he can minimize infection. However, Dr. Toth told me he doesn't unblock tubes anymore. I don't know. So then, the question is do i have a local person do an HSG, Dr. Hilgers do an HSG or Dr. Hilgers do a lap HSG? Again, I am open to hearing people's thoughts because I don't know enough about the differences. It seems maybe if Dr. Hilgers does the lap HSG, then he can unblock with a wire whereas he can't unblock them if he is just testing them? However, if you can only unblock the tubes that are closed due to inflammation, that seems to me they will already be opened if that is the case so that isn't a big threat? If they are really blocked due to scar tissue, could that be done during the same lap? I assume not, but I don't really know. If they are blocked and Dr. Hilgers finds out through HSG that doesn't include a lap, will he have teh full info he needs to determine if it is a minor versus major repair. If it's minor surgery repair, obviously I will be facing the surgery decision regardless if we avoided the HSG lap. So lots of unknowns about the procedure and risk. I will wait for Dr. Hilgers input, but in the meantime I would like to hear from those of you with experience.
Teresa also had some helpful recommendations for immune support.
- D3 (start at 4000 iu a day for a month and then go to 2000ius)
- The dose of Tumeric is 1000mg twice a day-turmeric is a powerful anti inflammatory-Dr. HIlgers later took me off this saying there is preliminary evidence of birth defects and he didn't want to chance it.
- a 12 strain probiotic -The probiotic is called thera biotic complete from a company called Prothera inc. You need a doctor's code to order it.
- a concentrated antioxidant drink you take 1 fl oz daily, contains acai, blueberry mango seed...I need to refer back to my notes but you can buy it at whole foods or through other places. I found this on amazon and it looks the exact same. Note, price is for 3 bottles, each with 32 servings.
http://www.amazon.com/SUPERFRUIT-ELIXIR-Concentrated-Liquid-Antioxidant/dp/B0097XGLE0/ref=sr_1_1?s=hpc&ie=UTF8&qid=1377710480&sr=1-1&keywords=concentrated+antioxidant+drink
This morning we started the oral antibiotics. We are on once a day 300 mg and 500 mg Zithromax. The is the one that can tint your sweat, tears, urine etc red so that would be crazy. It also might upset your stomach, but is best taken on an empty stomach. I took it at 7, felt nauseated around 8:45am despite breakfast by then, and then felt better around 10:30am. That makes me think it was the medicine, but we'll see. Charlie said he feels sick to his stomach after breakfast, so it could be a bug or a something we both ate.
The news I wanted to share about Dr. Hilgers that I am excited about is that both his son and daughter are ob/gyns and doing a fellowship with him. How cool is that?! I wish Dr. Toth would work more toward training others, but I am so grateful to Dr. Hilgers commitment to continue his life's work!
8.25.2013
IV Day 7-9
IV days 7-9-Fri, Saturday, Sunday (I changed the way I numbered things to try and make it less confusing. I also added pics to this and previous posts, so feel free to check them out!)
Things continued to go smoothly. My IV has never really bothered me. The worst is it got mildly sore today. In addition, the clear plastic pulled on my arm hair a bit today (day 9). Other than that, nothing. It is easier than my pump I had with previous IVs because mostly they took care of it (changed bags, batteries), they wrapped it much better so I didn't have to wrap it each day to shower, and the tubing is less likely to kink meaning I haven't once heard the alarm (so dh doesn't feel nervous about going to work with it tomorrow). Other differences are it is a different brand of pump, takes smaller batteries, and the IV bag is more concentrated (i.e. less actual fluid going in). I am perseverating on the small stuff only to give you the full pic and tell you there is nothing to be worried about :).
I never got any more cramps or soreness. I am noticing looser stools, and my guess is I will be a downright mess by 30 days despite probiotics. Such is life. I am much happier home with two ply soft toilet paper than that sandpaper in the apt and the airport. And can I just say I wish I had some moist toilets in my purse? Okay, TMI. I know. But for those following in my footsteps, pack accordingly. :)
Day 7 we continued to have fun, walking half way across the brookly.n bridge (because we were that lame and TIRED-tons of walking all week). Greeting me when I returned was Wafels and Dinges. I was excited to finally be in the same spot at the wafel truck my BFF turned me on to, which was a game I figured I would lose due to technology not cooperating and thus overjoyed that it randomly happened.
Since we flew home on day 8, we each were taught how to change our bag (due to occur on day 9) and batteries (not expected, but just in case). We traveled home with the pumps on and extra IV bags in our checked luggage. Dr. Toth's office provided a 2nd letter, this one more specifically for the airport. This letter included mention of the extra IV bag. We presented the letter with our boarding pass and DL and were given instructions. We simply went around the scanner and got patted down. It was fine and there wasn't much delay.
The trip was fun and helpful, but it is so awesome to be back home with our sweet boys.
I changed both our bags this morning easily and without incident. I had some brighter bleeding this morning, so I wonder if I am actually started. Dr. Toth said it may or may not be delayed. As before, the blood is bright red and healthy, which is always awesome to see. The first time I was on the antibiotics and saw the bright red blood, I was so shocked. I had no idea it was supposed to look like that!
Tuesday morning is day 11, so I will remove the IVs in teh morning. Dr. Toth send home alcohol pads, 2x2 guaze, and bandaids. They don't expect it to bleed much, and it is just like a long piece of spaghetti (no needle or anything). Again, not concerned. We will take Tuesday off and start the orals Wed.
Things continued to go smoothly. My IV has never really bothered me. The worst is it got mildly sore today. In addition, the clear plastic pulled on my arm hair a bit today (day 9). Other than that, nothing. It is easier than my pump I had with previous IVs because mostly they took care of it (changed bags, batteries), they wrapped it much better so I didn't have to wrap it each day to shower, and the tubing is less likely to kink meaning I haven't once heard the alarm (so dh doesn't feel nervous about going to work with it tomorrow). Other differences are it is a different brand of pump, takes smaller batteries, and the IV bag is more concentrated (i.e. less actual fluid going in). I am perseverating on the small stuff only to give you the full pic and tell you there is nothing to be worried about :).
I never got any more cramps or soreness. I am noticing looser stools, and my guess is I will be a downright mess by 30 days despite probiotics. Such is life. I am much happier home with two ply soft toilet paper than that sandpaper in the apt and the airport. And can I just say I wish I had some moist toilets in my purse? Okay, TMI. I know. But for those following in my footsteps, pack accordingly. :)
Day 7 we continued to have fun, walking half way across the brookly.n bridge (because we were that lame and TIRED-tons of walking all week). Greeting me when I returned was Wafels and Dinges. I was excited to finally be in the same spot at the wafel truck my BFF turned me on to, which was a game I figured I would lose due to technology not cooperating and thus overjoyed that it randomly happened.
Since we flew home on day 8, we each were taught how to change our bag (due to occur on day 9) and batteries (not expected, but just in case). We traveled home with the pumps on and extra IV bags in our checked luggage. Dr. Toth's office provided a 2nd letter, this one more specifically for the airport. This letter included mention of the extra IV bag. We presented the letter with our boarding pass and DL and were given instructions. We simply went around the scanner and got patted down. It was fine and there wasn't much delay.
The trip was fun and helpful, but it is so awesome to be back home with our sweet boys.
I changed both our bags this morning easily and without incident. I had some brighter bleeding this morning, so I wonder if I am actually started. Dr. Toth said it may or may not be delayed. As before, the blood is bright red and healthy, which is always awesome to see. The first time I was on the antibiotics and saw the bright red blood, I was so shocked. I had no idea it was supposed to look like that!
Tuesday morning is day 11, so I will remove the IVs in teh morning. Dr. Toth send home alcohol pads, 2x2 guaze, and bandaids. They don't expect it to bleed much, and it is just like a long piece of spaghetti (no needle or anything). Again, not concerned. We will take Tuesday off and start the orals Wed.
8.22.2013
IV Day 6, Questions for You, and Dr. Toth's retirement
IV Day 6, Thursday:
KEEP THE QUESTIONS COMING. I PLAN TO ANSWER THEM SHORTLY
Today was another good one, despite not going AT ALL as planned. Oops. We had many days we were up early, no problem. One we were up late, but still on time to our late appt. And then there was today, where we were up early with a late appt (10:30am) and managed to be late. Honestly, not sure what happened there, but it involved time to make eggs and coffee, time for dh to submit a resume, but a rushed shower, an equally rushed booking of the "insider wall street" finance tour, and no time to check the weather. But I did have time to blow dry my hair and make us late, which was ironic given I walked out the door and it was pouring. Forgetting we even had an umbrella in the apt, we attempted to hail a cab while walking in the direction of the doctor's office. Needless to say we got to Dr. Toth's prior to finding a cab. Halfway there we determined dh would go back after getting his 2 vicadi.n. Normally he waits in the office to "marinate" (Dr. Toth language) a half hour or 45 min, since his shots take less than 15min while my washes take 55 min (if they are a single wash-today it was). I was a little concerned since that morning while wiping I felt tender, but the washes were fine. The only difference is I noticed the catheter being inserted, where I hadn't even noticed before. But after the first 1/2 second, I didn't even feel that. I think I mistakingly thought urinary tract when hearing catheter, but it really is in your cervix for these washes, so it isn't as big of a deal at all. I felt a little bit of cramps for the hour after. Dawn commented how healthy and pink my cervix looked now, not like I had even just had a D&C. Good news! I took an ibuprofen afterwards, just to be sure I wasn't slowed down at all for the day's events.
Dh came back with my jacket, his hat, and our umbrella and had his injections. He had no valium this day (didn't realize he had none since the first day). Today dh said the shots were even easier than Monday (Monday was also two prostate shots, no SV injections), which was a relief because he had woken a little tender today, given his four shots the day prior (SV injections plus prostate injections). But he continued to feel fine all day today, thankfully.
After our treatment, we were to do our follow-up appt with Dr. Toth. this was not to be done on the last day as Dr. Toth was not available. Which was fine because Sat was my last treatment, but dh would be done on Fri. Dr. Toth is the one that does dh's shots, Dawn the nurse does my washes. And we didn't want to do the follow-up tomorrow because dh would be on Demora.l and wouldn't remember the convo. We were going to ask Dr. Toth about this when we arrived, but they were already on top of it and told us to come into Dr. Toth's office after I got dressed.
Dr. Toth is very easy to get along with, if I haven't mentioned that before. He is funny, easy-going, has silly one liners I am sure he says to every patient. His job is to put people at ease. He is fairly easy to understand and he wants to make sure you really understand what is going on. By the way, all the staff is fantastic and so open to any questions, etc. One thing that struck me last time I was here was how often I actually got to talk on the phone to Dr. Toth afterwards. He really stays with you and is extremely committed and accessible. He reassured us of this again in his office.
First of all we discussed how Dr. Toth had only one result back and that was that we both had Chlam.ydia for sure. Prior to this trip, dh was tested with urine only at the urologist. We knew it wasn't an accurate test, but it was non-invasive so we let them. Can I just note that not everyone who goes to Dr. Toth has CT, but yes, most due. I know this because we came back negative (both of us) after heavy biaxin in 2008. At Dr. Toth's. His lab. So no, not everyone is positive. But we have a serious epidemic in this country of CT, and it is constantly perpetuated by the fact that people test negative by common testing and think all is well. So frustrating! And then if you do come back positive, the idea that one pill will take care of it when we know that it goes through various life cycles and that pill can never get the rest. So frustrating! I specifically requested no biaxin due to my suspected immunity. Dr. Toth already planned a different course for us. We would take two pills each day-one Ripamphin and one Zithromax. We would take them each a month at breakfast time, beginning 24 hrs after the IV is removed.
Okay, onto my tubes. Yes they were blocked. Dr. Toth reiterated his test was not as sensitive as the way Dr. Hilgers does it and all he knows is with even great pressure the dye would not go through. He said that when I had the miscarriages, the bacteria grows at faster rate than the baby with my immune system suppresses and that's how our babies die. He doesn't know if my tubes have scar tissue blocking them or they are merely swollen. If they are swollen shut from infection, the antibiotics can result in them reopening on their own. Smart girl, E! I had no idea! As a result, the plan is to wait one month (not one cycle) and have my local ob/gyn repeat the hsg. Prior to this we will have no intercourse because we will not want to chance any infection remains to reblock the tubes or further damage. We will be sure to have the doc view on the film if dye goes through. If it's blocked, we need to know if the dye goes only half way through and stops? If so, almost impossible to open and if so still much higher chance of ectopic. Now, if the dye gets stopped at the end, or only a little comes out, Dr. Toth said that is much easier to repair. Dr. Toth does not do surgery to repair tubes, and trusts that Dr. Hilgers to do the procedure if necessary, bringing on board appropriate abx to ensure he does not spread any possible remaining infection. Since my tubes were opened easily by Dr. Hilgers in June 2012 with the dye and open as recently as Dec 2012 when I was pregnant most recently, of course we hope they are not beyond repair. Now, we know that Dr. Hilgers is a wonderful surgeon at tube repair, so that will factor in to our decision of if we operate, etc. I would love to hear from you if you've had a tubal repair surgery with Dr. Hilgers. I am glad we can retest so soon. We certainly don't want to put off a surgery when we can do it this insurance year. Let's just say we will have no problem saying we paid over 7% AGI in medical expenses. For anyone who has claimed that, I would love to hear from you what kinds of records I should keep and questions I should be asking.
If we do operate on the tubes, we will have to wait the amount of time required to allow everything to heal (maybe 3-4 months) to ttc. Normally Dr. Toth says 3-4 months post treatment is a good amount of time to wait to ttc to allow the immune system to calm down. Not us. If my tubes are open in a month, he wants us to ttc right away if that is our ultimate intention. Dr. Toth also reiterated what we were thinking, if we have another loss, its the end of the road for us. No questions.
Now if we do get pregnant, he will likely be changing my IV from Clindamyacin to something else. I have had FIVE-ten day IVs of Clindamyacin (4 for pregnancies, 1 for treatment just now) and 2 IV's of Clindamyacin during my two full term deliveries. Yes, you read that right. That means I have moved beyond the norm for Dr. Toth even and into unchartered territory. He thought, he scratched his head, he talked out loud, he told me to remind him. Dr. Toth kept repeating he would not drop me and we would work through all of this. I did, however, push him a bit about the IV to think about it now because I have been known to get pregnant the first cycle trying. Since Dr. Toth has recommended in the past to get the IV as soon as my hcg doubles, that is a fast turnaround. Even with the local infusion company on board, a new script would slow things down, and once they receive it, they usually need a few days to prep (longer if the weekend). He mentioned rice something or Cleocin. The others tend to burn veins. Then I would continue an oral regime during pregnancy as I did with Anthony (that wasn't in place when I was pregnant with Charlie) of 10 days on, two months off. With another IV upon delivery, I assume, though it wasn't discussed.
I did ask about concern with me being on hcg. Dr. Toth said even though it suppressed the immune system, it was mild and he wasn't concerned. I FORGOT TO ASK HIM RE LDN. I also told him we didn't really want to ttc if Dr. Toth had major concerns it would put us right back here. Only way to stay 100% was to avoid intercourse always (or use condoms) and not tic. If we feel so much better after treatment and never want to go back there to those symptoms, that was our best bet. But there were good signs, like how healthy our boys were after just biaxin and how dh's prostate didn't look any worse than it did five years ago. Sure, there were infection signs, but in his eyes I am young (35) and the end of the road was only clear cut if a) the tubes are blocked in a way that is difficult to repair and not likely successful or b) we had one more miscarriage. We agreed. Time will tell. So another question, for those of you Catholics that did treatment, did you limit intercourse? Did you avoid except ttc? Did you use perforated condoms? Or did you return to sharing infection if any remained in each of you? No judgement, just contemplating.
So that's it for next steps. We tested for more bacteria that will be back in 2-3 more weeks, but CT was the big one. If I add in the Dr. Hilgers the timeline looks like this---
Fri:
Sept. 25:
Questions for Dr. Toth:
Dr. Toth's retirement plans:
Dr. Toth's retirement is not like what you and I would consider retirement. He is merely scaling back and will be only 10 days living in NY each month, and at least two weeks every month in FL. He mentioned opening a second site in FL and neither dh or I thought he was kidding.
Okay, I thought I would get to our fun stuff today, but I will just keep it brief (for me). I took us down to lower manhattan for a wall street insiders tour (dh is a CPA; i find it interesting as well). except in my hurry today I didn't realize the tour wasn't daily, so i accidentally booked it for tomorrow (a demora.l day). Oops! That caused us to unnecessary rush down to lower manhattan and miss St. Patrick's again! At least it won't start until the it should be out of his system. It was pouring and we stopped at a coffee place and regrouped. Lower manhattan has these great signs with all the attractions, so we ended up discovering a treasure we wouldn't have found otherwise: the Museum of Jewish Heri.tage. Dr. Toth's is near museum mile, but dh and I are more into history than art or natural history which was the focus of those. Even the Jewish museum on the mile was more artifacts and art focused. So we were thrilled to find this gem for $12 each, not just because of the Jewish roots of our Catholic faith, but for my own personal Jewish roots. My mother's mother (yes, that means me too) was jewish. Though sadly she knew nothing of her faith. Her parent didn't pass it down for fear of ridicule. They came over from Poland/Russia area to start a new life. My grandmother married a Catholic and the rest was history. :) The museum was great, as was the free ferry ride to S.taten island passing the statue of lib.erty. We grabbed an appetizer and tried a peach beer at a festive local bar with live music and headed home exhausted I am bummed we missed St. Patrick's, but it looks like we will head that direction again tomorrow!
KEEP THE QUESTIONS COMING. I PLAN TO ANSWER THEM SHORTLY
KEEP THE QUESTIONS COMING. I PLAN TO ANSWER THEM SHORTLY
Today was another good one, despite not going AT ALL as planned. Oops. We had many days we were up early, no problem. One we were up late, but still on time to our late appt. And then there was today, where we were up early with a late appt (10:30am) and managed to be late. Honestly, not sure what happened there, but it involved time to make eggs and coffee, time for dh to submit a resume, but a rushed shower, an equally rushed booking of the "insider wall street" finance tour, and no time to check the weather. But I did have time to blow dry my hair and make us late, which was ironic given I walked out the door and it was pouring. Forgetting we even had an umbrella in the apt, we attempted to hail a cab while walking in the direction of the doctor's office. Needless to say we got to Dr. Toth's prior to finding a cab. Halfway there we determined dh would go back after getting his 2 vicadi.n. Normally he waits in the office to "marinate" (Dr. Toth language) a half hour or 45 min, since his shots take less than 15min while my washes take 55 min (if they are a single wash-today it was). I was a little concerned since that morning while wiping I felt tender, but the washes were fine. The only difference is I noticed the catheter being inserted, where I hadn't even noticed before. But after the first 1/2 second, I didn't even feel that. I think I mistakingly thought urinary tract when hearing catheter, but it really is in your cervix for these washes, so it isn't as big of a deal at all. I felt a little bit of cramps for the hour after. Dawn commented how healthy and pink my cervix looked now, not like I had even just had a D&C. Good news! I took an ibuprofen afterwards, just to be sure I wasn't slowed down at all for the day's events.
Dh came back with my jacket, his hat, and our umbrella and had his injections. He had no valium this day (didn't realize he had none since the first day). Today dh said the shots were even easier than Monday (Monday was also two prostate shots, no SV injections), which was a relief because he had woken a little tender today, given his four shots the day prior (SV injections plus prostate injections). But he continued to feel fine all day today, thankfully.
After our treatment, we were to do our follow-up appt with Dr. Toth. this was not to be done on the last day as Dr. Toth was not available. Which was fine because Sat was my last treatment, but dh would be done on Fri. Dr. Toth is the one that does dh's shots, Dawn the nurse does my washes. And we didn't want to do the follow-up tomorrow because dh would be on Demora.l and wouldn't remember the convo. We were going to ask Dr. Toth about this when we arrived, but they were already on top of it and told us to come into Dr. Toth's office after I got dressed.
Dr. Toth is very easy to get along with, if I haven't mentioned that before. He is funny, easy-going, has silly one liners I am sure he says to every patient. His job is to put people at ease. He is fairly easy to understand and he wants to make sure you really understand what is going on. By the way, all the staff is fantastic and so open to any questions, etc. One thing that struck me last time I was here was how often I actually got to talk on the phone to Dr. Toth afterwards. He really stays with you and is extremely committed and accessible. He reassured us of this again in his office.
First of all we discussed how Dr. Toth had only one result back and that was that we both had Chlam.ydia for sure. Prior to this trip, dh was tested with urine only at the urologist. We knew it wasn't an accurate test, but it was non-invasive so we let them. Can I just note that not everyone who goes to Dr. Toth has CT, but yes, most due. I know this because we came back negative (both of us) after heavy biaxin in 2008. At Dr. Toth's. His lab. So no, not everyone is positive. But we have a serious epidemic in this country of CT, and it is constantly perpetuated by the fact that people test negative by common testing and think all is well. So frustrating! And then if you do come back positive, the idea that one pill will take care of it when we know that it goes through various life cycles and that pill can never get the rest. So frustrating! I specifically requested no biaxin due to my suspected immunity. Dr. Toth already planned a different course for us. We would take two pills each day-one Ripamphin and one Zithromax. We would take them each a month at breakfast time, beginning 24 hrs after the IV is removed.
Okay, onto my tubes. Yes they were blocked. Dr. Toth reiterated his test was not as sensitive as the way Dr. Hilgers does it and all he knows is with even great pressure the dye would not go through. He said that when I had the miscarriages, the bacteria grows at faster rate than the baby with my immune system suppresses and that's how our babies die. He doesn't know if my tubes have scar tissue blocking them or they are merely swollen. If they are swollen shut from infection, the antibiotics can result in them reopening on their own. Smart girl, E! I had no idea! As a result, the plan is to wait one month (not one cycle) and have my local ob/gyn repeat the hsg. Prior to this we will have no intercourse because we will not want to chance any infection remains to reblock the tubes or further damage. We will be sure to have the doc view on the film if dye goes through. If it's blocked, we need to know if the dye goes only half way through and stops? If so, almost impossible to open and if so still much higher chance of ectopic. Now, if the dye gets stopped at the end, or only a little comes out, Dr. Toth said that is much easier to repair. Dr. Toth does not do surgery to repair tubes, and trusts that Dr. Hilgers to do the procedure if necessary, bringing on board appropriate abx to ensure he does not spread any possible remaining infection. Since my tubes were opened easily by Dr. Hilgers in June 2012 with the dye and open as recently as Dec 2012 when I was pregnant most recently, of course we hope they are not beyond repair. Now, we know that Dr. Hilgers is a wonderful surgeon at tube repair, so that will factor in to our decision of if we operate, etc. I would love to hear from you if you've had a tubal repair surgery with Dr. Hilgers. I am glad we can retest so soon. We certainly don't want to put off a surgery when we can do it this insurance year. Let's just say we will have no problem saying we paid over 7% AGI in medical expenses. For anyone who has claimed that, I would love to hear from you what kinds of records I should keep and questions I should be asking.
If we do operate on the tubes, we will have to wait the amount of time required to allow everything to heal (maybe 3-4 months) to ttc. Normally Dr. Toth says 3-4 months post treatment is a good amount of time to wait to ttc to allow the immune system to calm down. Not us. If my tubes are open in a month, he wants us to ttc right away if that is our ultimate intention. Dr. Toth also reiterated what we were thinking, if we have another loss, its the end of the road for us. No questions.
Now if we do get pregnant, he will likely be changing my IV from Clindamyacin to something else. I have had FIVE-ten day IVs of Clindamyacin (4 for pregnancies, 1 for treatment just now) and 2 IV's of Clindamyacin during my two full term deliveries. Yes, you read that right. That means I have moved beyond the norm for Dr. Toth even and into unchartered territory. He thought, he scratched his head, he talked out loud, he told me to remind him. Dr. Toth kept repeating he would not drop me and we would work through all of this. I did, however, push him a bit about the IV to think about it now because I have been known to get pregnant the first cycle trying. Since Dr. Toth has recommended in the past to get the IV as soon as my hcg doubles, that is a fast turnaround. Even with the local infusion company on board, a new script would slow things down, and once they receive it, they usually need a few days to prep (longer if the weekend). He mentioned rice something or Cleocin. The others tend to burn veins. Then I would continue an oral regime during pregnancy as I did with Anthony (that wasn't in place when I was pregnant with Charlie) of 10 days on, two months off. With another IV upon delivery, I assume, though it wasn't discussed.
I did ask about concern with me being on hcg. Dr. Toth said even though it suppressed the immune system, it was mild and he wasn't concerned. I FORGOT TO ASK HIM RE LDN. I also told him we didn't really want to ttc if Dr. Toth had major concerns it would put us right back here. Only way to stay 100% was to avoid intercourse always (or use condoms) and not tic. If we feel so much better after treatment and never want to go back there to those symptoms, that was our best bet. But there were good signs, like how healthy our boys were after just biaxin and how dh's prostate didn't look any worse than it did five years ago. Sure, there were infection signs, but in his eyes I am young (35) and the end of the road was only clear cut if a) the tubes are blocked in a way that is difficult to repair and not likely successful or b) we had one more miscarriage. We agreed. Time will tell. So another question, for those of you Catholics that did treatment, did you limit intercourse? Did you avoid except ttc? Did you use perforated condoms? Or did you return to sharing infection if any remained in each of you? No judgement, just contemplating.
So that's it for next steps. We tested for more bacteria that will be back in 2-3 more weeks, but CT was the big one. If I add in the Dr. Hilgers the timeline looks like this---
Fri:
- Dh gets demoral, 2 prostate injections, 2 seminal vesicle injections
- I get double uterine washes
- We both change IV bags (every other day)
- remind them to send copy of records to local ob/gyn and Dr. Hilgers
- I get last uterine wash
- They teach us how to change bags and send us home with another.
- We head to the airport and get to see the boys again!
- We change the bags
- Go to work with IVs.
- remove IVs, ship to NY the pumps
- make appt for local ob/gyn to check my tubes
- start orals for 30 days
- start my period-be sure to chart with care and note if my TEBB is gone, etc
- maybe peak plus 7 draw
Sept. 25:
- last day of orals
- have local ob check my tubes and fax results to Dr. Hilgers (no intercourse since prior to treatment
- cycle review-dr toth says my prog and estrogen may be good on their own as result of treatment and hcg may not even be necessary.
- see if I can get on all my meds and ttc if tubes open (mid Oct). This would be the first time we would have green light to have any intercourse. Dr. Toth did say I may not even need hcg anymore after treatment. However, given that it won't hurt, he suggests we don't alter since we are trying to get pregnant right away.
- Dr. Toth may want me on pre peak orals, check
- if tubes not open, have Dr. Hilgers comment on surgery-if and when, ensure he will use abx to control possible infection.
- So if all went perfectly, and according to Hilgers stats we got pregnant in first three cycles as our history supports, should we carry to term we would be looking at a mid July, mid Aug or mid Sept (2014) due date. Is that getting ahead of myself, absolutely. Just stating best case scenario.
Questions for Dr. Toth:
- Will my next cycle be delayed due to D&C that occurred around ovulation and treatment in general? Some girls may be reading this that can chime in on their experience-please!!!
- Confirm wait 1 month (30 days) not 1 cycle to retest tubes.
- If we test positive for something else, will that alter our orals?
- If tubes are open and we try in what would be Oct, do we take any pre peak orals?
- What about LDN? Any concerns about use when ttc? Dr. H was going to add it in.
Dr. Toth's retirement plans:
Dr. Toth's retirement is not like what you and I would consider retirement. He is merely scaling back and will be only 10 days living in NY each month, and at least two weeks every month in FL. He mentioned opening a second site in FL and neither dh or I thought he was kidding.
Okay, I thought I would get to our fun stuff today, but I will just keep it brief (for me). I took us down to lower manhattan for a wall street insiders tour (dh is a CPA; i find it interesting as well). except in my hurry today I didn't realize the tour wasn't daily, so i accidentally booked it for tomorrow (a demora.l day). Oops! That caused us to unnecessary rush down to lower manhattan and miss St. Patrick's again! At least it won't start until the it should be out of his system. It was pouring and we stopped at a coffee place and regrouped. Lower manhattan has these great signs with all the attractions, so we ended up discovering a treasure we wouldn't have found otherwise: the Museum of Jewish Heri.tage. Dr. Toth's is near museum mile, but dh and I are more into history than art or natural history which was the focus of those. Even the Jewish museum on the mile was more artifacts and art focused. So we were thrilled to find this gem for $12 each, not just because of the Jewish roots of our Catholic faith, but for my own personal Jewish roots. My mother's mother (yes, that means me too) was jewish. Though sadly she knew nothing of her faith. Her parent didn't pass it down for fear of ridicule. They came over from Poland/Russia area to start a new life. My grandmother married a Catholic and the rest was history. :) The museum was great, as was the free ferry ride to S.taten island passing the statue of lib.erty. We grabbed an appetizer and tried a peach beer at a festive local bar with live music and headed home exhausted I am bummed we missed St. Patrick's, but it looks like we will head that direction again tomorrow!
KEEP THE QUESTIONS COMING. I PLAN TO ANSWER THEM SHORTLY
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